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I love all the men trying to convince the woman to stay to take care of the guy, after he ABSOLUTELY REFUSES DO DO A SINGLE THING FOR HIMSELF.
Not to mention being a methadone user for at least eight years.
Thanks, fellas! Very helpful.
Well, I don't love your negative, holier than thou approach to almost everything. Helpful about anything you're not. So sorry you don't like men, Sweetie!
His health is ok has some kidney issues. He Does get on my nerves big time. He is on a lot of meds for his heart,etc. I am seeing a therapist. Have been to her twice and it helps. But he is the kind of person that if he is cutting a piece of paper with scissors he will cut himself. he pours a cup of coffee and doesn't pay any attention to the level of the coffee so there it goes some on the floor. I will usually just carry it for him. He sounds like an old man but he is only 65. He has had depression all his life, that's not new. See where I'm coming from. If I could just keep him in a safe bubble I would be fine. I do love him. I don't know.......he tells me things that he THINKS get on my nerves like his hat hanging up somewhere. He'll say, i'll move my hat I know it's getting on your nerves. For the love of God. I'll clean off my stuff from the table I know it bugs you being there. Well, no it doesn't................SEE helpme please..[/quote]
Lady, you sound like you are doing a good job taking care of an ageing spouse. For that I commend you. He's obviously failing healthwise. So, now you want to dump him. As long as you've been married, my guess is you took some kind of vow to him, in front of God and everyone to be faithful unto death. Doesn't your vow mean anything? Marriage vows are not conditional. "I'll stay with you till the going gets rough". I think you should keep the promises you made many years ago.
However, a vacation now and again is a great idea. Who doesn't need a vacation from time to time. It doesn't sound like your husband is ready for the nursing home. I'll bet he can take care of himself for a week at a time.[/quote]
She was a baby when she married him. She gets a pass on the vow thingee.
Has anyone just up and left his or her spouse after years of being married ? I don't want to go into a long long story. Just please let me know what you did and how you made it money wise....
IMHO it's better to be struggling alone than to be miserable as a couple; however it takes confidence, inner strength and money to be on one's own nowadays.
Last edited by ConeyIsBabe; 11-19-2013 at 05:35 PM..
I think you definitely need occasional vacations from your spouse, elderly, healthy, or not. Take limited time away on a regular basis, volunteering or at a job or just participating in a hobby. I think he will be able to be more independent if you do. Then take a long weekend or a week away maybe twice a year to give yourself time to recharge your caregiving batteries. There are respite workers who can come in if he needs serious caregiving, or enlist a friend, or two, to drop by every day or so while you're out of town if he's more capable of taking care of himself. You deserve your ME time, but it doesn't mean you have to get a divorce. It sounds like you have caregiver burnout. Please take care of yourself, then you can take care of him with what's left over, and not the other way around.
For those who may be interested in a continuation of this thread, one can be found in the Mental Health sub-forum of the Health and Wellness Forum. The title of the thread is "Psychotic Depression" and it is by the same OP.
it very rough and scary at first. i was all set to be a nobody but happily married.
then she got bored and turned into a spend thrift. she divorced big fat settlement debt. then i got scared got busy worked hard, got rich and then retired. then she died.
so u see the prince lived happily ever after, without her. he would have preferred to do it with her, but that is not what she had in mind.
I had told you about my husband and his health problems. There are 3 new ones to add we just found out. OCD, Enlarged liver not from drinking, and low testosterone. Low Test can make you depressed and cause anxiety. We are going Friday and let our PCP know these results. I think he has all but given up. Want no pity here but it is killing me. Now he is saying he may not go. I want a separation from him and let him make his own decisions about his life so I won't know what the outcome will be. Selfish ?? Too bad. I am at that point. Someone please help
I had told you about my husband and his health problems. There are 3 new ones to add we just found out. OCD, Enlarged liver not from drinking, and low testosterone. Low Test can make you depressed and cause anxiety. We are going Friday and let our PCP know these results. I think he has all but given up. Want no pity here but it is killing me. Now he is saying he may not go. I want a separation from him and let him make his own decisions about his life so I won't know what the outcome will be. Selfish ?? Too bad. I am at that point. Someone please help
Only you can help yourself. Make an appointment with a therapist and an attorney. In that order.
Only you can help yourself. Make an appointment with a therapist and an attorney. In that order.
Ok, I'm done, While he is at his sisters this week I am going to find out some things forMMMMMEEEEE
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Update on caregiver burnout
