Attempt at dating someone who lives in a rural area. (lakes, water)
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I am an infrequent poster in this forum , after browsing it for several months to gain some insight , I would like to ask you all a question. I am from a city of roughly 1M , and like to travel to broaden my proverbial horizons. One trip I took in June was particularly memorable , I was going fishing , and stopped to get breakfast. I was absolutely taken aback when the most beautiful lady I've ever seen took my order. At the time , I was in a rush due to several dozen minnows waiting in the car , so my patience was thin. I gave no attitude or posturing , but in retrospect , I was clearly in a rush. Since that day , I have been a bit obsessed with returning out there to ask , however , I am at a loss as to whether this will be possible. I have spent the last 5 months pondering as many possible outcomes , furthermore branching out from those outcomes into more remote possibilities. I imagine the dating options would be limited in such a place , she didn't have a ring on her fingers at the time , but you never know. I headed home that afternoon feeling like I was riding a storm front , and was excited about seeing her again. However , I find myself worrying about her , despite the fact I don't know her from a can of paint. She is very beautiful , and the area she resides in is the poster child for the old 'Marlboro Country' advertisements. I also found out the area has an unusually high incidence of rapes. Reading this made me worry even more , as there are a lot of bikers who travel there , and some of them view ladies as nothing more than sexual objects. I imagine she has dealt with more BS than I ever have , living out there , but I'm sure there are a few things we could impart on one another given time.
Basically , I just want to know how any of you all would proceed in this matter. I imagine some of you may say 'You live in the city , why don't you date there?' , however I have only been on one date in 2007 , and it has been 10 years since I parted ways with my ex girlfriend. The person I dated in 2007 was a decent person , but kept getting up to 'head to the restroom' to talk on her cellphone. I'd call her daily to speak and see how she was doing , I don't think this went to well with her , as I never heard from her again. In retrospect , it was likely in my best interest , as she asked me for an ipod a week after we went out , at the time they were upwards of $300. Any and all logical advice is appreciated.
Since that day , I have been a bit obsessed with returning out there to ask , however , I am at a loss as to whether this will be possible. I have spent the last 5 months pondering as many possible outcomes , furthermore branching out from those outcomes into more remote possibilities. I imagine the dating options would be limited in such a place , she didn't have a ring on her fingers at the time , but you never know. I headed home that afternoon feeling like I was riding a storm front , and was excited about seeing her again. However , I find myself worrying about her , despite the fact I don't know her from a can of paint. She is very beautiful , and the area she resides in is the poster child for the old 'Marlboro Country' advertisements. I also found out the area has an unusually high incidence of rapes. Reading this made me worry even more , as there are a lot of bikers who travel there , and some of them view ladies as nothing more than sexual objects. I imagine she has dealt with more BS than I ever have , living out there , but I'm sure there are a few things we could impart on one another given time.
The area where she lives simply reports crimes honestly unlike many large cities where the police have neither the time nor the interest.
Go back and have breakfast there again, perhaps more than once. Tell her that you know how bad it must be for a woman to live in the hinterland. Note how she reacts. While you may find it inconceivable you should take note of the fact that tens of millions of people, about half of them women, live in small town and rural America with no plans to emigrate. I doubt that she will see you as a savior.
"I was going fishing , and stopped to get breakfast. I was absolutely taken aback when the most beautiful lady I've ever seen took my order. At the time , I was in a rush due to several dozen minnows waiting in the car , so my patience was thin."
That has to be one of the weirdest scene sets since "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." You leave me wondering what sexual attraction the minnows had for you that were greater than the power of the woman.
Buppy, you have a crush on a waitress. Your hormones kicked in and stuck a fishhook through the side of your mouth. In all likehood, she has a hairy boyfriend who smells of Old Spice, cow manure and diesel fuel and spends her time at home farting and watching Judge Judy.
I don't expect to be seen as a savior , and while I am attracted to her , it goes beyond looks. Perhaps some of you can relate , but it is a strange feeling I got when she greeted me. I will head back out there to eat , regardless of the outcome. Her being currently attached has come to mind , which is something I can deal with , although I will admit it will be a tad odd stopping there after the fact , however , I'd be fine with just continuing to speak and keep it moving. The first trip out there , I picked the minnows up prior to heading to the fishing spot , after a luckless 2 hours , I decided to get something to eat. From start to finish , the trip took about 5 hours , but has been reduced to 3. Maybe this anathema is the result of being single for 10 years , and telling myself that I would be content remaining so. I appreciate the replies , and got a good laugh out of Mr. Chickpea's response. Oddly enough , HHGTTG is one of my top 5 movies , and I can guarantee there was no desire to mate with the minnows. I have a psychological tic that sees me go to extreme lengths to keep them alive as long as possible , even stopping along the way to get water from lakes and streams. Anyway , I've already figured out a course of action , and will keep in mind that I have everything to gain , and nothing to lose. Thanks again.
Lastly , I have no plans to victimize anyone , Mrs. Rasa. I was merely stating facts , and have a -100 tolerance for violence , especially against women who are trying to live life like the rest of us.
Tell her that you know how bad it must be for a woman to live in the hinterland.
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NOooo!!!! What ever you do - don't say this! ^^^
You don't know 'how bad' it is. And if she has found her slice of heaven in that area, this would be major insult and absolutely not score you any points with her at all!
Instead, as her what it IS like and how she likes it.
Ask her questions to show interest, don't talk so much about yourself unless she asks.
Now the title/focus of this discussion I think has really nothing to do with big city guy and country girl dating. Your dating history expresses that dating in and of itself is an 'issue' for you. Not that the 'issues' are a bad thing. I did not date for a long time and t was not because of anything about myself - was just too busy for it, and no one was interesting enough.
But- I think you are a bit nervous and I can totally understand that.
My advice to you in an overall perspective. Don't play what if, don't guess or make up possible outcomes- don't think so much into the near future. This will only muddle up your mind and emotions. Just live in the now- because you don't know what might happen.
And worry is totally counter-productive.
...
NOooo!!!! What ever you do - don't say this! ^^^
You don't know 'how bad' it is. And if she has found her slice of heaven in that area, this would be major insult and absolutely not score you any points with her at all!
Instead, as her what it IS like and how she likes it.
Ask her questions to show interest, don't talk so much about yourself unless she asks.
Now the title/focus of this discussion I think has really nothing to do with big city guy and country girl dating. Your dating history expresses that dating in and of itself is an 'issue' for you. Not that the 'issues' are a bad thing. I did not date for a long time and t was not because of anything about myself - was just too busy for it, and no one was interesting enough.
But- I think you are a bit nervous and I can totally understand that.
My advice to you in an overall perspective. Don't play what if, don't guess or make up possible outcomes- don't think so much into the near future. This will only muddle up your mind and emotions. Just live in the now- because you don't know what might happen.
And worry is totally counter-productive.
This is the most helpful response , given the fact I do have a tendency to constantly think about things , even going so far as to visualize outcomes that are nearly impossible. Truthfully , I have been thinking a tad too far ahead , visualizing possibilities for events that at best , will not likely come to pass for several decades(nothing related to the current dilemma). This has helped me in the past , as well as hindered , as I have been informed at work that I overthink simple things , and have no issues with complex scientific pursuits. I feel if I were to assimilate into the collective who prefers to live by the adage 'don't think , just do' , I would end up in far worse circumstances , and would not have been able to reach the age of 36. I will attempt to heed your advice , and avoid stating the perceived drawbacks to rural living. I imagine such a statement would be construed as pompous , maybe even asinine , at which point the only thing I could do is return home , and continue on my current trajectory. I went on one date , as mentioned before , but she was a member of this aggravating cellphone culture , and likely a golddigger of sorts. Hopefully , if things transpire favorably , this will not be the case.
Reminded me of the time as an 18-year old, I met a beautiful young lady who was a waitress in a very small town. I met her on a bus returning home from my Air Force induction at Houston. We had only a hour or so to talk before she got off the bus at her hometown. After I got home, I drove back down to find her. Although I located her restaurant, I never did find her as it was her day off.
Short story. Within a few weeks I found myself in the Air Force and within a year of being stationed at my permanent U.S. base, I met another beautiful young woman in another very small Texas town (about 600 miles from the other small town). I married her almost 43 years ago and we are still very much in love.
If my old-school opinion counts, country girls can't be beat. If they happen to be beautiful and country, God's angels can't complete with them.
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