Where are the good neighbors? (move, friendly, community, states)

[NYJoe]

If you live in a town or city that takes pride in people being friendly and helpful neighbors, please let me know!! I have almost given up the hope that someday I can have neighbors who really care about each other. The culture we live in seems to filled up with apathetic, selfish people. Am I just being naive to hope for more?

[texdav]

I certainly have good neighbors. Maybe your just in a bad neighborhood which I also see here.

[livecontent]

Look where you live. Long Island is not the whole world, contrary to the opinion of many of the residents. Being an ex New Yorker; born in Queens; raised near Buffalo; educated in New York State; worked in NYC--I would say that Long Island is not the place that you use to judge the people of the whole US. Move away from Long Island and you will have a better chance of finding friendlier folks.

New Yorkers, as a whole, are what they are, good and bad. Metro New York City is not the friendliest place. Why fight it-try another place to live--even the rest of the State of New York, which is ignored and disparaged by the residents near NYC, has friendlier people. So go someplace else--I did and I livecontent.

[ljd1010]

We moved from the Northeast to NC just over 2 years ago. We've made more friends in the past couple of years than the previous 20 years in our former neighborhood. We went to the movies and dinner last week with next door neighbors and spent last evening at a barbecue with neighbors across the street. We live in an area where there are plenty of NY transplants with complaints similar to yours.

[kevxu]

I grew up in a small town where good neighbors were existed in abundance, but that was in far different times, and many of the town's residents had lived there for a couple of generations. And in everything you did during the day, you encountered neighbors whom you socialized with: food shopping was not done in massive impersonal caverous buildings, but in stores where there were an abundance of clerks, whom you knew, and where people chatted and visited as they shopped. Everything from buying shoes to filling a prescription meant dealing with someone you knew, and standing around chatting with other members of the community. And people walked....there were sidewalks in residential neighborhoods and people used them, people walked "uptown" to shop, kids walked to school, they walked home from football practice, etc. All these things tied people closer together day by day, every day.

People sat on their front porches, not hiding in backyards with fences around them. You moved back and forth across your town, and you knew your town and the people in a way perhaps not too different from the indigenous Australians with their "songlines."

Now we never walk...we drive, get out of the car, do our thing, and get back in the car and rush away in our private capsule. We see our towns like a tourist would see them, through a car window. We shop in huge impersonal stores, and we buy in quantity so we do not have to go back again soon. For most Americans there are very, very few of these personal contacts that used to fill our lives and reinforce our bonds with our neighbors. And we are always driving, driving, driving even around the corner.

People used to "drop in" on each other, "stop over"....casual, unannounced visits were not at all unusual. Now days these would are considered rude, an intrusion, if not a downright act of aggression. People always "have so much to do" and are on a constant race to get everything done. "I never have enough time!"

People now have to join something to feel like they belong in a community. It's pathetic. You used to get that simply by leaving the house and going "uptown."

That lifestyle, however, is defunct in large parts of the United States....we have created a society which really places more value on things such as convenience, privacy, etc.

[fay111]

Maybe I've just been lucky,but I've had great luck with good neighborhoods. The best was probably the house we lived in (Bergen County) while raising our kids - starter homes with lots of kids - a terrific neighborhood. We all watched out for each other's kids, had informal barbeques, block parties, etc. Our kids used to laugh that they couldn't get away with much,because if we didn't catch them a neighbor would!

We recently moved to western Jersey, and most people seem very friendly. We've already watered both our neighbors plants when they were away, and they'll do the same for us. One of my neighbors (who has young kids) told us to feel free to use their swings/jungle gym when our grandkids come to visit. Overall, I would say people are a bit friendlier here than in northern Jersey.

[Tek_Freek]

And neighborhoods change over time. When we first moved to our neighborhood (we built when it was just starting) it was a great place. If we came home from work and sat in our driveway it would fill with with neighbors in short order. Everyone would bring food and drink and we'd have a blast.

Now I don't want to know the people around me. If we sat in the driveway after work everyone would wonder what was wrong with us...

[Ellwood]

Moved to upstate NY when we retired and have fantastic neighbors. Met them all (within 3 miles) while I was training my puppy to walk on a leash.

We have free use of one's inground pool, especially for grandkids; they plow our driveway (400') when it snows and we are away; water our plants if we are away, helped dig 51 holes for a fence and cement the posts in.

When we lived in western NJ we knew a few neighbors, but only to say hello. Sometimes you have to take the first step.

[NYJoe]

You all make very good points. I have had some good neighbors in years past, but it seems that, as in life, one or two bad apples can spoil the barrel. My wife knows that I want to leave L.I. as soon as it is feasible. At that time, I will be posting like a maniac, trying to find the best place for us. Good neighbors looking for good neighbors!!!

[cl723]

Most neighborhoods that I`ve lived in, people keep to themselves. There has always been 1 or 2 neighbors who are friendly. The rest could care less. That`s most of our society today...