Moving Back to Childhood Home Town for Retirement (55, beach, 2013)

[Chaffeetrekker]

I grew up happily in a fairly big city in New Jersey and left for good when I was 25.....I went to my 50 year High School reunion a while back.....The next day I drove thru my old neighborhood (WHAT WAS LEFT OF IT) and heard gunfire....I felt very unsafe....
I retired from my job in Texas 20 years ago and moved to a small town in the Rocky Mountains. I hear gunfire here mostly during hunting season. However, I feel very very safe.....

I guess it all depends on where you grew up to be the determining factor if you would retire back to that area....

[BeauCharles]

Sorry to hear that about the neighborhoods you grew up in. Fortunately, Oakdale CA is better now that it was when I was a kid (more prosperous). I did a Google of my old house and its been added on to and the yard looks much better than when we lived there. Only snag is that real estate is about 50% higher than the slightly ratty town I currently live in so replacing my home would be a bit of a stretch (but probably doable).

[Keeper]

I agree with Chaffeetrekker. I went back for my 50th reunion and was saddened when I went by the house I grew up in. I was told that everyplace I lived was not a place I wanted to go even during the day. I met up with several friends and i loved seeing everyone again but they are all friends and have been for years. I left the area when I was 21 so it has changed a little bit.

[brightdoglover]

I grew up in what became a leafy decent post-war suburb. It is now a jam-packed traffic/strip mall nightmare interspersed with tasteless huge houses and the leafy green subdivisions. Even when growing up, the rampant development made me crazy as any signs of life before 1957 disappeared, the rural areas gone. The few times I've been back have been very stressful. I would never ever see living there again. Once my aunt is gone, I won't be back at all.

[Meemur]

I strongly recommend spending some time there before you try to move back.

I've never really wanted to move back to Ann Arbor, but I had to return for most of a summer to settle my father's estate. That cured me of any desire to move back. I don't even like to visit these days.

And that's just me. Lots of people like it. I'm in Des Moines, now. It reminds me a lot of some of the things I like about Michigan with zero ghosts (bad memories, not wayward spirits).

[Jukesgrrl]

Very few towns/cities/even rural areas stay the same through 40+ years. Some get better, some get worse.

Even the definition of what constitutes a good place to live has changed. You certainly didn't need WiFi or cable TV when you were growing up. Would you want to live somewhere now that doesn't have it? Forty years ago people didn't eat out in restaurants very often and they certainly didn't sit in coffee bars reading C-D on their laptops. People today expect a variety of shopping and entertainment experiences that may or may not be in Oakdale. You were also busy with school and friends when you were a kid. What would you do in this town to fill those hours as an adult?

The only really pertinent question is: does this town you idealize meet the needs you have NOW for a home?

Perhaps it does. But if it doesn't, you can't live on nostalgia. Instead of going to Oakdale and revisiting your old haunts, I'd take a good hard look at it as if you've never been there before. Before you check it out, make a list of all the things you need to have a happy life in the coming years. Think about appropriate housing affordable to you, amenities, activities you would enjoy, attractive scenery, quality of infrastructure, medical care. Does it have a church or clubs you would join? Does it have opportunities for sports or hobbies you enjoy? Is it accessible to people you would want to visit you? What's the crime level like? There were no drugs in the town I grew up in; when my mother moved 40 years later, two of her neighbors had kids who were addicts and dealers. Your idea of what is good weather could even have changed since you were 14. You might have developed weird quirks that you would like to have met. I, for example, would not want to live somewhere where I couldn't get a decent bagel. That is a need I developed long after I was 14.

If Oakdale really does have what you need, great. Think about it as a retirement possibility. If it doesn't, your memories aren't going to be enough to make up for that.

[smpliving]

I grew up in a small ranch/agricultural town in southern California that has become one of the most expensive cities in the state. It's nothing like I remember back in my childhood and much too crowded now, although a very nicely planned master community. Where I live now, in the second largest city in Iowa, reminds me of the wide open spaces I once enjoyed as a child, and down to earth people.

[Lost Roses]

I have to agree with Rational1 and Thomas Wolfe - "You can't go home again."
Now if somebody left me a big gorgeous house in their will and I still had family and friends there, I might consider it.

[don1945]

After my divorce I had this burning desire to go back to the small town in Pa where I grew up. Even called my old GF and thought about seeing her again, but I didn't do it. But a few years later I did go back there and spent some time driving around the area and taking a trip back in time. It was, for the most part, pretty disappointing.

First of all, everything looked so small. My old house, the streets, everything, was just so much smaller than I remembered. Secondly, I have changed over the years and had little in common with the people back there. It was a place where I once felt so comfortable, but now I felt like a total stranger.

They say you can never go back home again, and in my case it was true. I couldn't wait to get back to Florida again.

Don

[Sminthian]

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can't go home again"? It's very true. You might want to just rent an apartment for a few months and see if you like it.
It's not going to be anything like you remember. And you're probably just going to be disappointed.