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Growing up this rule was drummed into me and everyone
else I know.
I notice in Asian countries and island countries elders
are revered and taken care of by their relatives. No one is put out to pasture.
What's happened to the younger generation?
So many rude and uncaring folk.
I have been having this conversation with my sisters. We are all Seniors now..several of us "Boomers" with grown children who can be rude, uncaring and don't want to be bothered with us. Problem is, this is not a new thing. I can recall be just as rude and uncaring to my Mom from time to time and she is gone now. No way for me to tell her how sorry I am for behaving badly. If God lets her come visit me from time to time...and I am sure he does...I am sure she knows how I feel. My son is 44 and his wife is 42..no kids. He acts like he is afraid that he is going to have to take care of me some day. One afternoon we were having a conversation about me and my old age years coming up. He came right out and told me that he couldn't have me living with them but would find me a good place to stay. My reaction? "Who in the fu%$#@k says I want to ever live with you let alone your wife??" then I said..."Don't EVER assume that I want to re-enter the world of having to cook and clean after you, be under your feet when you fight with your wife or feel like a third wheel. Try asking me what my plans are". Often times our children will assume that we are old, feeble minded and dependent on them. NOT TRUE. Heck, my 84 year old Mother In Law just had back surgery so she will be able to play golf this Spring. I have been keeping a journal for over 10 years now. My life has been a little upside down from time to time and part of it is my son and what he does. I made my husband promise that when I do get old and have to have care or perhaps meet my Maker that my husband be sure to give my son my journals. The boy is in for a rude awakening. Oh, by the way....My husband is 10 years younger than me so not all that worried about what becomes of me. Don't let the young folks get to you..they at times don't have a clue.
Isn't that a totally different situation and a totally different time.
But so is this "a totally different situation and a totally different time". Everything is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita
I am under the impression the OP is referring to how young people treat seniors. I don't see the connection.
I see Charles' point. Everyone views things, at least on the surface, from the perspective of what they're accustomed to expecting, rather than starting from the ground and building up a viable perspective that stands on its own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita
We all think those laws (and that is what they were, laws) were wrong, many who were not alive during those days probably still have trouble believing they existed. Those of us who remember are appalled, but that is still not the same as kids not respecting their elders; both are bad, but are very different.
Yes, of course, but the point is that things change. Some things which we considered normal have become offensive. Some things which we considered virtuous have lost their priority. Some things that once we owed to only a select few (the king, the gentry, the elderly) are now owed equally to all. The "problem" is not that elders are no longer respected by youth, but rather that our society has institutionalized self-centeredness and lack of regard for "other" people, whether they be foreigners, some other ethic group, poor people, or the elderly. The elderly aren't being singled out for marginalization.
Elders need to earn respect just like every other age group. If you're crotchety, mean and can only talk about yourself then I don't care how old you are, you barely have my tolerance, let alone respect. Be nice, embrace each day, treat children with respect for the grown-up they will be someday, and you will get respect back.
The Golden Rule (or the principle of reciprocity) is actually a matter of being motivated to treat others as you would have them treat you. In the context of getting older, it means respecting children and younger people as you would have them respect you, as well as children and younger people respecting elders as much as they would have the elders treat them. It doesn't place any group above the other. It doesn't establish an entitlement for us older people. It establishes a path for mutual respect, even-handedness, empathy, responding to a positive action with another positive action, rewarding kind actions.
I agree. there are always some bad apples who prey on older
people; see them as easy victims. If they had learned respect,
this wouldn't happen.
Elders need to earn respect just like every other age group. If you're crotchety, mean and can only talk about yourself then I don't care how old you are, you barely have my tolerance, let alone respect. Be nice, embrace each day, treat children with respect for the grown-up they will be someday, and you will get respect back.
There is alot more to it than that, One has to restrict child with displend in hope that they later growup with self displend and realise what you did. I thing what you d said works both ways i that child have to be willig to learn .Its not a problem with ewither all parents or all children raised. Reepct alos works tweo ways and i see alot to not respect o both sides these days.I think the numbers of people raising their grand chilren these days shows the problem of irresponsibilty of mnay these days.
While growing up, I was curious and interested in what 'life was like back then' for my elders while they were growing up. I really enjoyed listening to the stories of their lives and how it differed from my growing up years.
I find that many younger folks today have absolutely no interest in anyone who was born before they were; and according to them, life must have been a total bore 'back then'.
I believe that respect goes both ways; I was taught to respect my elders, as well as respecting anyone. But I was also taught to not let people 'walk all over me', and to have self-respect.
There is alot more to it than that, One has to restrict child with displend in hope that they later growup with self displend and realise what you did. I thing what you d said works both ways i that child have to be willig to learn .Its not a problem with ewither all parents or all children raised. Reepct alos works tweo ways and i see alot to not respect o both sides these days.I think the numbers of people raising their grand chilren these days shows the problem of irresponsibilty of mnay these days.
The world used to change at a glacial pace, and older people's experience was more valuable to young people than it is today. That doesn't mean we shouldn't treat older people politely, but it does mean that their input and advice isn't necessarily as pertinent in today's world as it was, say, 100 years ago. I dearly loved my elderly aunt who died at age 95 in 2001, but she was completely baffled by modern technology even though she was very sharp mentally right up to the end. For someone to spend their childhood without a telephone, television, antibiotics, vaccines, and living with racist and sexist attitudes, etc. to go from that to laptop computers, modern medicine, live through several major wars and advances in civil rights and gender equality, is a lot of change to adapt to. Many older people simply stay stuck in the past because it's more comfortable for them, even though some of those traits make them rather unpleasant people to the younger generation who's grown up in an entirely different world - one more different from their elders' than at any time in history.
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