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One thing that doesn't help women is that many that weren't in charge of finances when married, don't take charge when they are not. We have a friend that divorced three years ago, and we have been keeping in touch. She is having financial problems, is on disability, and apparently has not taken the reins of her own horse.
She and her husband saved 50% of their salaries for 20 years during their marriage. We asked her about her situation- how much her funds were. She doesn't know. We asked can she look them up to find out? She doesn't know. She says her husband divided them. We asked her if they are in bank accounts for her. She doesn't know. They built a house together from scratch. Apparently it is in a trust fund. We asked her if she knows who manages the fund. She doesn't know. Is it an irrevocable trust? She doesn't know. We asked her is she knew anything about spousal benefits for ex-wives. She doesn't know.
It might be easy for some people that don't care about others to just drop it and go out and "buy a new car or something" and forget about the friends. But that is not us. Oh, man, just how deep are we supposed to get involved? Don't know. We really like her, and don't want her to fail, so I see some advocacy coming up in the horizon. We always do this, take in strays to keep them from physical and financial death. We're not well off, but we're OK financially, and it makes us feel good to know we helped others in need.
I guess that is slowly defining our 'volunteering' after retirement....
Her not knowing is a choice. She could take an interest in her own well being and find out.
Her not knowing is a choice. She could take an interest in her own well being and find out.
Yeah, but it's pretty classic avoidance behavior. Particularly when someone is depressed. For someone divorced for 3 years and disabled, it's hardly surprising.
Studies at the University of Michigan and Stanford University have shown that women are twice as likely to file for divorce as men.
The statistic of who files for divorce does not reflect the reality of who leaves the marriage. In many cases, the spouse who files for divorce is simply taking care of the necessary paperwork in the wake of cheating, financial misbehavior, addiction, violence, or other betrayal on the part of her spouse.
Yeah, but it's pretty classic avoidance behavior. Particularly when someone is depressed. For someone divorced for 3 years and disabled, it's hardly surprising.
It really depends on what the disability is. If it's a TMI she may not have the cognitive skills necessary to recognize the issues. If it's a physical disability, the pain may be overtaking her thought processes. If the pain is debilitating enough, sometimes that's all you can think about.
If it's depression or a mental disorder, she may be just functioning and unable to concentrate on monetary issues.
LOL, I was waiting for the "I know a guy who lost it all because they had a million dollar mortgage" story.
Gimme a break.
and the highlighted is simply ridiculous over simplification. Now in the interest of full disclosure most retirees I know don't have a "ridiculous" mansion.
I have a mortgage, I'm not sweating a darn thing. If the market changes most retirees I know with a mortgage will simply re-evaluate.
right now in this market my investments are making 2X what my mortgage cost me. Now I totally admit I don't run with the multi million dollar crowd. my mortgage is 200K. I can easily pay that off if the proverbial crap hits the fan.
right now my goal is to increase my networth. taking my money out of investments just under the illusion that it's safer to have no money is silly.
But i will say if you sleep better feeling that way. go for it.
He didn't "lose everything" but selling the house became a different strategy with the "carrying costs" as part of the equation.
Century Village is a development in Florida aimed at low income seniors. You can buy units there for as little as $20,000.
HBO did a documentary on Kings Point (sister community). Google either Century Village or Kings Point and it will be eye opening when it come to poor retirees.
It’s done in the housing bubble. Let’s say your house worth $2 million, whether you owe a $2million or $100k, if you can’t pay your mortgage, it’s much easier to walk away from your home if you owe a huge mortgage, because in California there is has no recourse. So payoff your mortgage may not be a smart strategy, not especially when housing was crashed and your house lost 90% of the value.
Last edited by NewbieHere; 11-07-2018 at 08:55 AM..
Imagine you never made much money to begin with. Your parents were poor and couldn't afford to pay for your college education. You couldn't afford to just go to college without student loans - and - work at the same time.
Then, you get divorced and you get custody of the kid. Yay! But, then your ex never pays child support, and you're working full time and trying to afford a house payment and student loan payments and your child care costs more than your house payment. And, your kid needs braces, and has allergies, on and on.
Then, you are severely injured and end up on disability.
You're really good at budgeting the money that you have. But, you definitely qualify as within the definitions of the poverty levels for assistance, etc.
Stuff happens. Why assume the people who are struggling in retirement are somehow losers, gamblers, drug addicts or whatever? Yeesh.
This is the same kind of narrow thinking of people who assume all immigrants are terrorists (even though all of our ancestors were immigrants). Really, try imagining a different scenario based on an open mind and kindness. You might surprise yourself.
I was one of these poor people when I was younger, I know you get financial aid. I also worked part time. You can’t make this up properly. Poor people get help from the government.
Yes. And women have to stay married to their husbands for 10 years in order to collect any of their husbands' SSA retirement money, and then just a portion of it. That's how we value women who stay home to take care of the home and kids.
So, what if he divorces her after 9 years for a younger model? Yep, she's SOL.
What is the percentage of the population falls in this category.
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