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If she has any money at all, might want to consult a lawyer to see if conditions such as you mention are enforceable. Might be a court would declare that thing about no overnight guests unreasonable.
I'm not sure what she has. Does not sound like much. I, again, don't want to be intrusive and will wait for her to let me know what's happening. Such a delicate balance between being a friend & being intrusive.
This story seems just a little too over the top for me. Except for the fact that I have a dear female friend in a somewhat similar situation in that she has been the live-in girlfriend of a divorced male for @20 years, no marriage, and this male is likely to pass away. Oh, and did I mention the adult daughters, and I believe, a family trust.
I wonder if this lady has some living relatives that may be able to help her? Some friends somewhere? It could be that her late boyfriend did not want her communicating with others, since he was a controlling person.
Something is not adding up. Who pays all the utilities? Who mows the grass? How is she eating? Does she drive a car? Who pays for that, and whose name is on the title?
Way back when I was younger, I remember a Hollywood "pal-i-money" case that drew a lot of public attention. If I remember right, the woman got some money. But back to this lady, just be careful. There are some people out there who are really good talkers and tell some juicy tales that are not true at all.
Maybe she really needs a friend, but I would do watch you're doing, and tread softly.
As far as I know, everyone over 65 who is an American national and who has no Social Security wages is eligible for Supplemental Security Insurance (SSI). https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-11000.pdf
Hollyhock, she has a daughter, who is the one I am friends with, who is struggling on her own. And Larry, yes, I thought there was something in place, but the woman is only 62. I was hoping I could tell her daughter that there was something in place.
And you're right, it doesn't add up & I am somewhat amazed she has opened up as much as she has, but, as I said, we've become friends. We just got to talking about how she came to be here, in this little town (me because my mother had grown up here & her because her mother had come with the boyfriend here & then convinced her daughter to come).
She, the daughter, works at the gas station/mini mart & when I don't feel like driving the 9 miles to the grocery stores, I stop in there. It's taken a long time for both of us to open up. The boyfriend, who she called her stepdad, as he & her mother had been together for so long, just died.
That's how this all started, because I told her that her mother should be entitled to widow' s benefits. She broke down and told me they hadn't been married.
I'm just trying to see if there is anything I can tell her to help the mom's situation. I did not want to give her hope for something because I had no clue. I'm personally a little flabbergasted because her mom let this go on for so long without some sort of written promise. The mom & I are the same age & I have a hard time with a woman doing something like that, especially for so long, especially in this day and age.
I think that she should look up displaced homemakers and that might give her some kind of idea of what kind of help is out there . There has got to be something out there .Many years ago I knew a young girl who was living with a fire fighter , sadly he passed on 9/11 and because they were not married she was entitled to nothing . His parents and family were a piece of work they put her , out of the house that he owned . I feel for women like this but I also encourage women to get something in writing if you are not married and for got sakes get it signed and notarized . I do believe that will stand up in court . I hope your friends mother will look up displaced homemakers and maybe that can help.
IMHO a lot of people think that they will be covered by having a "common law marriage" but I believe that only about nine states honor that. And, even in those states often something "proactive" needs to be done like registering with the courts while both parties are alive. Or the possible "benefits" are very limited.
I am so sorry for your friend's mother. Perhaps an organization for abused women may have some ideas of what she can do.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I can see additional problems, since she is staying in the house rent-free and there are heirs. What will happen if the house needs repairs, such as appliance failure, plumbing, roof or electrical, and she has no income? How will she pay for the utilities? It seems unlikely that the kids will pay for any of that under the circumstances, until she leaves and they get ready to cash in. She has only one option, getting a job as soon as possible, and that won't be easy with the lack of experience and age. The best thing you can do is to coach her on job applications and interviewing, and help look for jobs that require no experience. With no rent she could survive on minimum wage, but hopefully can do better in time, because when that 10 years is up rent will be even higher than now.
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