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You obviously don't know what SA is. Here. Social anxiety is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance.
Social anxiety is the fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression.
If a person usually becomes (irrationally) anxious in social situations, but seems better when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/w...social-anxiety
My social anxiety doesn't just happen when the sky is clear, because it's a Monday, or because I didn't wear matching socks when I got dressed in the morning. This disorder prevents me from contacting the electric company and going to the post office, I cannot leave my house to go to work on some days because it is so bad.
This "common everyday occurrence to deal with" has only ever happened me ONCE in the entire 3 years I have been renting.
I hope you don't ever post on threads I start again
Since you're the one with the problem, you need to be the one to find your own solution...your landlord is not bound to bow to you and your needs...I suggest you and your bf buy your home or rent a home from a private landlord who might be a bit more lenient with you and your issues.
Your landlord has a right to enter your apt with a 24 hr written notice...it can be emailed, mailed, taped to your door or sent by carrier pigeon.......as long as they give notice, you can't stop them. If they deem it an emergency, they dont' have to give you notice at all...just a knock and in they come.
You can't legally change your locks without giving a key to your landlord...you do not own the property and you can't keep them out...as for your dogs..crate them or lock them in the bedroom and post a notice that the dogs are locked in the room.
You obviously don't know what SA is. ... I hope you don't ever post on threads I start again
You underestimate me as I certainly do know what SA is. In light of your SA problem I gave you some good suggestions which you arbitrarily decided to either completely overlook or ignored, viz, (a) emailing your LL and (b) having your boyfriend take care of the details for you.
We all have our crosses to bear but as adults we work around them to simplify and accomplish what are sometimes insurmountable obstacles. This little dilemma you had wasn't by any stretch an insurmountable obstacle and you really shouldn't listen to your boyfriend who's advising you that you can break your lease if the same thing happens again as he is totally and completely misinformed (as you've already been told by people who know a little bit more about things like this than you).
Thanks for the admonition against posting on any other threads you start but there was no need to even mention it as I really don't waste time on people with closed ears.
You underestimate me as I certainly do know what SA is. In light of your SA problem I gave you some good suggestions which you arbitrarily decided to either completely overlook or ignored, viz, (a) emailing your LL and (b) having your boyfriend take care of the details for you.
We all have our crosses to bear but as adults we work around them to simplify and accomplish what are sometimes insurmountable obstacles. This little dilemma you had wasn't by any stretch an insurmountable obstacle and you really shouldn't listen to your boyfriend who's advising you that you can break your lease if the same thing happens again as he is totally and completely misinformed (as you've already been told by people who know a little bit more about things like this than you).
Thanks for the admonition against posting on any other threads you start but there was no need to even mention it as I really don't waste time on people with closed ears.
No you did not. Just because you think it's good doesn't mean I do.
And having my boyfriend take care of it wasn't an option.
My LL doesn't have an email, btw, so, like, how the hell does that help me?
Since you're the one with the problem, you need to be the one to find your own solution...your landlord is not bound to bow to you and your needs...I suggest you and your bf buy your home or rent a home from a private landlord who might be a bit more lenient with you and your issues.
Your landlord has a right to enter your apt with a 24 hr written notice...it can be emailed, mailed, taped to your door or sent by carrier pigeon.......as long as they give notice, you can't stop them. If they deem it an emergency, they dont' have to give you notice at all...just a knock and in they come.
You can't legally change your locks without giving a key to your landlord...you do not own the property and you can't keep them out...as for your dogs..crate them or lock them in the bedroom and post a notice that the dogs are locked in the room.
For the love of everything
That's the problem they didn't tell me when they were coming into my apartment. THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME A 24 HOUR NOTICE. They gave me a "we don't know when they'll be in your apartment" notice.
I suggest, in the future, don't post on my threads without reading them first.
For the love of everything
That's the problem they didn't tell me when they were coming into my apartment. THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME A 24 HOUR NOTICE. They gave me a "we don't know when they'll be in your apartment" notice.
I suggest, in the future, don't post on my threads without reading them first.
Yes, they did give you notice and it was legal notice at that. And you can't dictate who can and cannot post in your threads.
I suggest you and bf read your state's landlord/tenant laws because neither one of you have a clue as to what's legal and what's not.
TwistedHarls, you asked me if anything happened to me when I changed the locks to my apartment with the landlord who would come in without notice. No, nothing happened.
He looked sideways at me, but wasn't going to admit he tried to get in, so never said anything.
And as your previous experience showed, that you mentioned, the maintenance guy or the owner or whoever, will contact you and say, "hey, I couldn't get in." And then you say, "You need to give me notice when you're going to come in. Let's make an appointment, and I'll give you a copy of the new key at the same time."
Rinse, repeat.
Worst case scenario, they don't renew your lease. Good riddance.
As far as snarky posters on City Data. Go into your profile dashboard and find the Ignore feature on the left hand side. You add the names of posters who you don't want to read. Then what happens is, that when they post, all you can see is a line where the post goes and the name of the person who posted there, but you can't read what they wrote.
It's like they're in the room, but with a gag on. And my guess is it drives them nuts when you never respond to their snarky posts, which of course, is why they post snarky posts - because they like to argue and get a rise out of people. So, put them on Ignore, and don't respond to them.
Works for me.
BTW, if you want a mod to close your thread, send them a DM. Search for UltraRunner, who is the mod for this thread, by using the advanced search feature. Then send a Direct Message.
Take care and change those locks. It will give you peace of mind and you can just act blonde when they call you out on it. I used to take my locks out of the door, and drive them to the hardware store. Way cheaper that way. Would be good if someone could stay at your house while you do this, since there will only be a hole where the door knob goes until you get back.
Sup guys, I'm in New Mexico and have a few renting questions, and if any of you can help, that'd be great!
So, like, my apartment is turning on the air conditioning soon (thank the gods!) and I got a notice on my door today that said something along the lines of I'm supposed to just be ready for someone I don't know to just show up and come into my apartment sometime between the 12th and 30th of May, and that they'll only come during the office's business hours, which narrows it down to 9 days they can come. Oh, and we can't schedule appointments. And the apartment is only open 3 days a week.
I've got two dogs. One of them is very temperamental around strange men, especially if my boyfriend isn't home. When I signed my lease, there was this thing that said my land lord needs to give me 24 hours written notice of intent to enter my apartment. So, I figured "oh, if they ever need to come into the apartment, they'll let me know at least a day so I can make sure my dog's put up and I'm not there," but that's not the case. I'm just supposed to keep my dogs locked up for 9 days if I go anywhere,
Does giving me like, 22-DAY notice count as my required 24 hour notice? Because I'mma be pretty peeved if that's the case. I don't know how many apartments are here, but there's a lot...It's not a high-rise building, but instead a community of townhouses.
I'd love to just leave my dogs out and go out for the days they're supposed to be here, but since I'm a responsible, tax-paying adult, I can't do that...Also the note on the door requested that we put our pets up if we leave, so that'd just be a d-bag move, lol.
Another question: Can I like, change the locks and not let them have a key until this whole ordeal is over with? Because in the past, I've been in the bathroom (where I can't hear if someone's at the door) and my boyfriend in the other room wearing headphones while he games up stairs in a closed off room with the dogs, only to be greeted by a confused maintenance man who thought that no one was home. Kinda scary, but this was at a different apartment and he was there roughly 3 months after we put a repair order in that we completely forgot about.
Lastly: How do I passively tell my neighbors not to steal my street parking spot? We got new neighbors, and even when there is ample parking elsewhere, and closer to their apartments, my neighbors choose to steal my spot. D< If they moved their car one foot forward, I could fit behind him but nooo. Ugh.
So yeah, advise me on things if you know anything that can help! Personal experience is a plus!
If this is a parking spot literally on the public street there is no "stealing your spot", it is a public street and anyone can park anywhere they choose.
If this is an assigned parking spot then you need to put in writing to your landlord that the new neighbor is parking in the wrong spot and the landlord should take care of it.
The rest of your issues are stated in your lease as well as explained in the landlord/renter laws and guidelines for the area you live in. Do a bit of research, read your lease, talk to the landlord and get it worked out.
In regards to changing the locks and holding the key for ransom, no you cannot legally change the locks without written permission from the landlord and a valid reason and you will be required to give them a key as well. I'll bet you find that in your lease as well.
I also find it interesting you have such severe SA that it inhibits you going to work however, it does not seem to inihibit you posting on this very "social" forum with a less than appealing attitude.
PS ~~ You have to direct message the moderator, they usually don't direct message you.
I also find it interesting you have such severe SA that it inhibits you going to work however, it does not seem to inihibit you posting on this very "social" forum with a less than appealing attitude.
PS ~~ You have to direct message the moderator, they usually don't direct message you.
this is exactly what I was thinking as well..for someone who claims to have a SA, they have no problem running their mouth on the internet.
My advice still stands...if the OP has such horrible SA, then maybe they need to buy a house or find a private small time landlord. Living in an apt complex means you're going to have people coming and going from your unit for whatever reason and you can't just tell them 'no, you're not coming in!'...
especially after they've given you proper and legal notice they are coming in.
I think it's amusing that certain posters have no issues telling them to go ahead and change the locks..no one will know and the worst they can do is not renew your lease. In reality (because I don't think that poster lives in reality) they would either issue a 3 day notice or a 7 day notice and if you dont' produce the key, you will be evicted. You think having SA is bad?? Try having SA with an eviction on your record.
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