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Old 04-12-2017, 07:45 AM
 
31,683 posts, read 41,045,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
There is no commonly accepted definition, in my opinion. There are almost as many dreams as there are people.

One person's dream might be to be able to play golf almost every day of the year.
Another person's dream might be to travel a good portion of the time.
Another person's dream might be to sleep in every day and then sit on their porch the rest of the time.
Another person's dream might be to pursue a hobby rather intensely, and there are hundreds of hobbies.

That is by way of example, not limitation, as the list could be expanded quite a bit.
Yes, yes and a Bada Bing for you and jrlinky. Let me share what motivated me to start the thread. The other day on a week day I posted a picture of our breakfast for the day including steak I had grilled that morning. I had at last check about 60 likes for a breakfast pic including several comments about us living the dream. I even got into a brief discussion with a friend who lives on the West Coast and their very nice house is on the ocean. He commented living the dream and I said no you are the one living the dream when in reality we both are.

The likes and comments for a breakfast pic got me thinking about what is it that people seek in their retirement and causes them to respond in others. It is as you note a wide range of things. When I hear living the dream from neighbors it is at different times and reasons. Sometimes it is coming back from the beach or travel out of the country. At other times it is just being able to do nothing other than doing nothing in our nice yard etc etc on a beautiful day.

We all during our lives have a vision of our tomorrow and when we see folks actually living our vision of retirement it is their dream they are probably referring to. Many would love to take up the hobbies noted in this thread and when they see folks who have it is the dream. Many would love your volunteer work and being able to work with kids without the pressures and constraints of the modern education system.

There is a dollar cost for what ever we want to do in retirement and perhaps folks are best served getting a handle on the cost of their dream and not what others do or don't have. If someone needs a 100k for their retirement dream, wish them well. If they only need 30k wish them well. It is those who need 100k a year for their lifestyle and who only have 30k per year who may find their dream deferred.

Plan early and plan young and know yourself and seek your own dream as many responders in this thread have.
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Old 04-12-2017, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Paranoid State
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
A large number of people feel like they need to accomplish something most every day, and unless they have accomplished something daily, they feel unhappy and deflated.
Yes. That's why, during ski season, I attempt to ski a minimum of 12,000 vertical feet each day. Many days I hit 20,000 vertical feet.
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Old 04-15-2017, 05:19 AM
 
Location: Central CT, sometimes FL and NH.
4,538 posts, read 6,803,457 times
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Dreams are what keeps people moving forward whether, financial, physical, spiritual, self-fulfillment or inner peace. Maslow identified the highest level pursuits as self-actualization, finding one's purpose in life. Maslow recognized that many people do not get to this level for a variety of reasons. Those not fulfilling the most basic physiological, safety and belonging needs are often consumed in thought and motivation to survive. Many others are still working on fulfilling esteem issues. For many retirees who had been higher on the pyramid while working insufficient funds to meet basic needs for food, clothing, shelter and medical needs affects their inner pursuits.
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Old 04-15-2017, 06:05 AM
 
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Maslow applies to much of the differences of thought in this forum daily
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:09 AM
 
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According to Maslow, we need to be able to fulfill basic needs in order to move to the level of self actualization. Too bad Maslow never ready the City Data Retirement Forum. He would have realized that very few strive for the self actualization level even after meeting more basic needs. Instead they come to this forum trying to figure out how to keep busy, prevent boredom, kill time until they die. They hope to someone else will can tell them how to handle these issues. Not much of hint of self actualization.
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:39 AM
 
31,683 posts, read 41,045,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
According to Maslow, we need to be able to fulfill basic needs in order to move to the level of self actualization. Too bad Maslow never ready the City Data Retirement Forum. He would have realized that very few strive for the self actualization level even after meeting more basic needs. Instead they come to this forum trying to figure out how to keep busy, prevent boredom, kill time until they die. They hope to someone else will can tell them how to handle these issues. Not much of hint of self actualization.
In all fairness we don't know under what circumstances people are posting on here. With technology many of us are posting while sitting on a beach or riding in the car or sitting on our deck on a starry night. Yes sometimes while contemplating the meaning of it all on a starry night some of us might pause and respond to a post. City-Data can be a break from in addition to being a main event.
I believe I posted last night after getting home from seeing a excellent production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Songs were humming through my mind regardless of what I was doing. All during the show I was singing along with the performers (silently) however the man next to my wife was singing out loud. He had seen it performed eight time previously his wife said.

I use to teach Maslow and it is an ongoing process and for some retirement becomes the beginning of their effort to move up the hierarchy. Some are still struggling with levels one and two, food shelter and comfort and having been doing so through out their life. That could explain some of the resentment on here. Others during their working years already achieved levels one-four and self actualization becomes more about self and realizing our inner self and how we fit into our own life and not that of others who perceive us through our previous life.

For us breakfast becomes important and we have great ones almost daily and can create a great menu. That seems trivial but again I will share again what triggered me to start this thread. A week or so ago I posted a picture on Facebook of our breakfast which included a variety of foods including fruits, veggies, Salmon, Guacamole etc. I get over 60 likes including as I mentioned some comments about living the dream. I realized that for us and many others like us who knew our previous lives this was part of living the dream as it involved time and having it and using it for personal enjoyment. People respond that way to our garden pictures as they know that is important to us and we now have the time to enjoy and actually be home to see. They respond like that to beach pictures etc because they know and can tell the look of peace and inner contentment. self actualization is the application for us is the application of time to be able to do what our working years limited our ability to do.

One of the other things people respond so very positive to our pictures of kids all grown up working with great families and beautiful children (our grands). We knew a lot of people and a lot of their kids for many reasons. Our kids can be our greatest self-actualization as so much of our lives were spent guiding them through the four stages and now they have realized their own pursuit of level five.

Remember Self Actualization is Self actualization and realization thru our sense of being and not others. That can be a big change in retirement as we hopefully get to be who we want to be. Unfortunately many of our fellow seniors are struggling with levels one and two.

In summary I judge folks lives not by what they post on here because it is such a very incomplete picture. Also how fast do they type?

P.S. before anyone judges my day or lifestyle from the fact I am postiing early on here let me share that the wife is preparing our usual great breakfast after which we are heading to the beach for a week of bonding with Mother Nature and her magnificent ocean.
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Old 04-15-2017, 07:43 AM
 
31,683 posts, read 41,045,989 times
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Who is this Maslow guy?
https://simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Quote:
This five stage model can be divided into deficiency needs and growth needs. The first four levels are often referred to as deficiency needs (D-needs), and the top level is known as growth or being needs (B-needs).
The deficiency needs are said to motivate people when they are unmet. Also, the need to fulfil such needs will become stronger the longer the duration they are denied. For example, the longer a person goes without food, the more hungry they will become.
One must satisfy lower level deficit needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs. When a deficit need has been satisfied it will go away, and our activities become habitually directed towards meeting the next set of needs that we have yet to satisfy. These then become our salient needs. However, growth needs continue to be felt and may even become stronger once they have been engaged. Once these growth needs have been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach the highest level called self-actualization.
Every person is capable and has the desire to move up the hierarchy toward a level of self-actualization. Unfortunately, progress is often disrupted by a failure to meet lower level needs. Life experiences, including divorce and loss of a job may cause an individual to fluctuate between levels of the hierarchy. Therefore, not everyone will move through the hierarchy in a uni-directional manner but may move back and forth between the different types of needs.
Maslow noted only one in a hundred people become fully self-actualized because our society rewards motivation primarily based on esteem, love and other social needs.
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Old 04-15-2017, 02:02 PM
 
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"One must satisfy lower level deficit needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs. When a deficit need has been satisfied it will go away, and our activities become habitually directed towards meeting the next set of needs that we have yet to satisfy."


Again, Maslow would have a different opinion if he read this forum. The idea of progressing or moving upwards seems to be all but dead here.
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Old 04-15-2017, 03:33 PM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,763,707 times
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Well there is a D in CD. It could be dead, disfunctional, depressing, etc.
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Old 04-15-2017, 03:57 PM
 
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Or maybe the C just stands for contented.
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