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I got an email yesterday that had this saying in it:
"If you want to make the world a better place go home and love your family."
So many of us these days label our families as "toxic" and then to compensate go out to save strangers. Healing the problem at home is probably the most difficult of all and probably would be the most effective!
I am driving through downtown and off the side of the four lane, 40 MPH zone, I noticed an older lady sitting on the sidewalk surrounded by bags that were obviously personal belongings. It looked to me like it was everything she owned.
She was far enough off where she didn't appear to be pan handling.
About a quarter mile down the road I knew I couldn't just drive on... I went around the block, gave her $10 and wished a merry Christmas. When I pulled up she asked if I was law enforcement or any "agency" to which I answered no. This is when I noticed the cup and a sign saying "Displaced".
Normally I don't cave to pan handlers because most are young enough they should be working and if they aren't working but pan handling they ain't gonna get a dime from me. I worked my whole life and they can too but this lady looked to be 70 years old. Talk about rough. When she talked her teeth, or what was left of them, were hideous and I couldn't help but wonder what happened in her life to have her end up on the street wearing dirty clothes with nothing. While she looked every bit of 70 to me she might have been 50 just looked 70 from a very hard life. It's chilly out and I wonder what she will do when it gets a little colder?
Mental illness maybe? If she was 70 I am sure she could get some help from somewhere just by asking for it. Her teeth burned an image in my mind; she had about half of them and the few she had... wow, just wow.
It just bothers me to see something like this and wonder if I could have done more.
I think what you did was compassionate and sufficient. I can see myself in her situation. She did not want "help" as some have suggested since she asked if you were the law or an agency.
I think if we all did whatever small thing we could do at the moment for our fellow man, the world would be a much better place. I will follow your example when I see the opportunity.
In some cases giving them money for drugs, alcohol, or tobacco is the right thing to do. Let them have a little enjoyment. That is the only thing many have to live for.
That is a philosophical issue. I do not agree. By subsidizing those habits, you are helping them destroy their health.
Several weeks ago I had a business thing in another city. It was a cold, extremely windy, day.
While driving to find the venue, I saw three, very frail, elderly ladies pushing shopping carts. It absolutely broke my heart.
That has been my biggest fear all my life -- being an elderly bag lady in a place where it is freezing cold.
I didn't know what to do -- the ladies were all separate and far from the street. None were panhandling, just slowly pushing their shopping cars along, fighting the wind.
In some cases giving them money for drugs, alcohol, or tobacco is the right thing to do. Let them have a little enjoyment. That is the only thing many have to live for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider
That is a philosophical issue. I do not agree. By subsidizing those habits, you are helping them destroy their health.
I give to any panhandler who approaches me personally and asks. But never to the fellow holding the sign. It is sort of thing between me and God. (Fortunately I am not personally asked more than once a month.) What that person does with the money is not my concern. My concern is to give to the less fortunate. Most don't use the money for drugs or alcohol
I have a small story. A few years back I was approached by a beggar in the parking lot at work. She asked for a dollar and I gave her a dollar. I was delayed in leaving by 30-45 seconds. As I was driving down the highway I saw this huge cloud of dust not far in front of me. A terrible accident. I thought "wow if I had been there 30 seconds sooner that coulda been me".
And then I remembered the beggar who delayed me. My mind was in an interesting place for the rest of the day as I contemplated the turn of events. To this day I no longer get irritated when I get delayed by some one as I go about my business.
I am driving through downtown and off the side of the four lane, 40 MPH zone, I noticed an older lady sitting on the sidewalk surrounded by bags that were obviously personal belongings. It looked to me like it was everything she owned.
She was far enough off where she didn't appear to be pan handling.
About a quarter mile down the road I knew I couldn't just drive on... I went around the block, gave her $10 and wished a merry Christmas. When I pulled up she asked if I was law enforcement or any "agency" to which I answered no. This is when I noticed the cup and a sign saying "Displaced".
Normally I don't cave to pan handlers because most are young enough they should be working and if they aren't working but pan handling they ain't gonna get a dime from me. I worked my whole life and they can too but this lady looked to be 70 years old. Talk about rough. When she talked her teeth, or what was left of them, were hideous and I couldn't help but wonder what happened in her life to have her end up on the street wearing dirty clothes with nothing. While she looked every bit of 70 to me she might have been 50 just looked 70 from a very hard life. It's chilly out and I wonder what she will do when it gets a little colder?
Mental illness maybe? If she was 70 I am sure she could get some help from somewhere just by asking for it. Her teeth burned an image in my mind; she had about half of them and the few she had... wow, just wow.
It just bothers me to see something like this and wonder if I could have done more.
Bless your heart! It's very easy for a person to fall through the gaping holes in our so-called social safety net these days. It's tragic. Many are victims of mental illness and many more than you may think have become homeless through no real fault of their own.
I once lived in a four-plex where one of the other renters was a man in his sixties who had worked construction all his life and had sustained one work related concussion too many. He seemed normal enough if you didn't know any better, but his traumatic brain injury put him a position where he really shouldn't have been living alone. The social worker from adult protective services would check in on him as she was able, but she had a large case load and could only do so much.
Long story short, this man ended up on the streets of my town because he couldn't figure out how to deal with paying his bills and didn't understand how his veteran pension and social security payments worked, and the landlord became fed up with him and had him evicted. I was very concerned about him, and I would visit him at the homeless shelter to see how he was doing. I also reported his eviction to Social Services and even went to the town paper and told them about his story which they then published on the front page.
Adult protective services finally placed him in an assisted living center after he'd been on the streets for almost a year. Never assume that you know a homeless person's story - some would break your heart.
While the economy of my state is booming in the big cities, out here in rural Colorado times are rough. Another neighbor of mine worked a good professional job up until he had a heart attack in his fifties. He ended up losing his job and his savings vanished in the face of his medical bills. He's very intelligent and has a college degree, but the employers out here just aren't interested in hiring new employees who are in their late fifties or early sixties. He also ended up looking at life on the streets.
I live in an older home out in the countryside and I have a large spare room that I really wasn't using. I told my former neighbor that he and his dog could come live with me. I rescued him from his cheap motel room which he had run out of the money to pay for. It was February and cold and snowy. I didn't have it in me to stand by and do nothing when I had a perfectly good living space that was occupied only by my cat (she likes to go into that room for her bird watching activities). I don't regret offering him that spare room. He's very quiet, keeps to himself, and does all the yard work and even washes up all the dishes after every meal. Plus, he's a big guy and ex-military in addition, so his presence makes me feel far safer out here than when I was living on my own.
I think we should all help one another as best as we can - after all, we've been given the good fortune to live in America - a land of relative plenty when compared to the rest of the globe. While not everyone is in the position to give someone a spare room, if your gut instinct tells you to help someone, hand them that $10 if you can spare it. In my experience that $10.00 comes back to me many times over. God bless and Merry Christmas!
Next time, instead of giving money, consider calling the police or social services so they can provide some real service. Chances are the old woman would run. She started by asking if the OP was from an agency.
Many seniors are being displaced by unscrupulous landlords who want to sell to condo builders, or they ran out of funds for the assisted living facility, have mental health issues, or addiction, or just can't afford the rent. It was kind of you to stop and try to help.
Landlords are in the property business as investments. If I bought a property as part of my overall plan to sell and have a nest egg at retirement, how does that make me morally deficient?
I have been a landlord for 30 years; it is my retirement plan just like you have your own. If people don’t pay their rent they cannot continue to reside in my property. When I acquired my properties, the plan was to let them appreciate and sell when the timing was right Why does it seem that everyone believes Landlords should be social workers and forego making money on investments?
I think if we all did whatever small thing we could do at the moment for our fellow man, the world would be a much better place. I will follow your example when I see the opportunity.
Oh the irony.
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