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So a concern that seems to weigh heavily on my mind and I suspect many have thought of but......
Have any of you thought about retiring to an area / community where you have no family and thought of what would happen to your spouse after you pass away?
My parents retired to Century Village - Boca Raton in 1982. My father passed away 2 years later! My mother to this day now being 90 was thankful she lived in a 55 plus community as she developed a network of friends there that offered her support and many activities all within a community.
So I think of this and my wife seems very receptive to the idea of such a community. I on the other hand envision a home in the mountains and near a smaller town. Then again I think of her being alone and basically having very few neighbor friends if any only to most likely sell.
Have any of you thought of this when planning your retirement and again for those away from family.....
Well I didn't think of it before moving to my community, but after living here 4 years, I can see where it would be an advantage. It's hard to make new friends in many areas. Retirement communities, on the other hand, are based on the premise that being near others with similar wants, needs, and interests will help make friendships. With all the clubs and social activities, it's easy to make friends in a short time.
In the last 2 years, 3 of our new friends have passed away. One literally in front of us. It is so wonderful to see the community take care of the spouses in their time of need. The surviving spouses had numerous out of town relatives descend on them for the funeral, and neighbors and friends took turns supplying food and help to the bereaved, to relieve the stress of feeding all those people in their homes while trying to deal with the greatest loss of their lives. In addition, they have lots of people to invite them places and help them move forward as a solo after the hordes of relatives have gone. There are things to do and places to go to keep the loneliness at bay. Some may eventually move back to be with their kids/grands, but in the immediate aftermath it's nice to have people willing to step in for your family and help you get through it.
This was a big consideration for where we moved in FL. We were up in NJ and going to retire. We could have stayed there, but without work, there wasn't anything to do. We're more summer outdoor type people, stayed inside in the winter. And it was expensive.
When we started look in FL, we looked at planned communities. Instead of buying another place in a neighborhood, I figured we would have a pool and clubhouse where we could meet people and develop friends. I'm not saying you couldn't do that in a non planned community, but you'd have to search out activities and facilities. In the afternoon, I just bike down to the pool sometimes and see who's there.
I'm not in a 55+. There are some communities that have families, retirees, and snowbirds, so it's not so weird being only with retirees.
I would think it would be better to live where you want to retire, then leave it up to her to decide where she wants to live after you are gone, If you happen to go first.
So a concern that seems to weigh heavily on my mind and I suspect many have thought of but......
Have any of you thought about retiring to an area / community where you have no family and thought of what would happen to your spouse after you pass away?
My parents retired to Century Village - Boca Raton in 1982. My father passed away 2 years later! My mother to this day now being 90 was thankful she lived in a 55 plus community as she developed a network of friends there that offered her support and many activities all within a community.
So I think of this and my wife seems very receptive to the idea of such a community. I on the other hand envision a home in the mountains and near a smaller town. Then again I think of her being alone and basically having very few neighbor friends if any only to most likely sell.
Have any of you thought of this when planning your retirement and again for those away from family.....
Look forward to your opinions.
We live in the mountains near a small town. Been here 15 years and plan to die here. We have friends, community connection, church family. If either were to die first the other we be as ok as could be expected with support from friends and other resources. What matters is getting connected. It might be better in a 55 and over retirement community, but not a whole different. It depends on the mountain community. Ours is a retirement destination. We live 9 miles from town, but in town are a number of over 55 small developments. I think I'd go crazy living in a retirement community. I like living in a real town. Plus there is so much to do here for seniors. And I like the interaction with people of all ages. Old people get respect where I live.
I wouldn't base my life on a what if mindset. Make your retirement life based on your dreams, not on your fears.
So a concern that seems to weigh heavily on my mind and I suspect many have thought of but......
Have any of you thought about retiring to an area / community where you have no family and thought of what would happen to your spouse after you pass away?
My parents retired to Century Village - Boca Raton in 1982. My father passed away 2 years later! My mother to this day now being 90 was thankful she lived in a 55 plus community as she developed a network of friends there that offered her support and many activities all within a community.
So I think of this and my wife seems very receptive to the idea of such a community. I on the other hand envision a home in the mountains and near a smaller town. Then again I think of her being alone and basically having very few neighbor friends if any only to most likely sell.
Have any of you thought of this when planning your retirement and again for those away from family.....
Look forward to your opinions.
I always thought we would retire to the beach, the mountains or somewhere all exciting but in the end we moved back home to central Ohio of all places.
It might not have everything important to me but it does have everything that is important to my wife and she has always come first in my life. She has children, grand children, brothers, sisters and even her 90 year old mother who is still with us all within 50 miles of our condo we purchased in March.
In my heart of hearts I know she would have moved to wherever I wanted but if something happened to me, it likely will since I am male and a couple years older, she would immediately dump wherever she was living to move back near family and support.
I can live happily anywhere in this world as long as my wife is happy.
Our condo community isn't restricted to the over 55 crowd but if I had to put a number on it my conservative guess would be 85% of the residents are > 55 and more than half are retired. We have a swimming pool (grandchildren just love to come see grandma and grandpa especially in the summer) and a private pond that you can see from our three seasons room which is a screened in patio with sliding glass doors.
I love having my morning coffee in the three seasons room with all the glass open... fresh air without the bugs... do different from Georgia.
They're quad units with half having an upstairs loft which we have. It's my wife's hobby lobby room. Already there just three months and my wife knows about 20 people her age and they run around together having fun. Guys, you know it's easy; happy wife = happy husband.
Happy husband is knowing the place is really kept up and I will never again have to touch a yard tool of any sort. I am happy with that.
If something happens to me my daughter can be there in less than eight minutes.. that is important she'll have lots of support when something happens.
The condo unit is gated and I can tell from experience everyone watches out for everyone else so I feel confident my wife would be safe if I wasn't around.
Also very close to very good doctors and world class hospitals should we need one.
So much for retirement on the beach.... when it snows I just won't go anywhere unless we take a week or two off to see Florida which will happen.
So a concern that seems to weigh heavily on my mind and I suspect many have thought of but......
Have any of you thought about retiring to an area / community where you have no family and thought of what would happen to your spouse after you pass away?
My parents retired to Century Village - Boca Raton in 1982. My father passed away 2 years later! My mother to this day now being 90 was thankful she lived in a 55 plus community as she developed a network of friends there that offered her support and many activities all within a community.
So I think of this and my wife seems very receptive to the idea of such a community. I on the other hand envision a home in the mountains and near a smaller town. Then again I think of her being alone and basically having very few neighbor friends if any only to most likely sell.
Have any of you thought of this when planning your retirement and again for those away from family.....
Look forward to your opinions.
You saw your mother's lifestyle and your wife likes the idea of a 55+. So why would you want to live in the mountains? Small towns are lacking in healthcare and amenities. When you get old you need other people.
I moved to a 55+ away from family, 2000 miles away. Best thing I ever did. It has to be the right 55+ though. It has to be near a large city, an airport, and everything you think you may need. I have all of that. You also need a fair amount of people so you have lots of stuff to do. We have about 39,000.
Some of my older neighbors now have their children living here. Some people are 3rd generation living in the same house or condo their grandparents bought.
In my condo association, one of 386, the people are (mostly) good friendly people ready to help when help is needed. I have never seen a case where someone tried to take advantage of someone's help or generosity. I never expected it to be this good!
As I mentioned earlier family can move here when they are 55 so the distance may only be temporary. We have had many that came to visit and ended up buying or will be when they age in.
The problem I see is what you wanted is nothing like this. Being on a mountain with few if any people around is as far from this as can be.
We have 3 adult children and 4 grandchildren and more on the way. They have gone their own directions as many do these days. The younger generation is very fluid in my opinion especially with their careers.
So we are searching 55 plus communities in warmer climates as after 60 years of northern climates between having lived in New York, Seattle and Idaho I am done.
Its important for me to have a god VA Medical Center and I am very fortunate to have one here in Boise (Rated 5 star!).
AZ VA medical centers are poor along with many others (research VA Medical Center star ratings). Only 2 4 and 5 star ones in warmer climates at Asheville, NC and Charleston, SC but not a fan of humidity.
Now back to the subject at hand, I remember after my father passed away her telling me that she experienced that the friends they had (couples) the women pushed the friendship away with her as they didn't want a new single woman around their husbands!!! So she migrated to other widowers in her 55 plus community and there were avenues for her to do so.
Excuse my ignorance relating to this matter but I suspect it to be very true. So those who do not live in 55 plus communities I would think it would just be more difficult to connect in this situation and also in my mind (correct me if I am wrong) beside all the clubs my wife would partake she would have many other widowers that connect easier by living in the same community.
Do I stand corrected and thank you for all the input.
I think an over 55 community is a good choice. You should be able to find one in the mountains.
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