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The OP's teacher friend doesn't even need to leave Tennessee. The Nashville 'burbs south of the city are as educated and affluent as left coast/right coast places. It still has the big church thing but you're not going to get creationism in the schools, most people think climate change is real, and you wouldn't be a social outcast having a Bernie bumper sticker on your car. With what's happening with real estate prices, the guy probably missed his window to buy into the better 'burbs on a public teacher salary but it's not like a school teacher can afford housing in metro Boston or Fairfield County, either.
No but who cares, I'm having too much fun playing bridge. I know it has nothing with this thread but how is this thread relevant to retirement. At least playing bridge at the senior center is more relevant.
Serious Conversation, forgive me if this sounds impolite, but your posts are becoming predictable in their formula. You cite a scenario and then pose "searching" questions to kick off a discussion by frequently starting threads.
I realize that you are a young man who enjoys starting discussion threads and certainly this board is closed to no one except at the moderator's behest but I do hope that you have a fulfilled social life and enjoy activities with your peers also.
T he net did not exist as a social option when I was your age but if if had, I believe I would have been way too busy to engage in virtual conversation and interaction; I should have been engaging with real friends and grading papers! I believe that you once mentioned that you have a lot of downtime at your job and perhaps you are a bit bored. I think you may have changed jobs since then though so this comment may not apply.
But best wishes to you and sincere good wishes for success and happiness in your future.
I ran across something interesting tonight that I hadn't really thought about much, and thought I would pitch it out here for discussion considering it's really about criticizing/hating your early life.
A man my age, who also went to the same public schools with me here in Tennessee, responded to a meme a mutual friend posted about the "earth healing itself" with "maybe that's why us impoverished East Tennesseans are so spiritual." It was done in a condescending way.
Maybe he meant nothing by it, but I found the comment tacky. He is mostly friends on Facebook with fellow locals, many of whom are very religious. A statement like this will offend many locals. He is a forthright, atheist Democrat, in an area full of religious Republicans. He is also a public school teacher (though his Facebook first/last name is not close to his real name, obviously he tries to hide his real identity) and by design, a somewhat public figure.
We were close as high school classmates, but grew up and and sometimes come closer together, then drew apart over the years, repeated a few times. We aren't best friends but not casual acquaintances.
Over the years, he's made eminently clear his hatred for his growing up here. His hatred of the same county Baptist church we both attended. His hatred of our high school and its teachers. His hatred for the local economy, necessitating a second degree and career retraining (from pure science to teaching) in his mid-20s. His hatred for his parents, who, to be fair, have been arrested multiple times for domestic issues. His hatred for his current circumstances, though he's now engaged to a gorgeous local woman. His hatred for local politics, though he dares not pack his bags for states like IL, MA, NY, CT, etc., that are far more in line with his views.
Personally, I don't think he is technically wrong about a lot of his criticisms, but if you're that damn dissatisfied, move somewhere more in tune with your views. When things were going to pieces for me, I packed my bags and took the next train toward opportunity from down here in Tennessee toward the prosperity in New England and the Midwest.
As you age, do you feel that you seethe, brood even, over past events and real or merely perceived slights? Do you look at earlier stages your life with resentment, or even hatred? Do you hold and maintain those bitter grudges as a senior? Do you look back on your childhood or early adulthood, and can't let the wrongs of the past go, even though you may have had no control over the situation?
Never. IMO if we learn anything as we get older, it's that holding on to resentment, frustration, or any other negative feelings about our distant past only hurts us and is counterproductive.
In fact I have to look at the experiences of my childhood, and even young adulthood as a learning experience. The lessons learned;1) that I'm nobody special and entitled to no special privileges, 2) that neither this world nor anyone in it owes me a darn thing, and 3) I have only myself to depend on to accomplish any goals I set for myself, have set me in good stead to do well in this world.
Once you turn 18, you don't get to blame your parents or anyone else for your own decisions. So, if you're miserable, or whatever, get over it or get counseling. But, other grown-ups don't want to hear your excuses.
I carry "regrets" since I did harm to others either socially or personally. My wish to not repeat that behavior has kept my disdain in check.
Sure there are "behaviors" or "events" that a person should not endure....Being abused is not a welcoming memory...
Do I seethe over them? Sometimes.
I acknowledge the reality that it occurred and that I cannot "undo" those moments.
My kin got out of dodge ( our hometown so to speak) and often reflect on the "closed" mindedness of the community. I tend to agree with that summation. ANd have much regard for them expanding their minds and life experiences.
I do hope to not be bitter as I age....Life is too short ...and I have much to achieve....
As you age, do you feel that you seethe, brood even, over past events and real or merely perceived slights?
No
Quote:
Do you look at earlier stages your life with resentment, or even hatred?
No
Quote:
Do you hold and maintain those bitter grudges as a senior?
No
Quote:
Do you look back on your childhood or early adulthood, and can't let the wrongs of the past go, even though you may have had no control over the situation?
As I age, I find that negativity is the most poisonous attitude on earth. I have been blessed in a million ways. I have also had some unfortunate experiences. So what.
Son, feeling hatred all day is no way to go through life.
If your friend feels antipathy toward his fellow neighbors whom do not share his political or religious beliefs, it must create anxiety for him.
He ought to move to a location more in alignment with his attitudes.
Personally, I make it a point to never discuss either religion or politics. Both topics can turn friendly people into angry people. Life is too short for that.
This is a very interesting thread. I support the OP asking piercing questions like this, which should be bringing out the stories of those who realize their past is interfering with their present. Those who say heck no not me are missing the point, and missing the opportunity to be compassionate. And those who do feel cheated by their youth may go back and look at their past differently just by sharing their histories.
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