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Yes! I found it strange that I couldn't remember how I spent my days with my first husband. I remember where we lived, but things like going grocery shopping together- nada.
This is exactly what I am talking about. I can't remember going to any grocery stores when I lived in various places. Don't have the memory of going in, pushing the cart, buying particular stuff - nothing!
That's why I question if I fed a couple of dogs! No memories of doing so!
Yes! I found it strange that I couldn't remember how I spent my days with my first husband. I remember where we lived, but things like going grocery shopping together- nada.
Maybe I'm wrong but I think that's normal. Unless you play back scenes from your memory once in a while you lose portions of it. If you haven't thought about going to the grocery store shopping with your husband in 20 years, when you try to remember it, it will be blank or difficult.
There were hard times in my life which I purposely never try to think about that happened maybe 20 years ago and now when I try to recall exactly what happened it's a blur or has many missing parts.
Other things I might think about even just once a year, are still vivid.
In other words, your brain only has so much memory space. It's going to delete some things to make room for others that are more important to you.
Last edited by marino760; 12-22-2017 at 12:46 PM..
See the three stage memory model in the Wikipedia article linked in a post on page 1. There are other models, but this one's easy to understand and explains how it's been suggested memory works - and why we remember some things but not others.
Shortest form of memory is sensory; this is why we see a movie as a continuous movie rather than a series of frames, or why we can draw shapes in the dark with a flashlight.
Short term memory is the next stage. Things we pay attention to (attend to) are put into short term memory; not all sensory input makes it there. That's why we don't hear the sound of the fan in the background unless something or someone draws attention to it. There's no point recording every sensory input in short term memory unless they're relevant in some way.
Short term memories get moved to long term memory. Different types of memories may get stored differently: for example, a memorized song vs. how to ride a bike. I used to forget whether I'd closed the garage door on my townhome, and have to drive back to check -- so I got in the habit of staring at the closed door for a while repeating silently to myself "the door is closed" - because rehearsal helps "burn in" a memory so it isn't lost. It worked.
There's a consolidation process where long term memories are integrated into narrative memory, and connected with other long term memories to support retrieval. A number of researchers suggest the process of REM sleep is associated with this process of integrating memories and making "sense" of them.
I don't remember things like specific shopping trips or most meals I've eaten or a TV show I watched last week. Those aren't important so they're not easily retrievable - or they may not have been stored in long term memory at all. If you're concerned that you see memories slipping away or you're not remembering certain things, there are tests a psychologist can give you to evaluate your memory systems.
I'm not concerned, yet - just wondering what is "normal." My working theory right now is that I am "old" and just now thinking about certain things that I haven't thought about in 50+ years - since I have never thought to access these memories before now, I don't know if they were always inaccessible or if it's a new thing.
I'm not concerned, yet - just wondering what is "normal." My working theory right now is that I am "old" and just now thinking about certain things that I haven't thought about in 50+ years - since I have never thought to access these memories before now, I don't know if they were always inaccessible or if it's a new thing.
I look at it another way, when you are 20 years old you have 20 years of memories to remember (actually less because most people remember very little from when they were young children) and when you are 65 you have 65 years of memories, a much higher amount of memories. Just like you probably could remember a grocery shopping list of 5 items but could never remember a grocery list with 20 items.
Memories fade with time which is just as well because many of our old "memories" have little to do with reality. They are not written in stone but instead we rework them. It is sort of like the proverbial fish story. The more the story is told, the bigger the fish becomes. In reality there might have been a fish but it was nothing like the memory.
We only think we have a comprehensive memory, but it is an illusion.
I was in third grade for about a thousand hours. I have only one or two fleeting images in my mind of my third grade classroom or anything I did there. Yet, I think that I clearly remember third grade. The other 999 hours, 59 minutes and 50 seconds are gone.
I'm not concerned, yet - just wondering what is "normal." My working theory right now is that I am "old" and just now thinking about certain things that I haven't thought about in 50+ years - since I have never thought to access these memories before now, I don't know if they were always inaccessible or if it's a new thing.
I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so when I can't recall something immediately I tend to freak out a bit and assume my memory is starting to go. Like when I walk from one room to another and can't remember why I did so. I have this site bookmarked - it talks about what's normal and what might be a sign for concern:
Interesting study about poor sleep and memory loss. I saw this on the news a couple weeks ago also. If you don't reach deep sleep, the brain can't refresh itself.
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