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Would you co-sign a lease for your kids, if it was the only way they could get a place? They are 17 & 18. DD has already moved in with her boyfriend, DS is just screwing around, dropped out of HS, keeps a fast food job for a few months, gets fired for not showing up, essentially lives off his friends until one kicks him out. I believe he lives by selling his ADD meds, he's 18, I'm no longer required to dole them out to him one pill at a time. I suspect he's been doing so for years, but now that's between him and the law. We were court-ordered to take him for counseling, which in turn ordered him to psychiatric care, which in turn prescribed various psychotropic drugs, which we were required to provide him with or face charges of medical neglect. We were required to administer them to him on a daily basis, which became impossible, due to his size and strength, so, we would just hand him his daily pill. I highly suspect he wasn't taking them and selling them instead, but I had no control over that issue.
We just recently moved from our rental house into an apt. We made it clear he is NOT staying with us, bringing in his weird friends, smoking who knows what at all hours. When he gets high---which is most of the time-he gets violent. He's punched holes in the walls, knocked the front door off its hinges, put holes in interior doors, and DD has left a trail of damage, too, mainly makeup stains on carpet that can't be removed, along with broken windows, broken screens, etc while she slipped out with her BF. I wouldn't rent to them, why should I co-sign for them? then, they would feel they could do anything, not pay rent, and let Mom & Dad pick up the damages?
Surely there must be some hole for them to crawl into---couch surf, whatever.....how do people rent with poor/no credit, and history of destroying past dwellings? Maybe I could get DS on SEC 8, whatever that is, DD could contine to live with BF, hey, that seems to be what they want!
Rant over, let the flames begin!
Last edited by MaryleeII; 04-29-2015 at 08:43 PM..
Reason: additional info
Would you co-sign a lease for your kids, if it was the only way they could get a place? They are 17 & 18. DD has already moved in with her boyfriend, DS is just screwing around, dropped out of HS, keeps a fast food job for a few months, gets fired for not showing up, essentially lives off his friends until one kicks him out. I believe he lives by selling his ADD meds, he's 18, I'm no longer required to dole them out to him one pill at a time.
We just recently moved from our rental house into an apt. We made it clear he is NOT staying with us, bringing in his weird friends, smoking who knows what at all hours. When he gets high---which is most of the time-he gets violent. He's punched holes in the walls, knocked the front door off its hinges, put holes in interior doors, and DD has left a trail of damage, too, mainly makeup stains on carpet tat can't be removed. We've pai out more than $2000 to repair/make right the damages they caused to the home we provided them with. I wouldn't rent to them, why should I co-sign for them? then, they would feel they could do anything, not pay rent, and let Mom & Dad pick up the damages?
Surely there must be some hole for them to crawl into---curch surf, whatever.....how do people rent with poor/no credit, and history of destroying past dwellings? Maybe I could get DS on SEC 8, whatever that is, DD could contine to live with BF, hey, that seems to be what they want!
Rant over, let the flames begin!
Heck no. What if they damage the apartment and then you are on the hook for the damage because you co-signed, and also they stop paying rent?
Do you have $20,000 - $30,000 just lying around the house?
IIRC, you have previously said you keep a credit card for emergencies, so I am going to venture to guess you don't.
You sure did raise some brats. Why you would even consider co-signing is beyond me. Your Kids will probably trash the place just to spite you.
You obviously can't set boundaries, heck you're moving just to get rid of them. You might want to seek counseling so you can learn to how to stop enabling their awful behavior.
You sure did raise some brats. Why you would even consider co-signing is beyond me. Your Kids will probably trash the place just to spite you.
You obviously can't set boundaries, heck you're moving just to get rid of them. You might want to seek counseling so you can learn to how to stop enabling their awful behavior.
We've been all through counseling, which only made things worse. They told the kids there were no boundaries', essentially. My DS loved to call CPS for any little, twisted complaint. We've been investigated so many times I've lost count. I'm not enabling their behavior, the enforced counseling has been the enabler. They tell the kids things such as we owe them a clean environment, then they sit back and literally won't put a dish in the dishwasher, saying we owe them. DS is physically huge, and I am disabled. He has attacked both DH and me several times. We've called police, only to have them tell us unless they actually saw the attacks, they couldn't/wouldn't do anything. I even reached out to APS--adult protective services--for abuse of a disabled person. They interviewed both of us, then said I was obviously not disabled, because they saw me walking around the house.
The reason we're moving is, its the best way to decouple ourselves from them. Believe me, incredible as it might sound, we can't make them leave without going through an eviction process, during which time they have full rights to live in the house if they have established residency previously. Its called squatters rights. In the meantime, we have to live in fear of them inflicting even more damage, assaulting us, etc. If we move and don't take them with us, then they have no rights to our dwelling. We almost bought the house we were renting, but decided it just didn't suit us for many reasons. What if we had bought the place? Then it would have been impossible to get them out of there!
Basically, we fell into the clutches of CPS, and they never let go until the kid ages out. DS especially saw an advocate for what he perceived abuse---that was my setting boundaries. If I dared even so much as mention he needed to do his homework, do household chores, keep his room clean, off to CPS he would go. Of course, his version was always in his favor. Counseling actually told me NOT to confront him, not to "pick battles". I was told to stay in a locked bedroom until dh came home and just not "provoke" him---with what, trying to raise him as a human being? He ran the household, and ran me. Believe me, I'm NT the type of person to back down, so we had many confrontations.
And no, we're not moving just to get rid of them, there's other reasons, such as taking early retirement, etc. We're not spineless jellyfish, just that we've lived under the thumb of the system, now its time for us to move on with our lives!
I'm heartsick at the path they're going down, at this rate they will end up homeless bums. I've tried to bring them up right, but that was twisted into abuse, so, let them now figure it out their way!
Would you co-sign a lease for your kids, if it was the only way they could get a place? They are 17 & 18. DD has already moved in with her boyfriend, DS is just screwing around, dropped out of HS, keeps a fast food job for a few months, gets fired for not showing up, essentially lives off his friends until one kicks him out. I believe he lives by selling his ADD meds, he's 18, I'm no longer required to dole them out to him one pill at a time.
We just recently moved from our rental house into an apt. We made it clear he is NOT staying with us, bringing in his weird friends, smoking who knows what at all hours. When he gets high---which is most of the time-he gets violent. He's punched holes in the walls, knocked the front door off its hinges, put holes in interior doors, and DD has left a trail of damage, too, mainly makeup stains on carpet tat can't be removed. We've pai out more than $2000 to repair/make right the damages they caused to the home we provided them with. I wouldn't rent to them, why should I co-sign for them? then, they would feel they could do anything, not pay rent, and let Mom & Dad pick up the damages?
Surely there must be some hole for them to crawl into---couch surf, whatever.....how do people rent with poor/no credit, and history of destroying past dwellings? Maybe I could get DS on SEC 8, whatever that is, DD could contine to live with BF, hey, that seems to be what they want!
Would you co-sign a lease for your kids, if it was the only way they could get a place? They are 17 & 18. DD has already moved in with her boyfriend, DS is just screwing around, dropped out of HS, keeps a fast food job for a few months, gets fired for not showing up, essentially lives off his friends until one kicks him out. I believe he lives by selling his ADD meds, he's 18, I'm no longer required to dole them out to him one pill at a time. I suspect he's been doing so for years, but now that's between him and the law. We were court-ordered to take him for counseling, which in turn ordered him to psychiatric care, which in turn prescribed various psychotropic drugs, which we were required to provide him with or face charges of medical neglect. We were required to administer them to him on a daily basis, which became impossible, due to his size and strength, so, we would just hand him his daily pill. I highly suspect he wasn't taking them and selling them instead, but I had no control over that issue.
We just recently moved from our rental house into an apt. We made it clear he is NOT staying with us, bringing in his weird friends, smoking who knows what at all hours. When he gets high---which is most of the time-he gets violent. He's punched holes in the walls, knocked the front door off its hinges, put holes in interior doors, and DD has left a trail of damage, too, mainly makeup stains on carpet that can't be removed, along with broken windows, broken screens, etc while she slipped out with her BF. I wouldn't rent to them, why should I co-sign for them? then, they would feel they could do anything, not pay rent, and let Mom & Dad pick up the damages?
Surely there must be some hole for them to crawl into---couch surf, whatever.....how do people rent with poor/no credit, and history of destroying past dwellings? Maybe I could get DS on SEC 8, whatever that is, DD could contine to live with BF, hey, that seems to be what they want!
Rant over, let the flames begin!
I wouldn't in any case but with your description I rather run over my own testicles with my 1 ton truck than to sign a lease in your circumstance.
You would have to be completely out of your mind to cosign for them.
Maybe I could get DS on SEC 8, whatever that is.
This will never happen.
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