Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So people really shut down their lives between age 30 and 50? That's certainly not how I ever lived my life. I've always been fairly high income and an overachiever at my job but the job was always an enabler to fund my lifestyle.
Some of us have come to the conclusion that a lot of what is considered a nice lifestyle is actually superfluous to living a happy life. When you have an above average income and you take the money that is funding the lifestyle fluff and you invest it, you find that you have the option of leaving paid employment at a pretty young age. It gives you the option to do stuff you never dreamed possible. The "nice lifestyle" stuff ends up looking more like a pleasant distraction designed to keep you trapped in a golden cage.
Some of us have come to the conclusion that a lot of what is considered a nice lifestyle is actually superfluous to living a happy life. When you have an above average income and you take the money that is funding the lifestyle fluff and you invest it, you find that you have the option of leaving paid employment at a pretty young age. It gives you the option to do stuff you never dreamed possible. The "nice lifestyle" stuff ends up looking more like a pleasant distraction designed to keep you trapped in a golden cage.
I telecommute from a ski resort in the winter and on the ocean in the summer. Exactly what golden cage is this?
My BIL has been battling Parkinson's for 5 years. He is 65 and the oldest spouse of a sibling. There was 4 of us and then we have spouses all the way down to 50.
However, 15 years ago, I would have told you he would have been the last. He ate healthy and exercised before it was the rage to do so. Tough guy.
Just got the call tonight that Hospice has stepped in and we've spent 30 years together.
You just never know but he is the first one of "our group" to go. We all got married from 1982 to 1986 and between the 4 of us had 12 children some of whom are now married.
So yes, reality hit tonight.
Other than family, he and my sister had many good friends all of whom have been a comfort during the past 5 years. He has been very strong, never complained and a role model for others.
There is no question that I have had to work too hard in my life. I have delayed a lot of things for myself and have a lot of missed opportunities.
So, yes, reality is here! It is an "Oh, snap" moment!
Sorry for your pain, but yes, that is a wake-up time. Happens when you realize life is not guaranteed pain free & /or lasting. Be there for him & your sister but recognize the time is to start making plans for your retirement.
At what age or point in your life did it hit that it's time to start living? Everyday as we go out in the world we see young vibrant people and old people. Once we were young and now on the fast track to old. Hey with all things being as they should many will reach old age which brings along old age issues. Which is why I just don't get it when people look to retire in upper ages. Instead of a retirement date why not a freedom date? Work if you want to.
To me it's age 55. I'm sure many of us remember when 55 was the looked upon retirement age. Well now for many the retirement age is when health issues take people out of the work force or death. Here is something an old dude once told me that I never forgot. Once you have more years behind you than you have in front of you it's time to start living. He said middle age when looking at averages is about age 35. Looking at 55 is my oh snap moment. Next is 60, then 70, and past 70 only God knows.
Reality check. Maybe on average 15 years left on the planet? Wow. Time to start dating 25 year-olds.
I agree with others who find the original post sad! First, many of us enjoyed fulfilling lives during our working years, not waiting to retire in a desperate, pathetic way. Second, many of us also actually enjoyed our careers. I know I reminded myself frequently in my last year of work to stop and sense what various parts of my workday were like because soon enough they'd just be memories.
And, finally, I guess the OP's last sentence was meant to be humorous, but it strikes me only as infantile: what vibrant 25-year-old would have any interest at all in someone 2X or 3X her/his age?
And, finally, I guess the OP's last sentence was meant to be humorous, but it strikes me only as infantile: what vibrant 25-year-old would have any interest at all in someone 2X or 3X her/his age?
I can answer that question. Any vibrant 25-year-old with dollar signs in her eyes could conceivably have an interest in an older man of means. 25-year-old girl marries well fixed 65-year-old man and lives well on his money for 20 years while they are still together, then when he dies at 85 she is only 45 and is fixed for life. What he gets out of it is a trophy wife who makes all the other guys jealous. Both profit.
I can answer that question. Any vibrant 25-year-old with dollar signs in her eyes could conceivably have an interest in an older man of means. 25-year-old girl marries well fixed 65-year-old man and lives well on his money for 20 years while they are still together, then when he dies at 85 she is only 45 and is fixed for life. What he gets out of it is a trophy wife who makes all the other guys jealous. Both profit.
Well anything's conceivable but that's a far-fetched scenario. I personally have never known a vibrant young woman with dollar signs in her eyes to that extent. I'll grant they exist here and there. Maybe it's a CA thing?
When I was a vibrant 25-year-old, I was head over heels in love with a 44-year-old. Our relationship lasted several years. Even so, 40s was pushing it, and I would have viewed any man in his 50s, much less his 60s, to be decrepit. Huge ick factor, I can't imagine how many dollars it would have taken to overcome that.
edit to add: Basically it's the difference between having a "father" complex, which is common and I likely had, and a "grandfather" complex. What vibrant young woman is willing to sleep with her grandfather?
What you describe was a common arrangement re civil war veterans around the turn of the 20th century. Both parties did profit. That was in the days when young women didn't have a chance at a job, much less a career. We've come a long way since then but obviously not nearly far enough.
Last edited by biscuitmom; 09-08-2015 at 01:37 AM..
People the post is basically about a ah ha moment. For everyone it's a different time in life. As for the 25yr old,, For those who can't see it you may want to get out more. LOL.. in life many people say things can't be done but yet some are doing it.
Youth keeps a person young and funds allow many options in life. And thens there's that mindset of some men. If it's about money use me until you use me up. Hey it's only money.
I get your point. But a lot of people find the world of paid employment to be limiting and unfulfilling and they want to get out of it as soon as possible. Of course, some people can make decent money doing work they love, but I think it's generally the exception and not the rule.
I get your point too, but even if we posit a "limiting and unfulfilling" job, one would hope people would have meaningful things to do outside of the workplace. Most people do not work seven days a week. In fact, the more limiting and unfulfilling the job is, the more important it would be to find hobbies or activities or something to look forward to eagerly so that one doesn't feel as if life begins at retirement.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The reality moment
