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I think of POA as a financial decision maker.
I would think health decisions fall under the health care directive or living will.
Are you speaking of giving the lawyer the authority to make health decisions like do the surgery or do not.
Use comfort care, use a ventilator, time for a nursing home etc.
And in the end make final arrangements?
Seems like a lot of responsibility that needs constant correspondence.
There's a document called 5 wishes that is excellent for someone to put into words how they want to treat or not treat health issues as they come. Everyone can see a sample here. It's legal in most states.
It was given to my dad when he had terminal leukemia. My hub did one when he had cancer, so did his mother when she had terminal breast cancer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3
For Financial or Assets- Use a Bank Trust, or Attorney
For Medical- Use your entrusted Doctor.
yes By having your physician, you are then going to have that 20 minute detail chat on what YOU want or DO not want. He/She may or may not be your attending personnel at ER or ICU, yet he/she can certainly adhere to your directives.
Someone made a post in the health section that their doctor gave them a medical power of attorney form to have the doctor do it. A few people said it is illegal to use your physician for that. Here is the thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
I don't have spouse, partner, or children. Two siblings, no other close family. One sibling lives overseas. The relationship with the other is tenuous...we don't see eye to eye on anything though we are civil. I witnessed her behavior when I executed our father's estate and would never subject anyone to it while settling mine. So, I chose an established trust firm within my state to act as executor. My will is on file with them and their contact info is kept with my original will at home. No fees up until they initiate probate. Billable hours? Who can predict what they'll be at that point? I'm only leaving token bequests to family members/friends anyway and the balance to non-profits. Whatever is left after probate expenses are settled will be what it will be. It would be modest in any case. Still better than a kick in the head.
A long term close friend is my healthcare proxy. Again, the one sibling in the USA would not agree with my choices, she'd exert her unfortunate "personality" over all medical personnel if she was the proxy, and I have doubts she could override her own views on my behalf.
I haven't found a person willing to act as POA. The trust company does not offer that service, a couple of people I've approached are not that comfortable with that much responsibility. Can't say I blame them. Don't have an answer for this one.
You're doing the right thing by not using your sibling for medical. You have to know that the person will allow the plug to be pulled if that's what you wish.
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Originally Posted by selhars
And if you don't have a "very young person" who is up to the job, or that you trust?
I'm set for now because my named POA/executor is fine. but as we age, eventually I'll have to choose someone else.
I HOPE the at least ONE of my 15 nieces and nephews is up to the job so I can have some confidence in naming them. I have a leading contender but I'll just have to see where we all are in life when it's time to make the selection. (In this case the ones who are likely the most responsible, aren't the ones I'm closest to. Just don't see or talk to them much, that's all.)
Start a discussion with the nieces and nephews that you do speak to. See what their thoughts are compared to yours with medical decisions such as pulling the plug. They all know that you do not have anyone that can step in if your circle dies off. You want the person that is trustworthy that is ok with your aging or end of life wishes. My old neighbor was going to put me in charge of his medical after he saw how I handled my dad and my hub's cancers but he ended up dying. His niece who didn't even like him was the one that did everything and in the end, she didn't do things he wanted done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryDay
This was probably the most informative post that I have ever read. Thank you so much to all that contributed.
My husband was considerably younger than myself. I thought he would always be there to take care of everything. I HATED making these decisions when he took ill. And deciding when to let him die was the worst experience of my life.
So no, I won't be naming my children, friends or relatives into such a thankless position.
Health Care Directive. Given that I just went through making decisions on all those "life-saving" procedures. I know all the information that I want to put in the directive. Thanks for the heads-up on this most important document.
Health Care Proxy No health care directive can possibly be all encompassing. I will not provide next-of-kin info, so they won't be able to pressure my family into making health care decisions. I will provide the name of the executor in case of death. Thus, I will be designated an unrepresented patient, which basically says that medical care decisions will be made by the hospital/doctor in the best interest of the patient. They are best qualified, so that is fine with me. Beware, they are not happy about doing this though and will try to pressure one to name a next of kin / healthcare surrogate-proxy.
More on unrepresented patients: https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org...ective/2019-07
Executor I will appoint my attorney to handle the after my death thing. I understand that billing fees will cut deeply into the value of the estate, but PROBATE SUCKS and irrevocable trusts would be too limiting to me. My kids are well-off in their own right. An attorney means the kids end up with some lucky-strike extra cash and no hassles.
Financial Power Of Attorney Nobody has provided an answer to this one. Everything else is about when I am dead or almost dead. This one will affect my day-to-day while I am living! My kids in other states/countries have a life. And don't have enough time already to deal with their work, family, and other commitments. Having to take on someone else's bills and problems when they don't have enough time to deal with their own seems heartless. And as many others said, appointing a friend my own age is just asking for problems. I will continue to research, if I come up with any workable solutions, I will report back.
I'm sorry it was so traumatic for you with your husband. Some people are just not cut out to do it. I'm the type of person that doesn't have a problem doing what the person wishes whether they want everything done to stay alive or having to pull the plug.
Hopefully things will work out the way you want with not giving a hospital information and letting them decide how far to go. I personally would never do that because they're after the big financial payment for possibly keeping people alive longer.
This was probably the most informative post that I have ever read. Thank you so much to all that contributed.
My husband was considerably younger than myself. I thought he would always be there to take care of everything. I HATED making these decisions when he took ill. And deciding when to let him die was the worst experience of my life.
So no, I won't be naming my children, friends or relatives into such a thankless position.
Health Care Directive. Given that I just went through making decisions on all those "life-saving" procedures. I know all the information that I want to put in the directive. Thanks for the heads-up on this most important document.
Health Care Proxy No health care directive can possibly be all encompassing. I will not provide next-of-kin info, so they won't be able to pressure my family into making health care decisions. I will provide the name of the executor in case of death. Thus, I will be designated an unrepresented patient, which basically says that medical care decisions will be made by the hospital/doctor in the best interest of the patient. They are best qualified, so that is fine with me. Beware, they are not happy about doing this though and will try to pressure one to name a next of kin / healthcare surrogate-proxy.
More on unrepresented patients: https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org...ective/2019-07
Executor I will appoint my attorney to handle the after my death thing. I understand that billing fees will cut deeply into the value of the estate, but PROBATE SUCKS and irrevocable trusts would be too limiting to me. My kids are well-off in their own right. An attorney means the kids end up with some lucky-strike extra cash and no hassles.
Financial Power Of AttorneyNobody has provided an answer to this one. Everything else is about when I am dead or almost dead. This one will affect my day-to-day while I am living! My kids in other states/countries have a life. And don't have enough time already to deal with their work, family, and other commitments. Having to take on someone else's bills and problems when they don't have enough time to deal with their own seems heartless. And as many others said, appointing a friend my own age is just asking for problems. I will continue to research, if I come up with any workable solutions, I will report back.
I need to get on top of all of these items and feel the same as you...do not want to burden 1 sibling who has had to take charge of all care, finances, etc. for elderly parents and is totally burnt out despite having the financial education. Plus our ages are close and proximity is far. Interesting about the "unrepresented patient."
The question of financial management is often unanswered. Recently read about "Daily Money Manager" DMM occupation which is a professional field set up to handle bills, etc. for elderly, small businesses (I'm new here so not up on links/quoting but simply search that term). Not sure how their fees/services differ from an accountant. I imagine there are many elderly in facilities who have no one to handle finances. How to find someone trustworthy? Also am perplexed how these things work with life nowadays requiring on-line accounts for everything--constant changing of passwords, getting locked out if you don't log in over certain # of months...how do these paid professionals handle that?
Last edited by Brightsider; 06-12-2021 at 03:07 PM..
The question of financial management is often unanswered.
Black Rock manages my mother's not inconsiderable portfolio; from which her monthly needs are met.
As her manager, she gives them 'permission' to be her fiduciary in regard to her portfolio, as well as file tax returns, mete out a monthly allowance, pay bills, etc... This is not a power of attorney. The biggest difference being a manager of client's financial affairs assumes the client is of sound mind and capable of approving transactions as well as reviewing monthly and quarterly statements of activity, POA assumes you are not capable of making these decisions.
For a second, I thought I could make this work. Assign a Finance Institution to manage day-to-day activities; who would then have to report to the POA, who would be responsible to review the statements of work. But in reality, this would fail. Most people that I know, including my kids, don't even get look at bank statements much less balance their accounts. Their eyes glaze over at the word 'reconciliation'. Giving them the duty of reconciling statements and reviewing transactions for best interest would not be kind.
The search goes on, I will investigate Daily Money Managers next!
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