Do's and Don'ts for New Residents of Small Towns

[pikabike]

Originally Posted by stockwiz

Live your life the way you want and don't try to please everyone. Be considerate and don't leave your dog barking all day or build a home next to a farm and then complain about the smell, but outside that some of these complaints are over the top. If someone wants to build a mcmansion in the country, more power to them. I'm not going to tiptoe around the local clique so I can be part of the "good ole boys club.". If people make up gossip, I wouldn't want to associate with them anyways. If I find out who they are I'll kick their ass.

I do like the anonymity of larger cities. Can you tell? I'm polite and considerate but if a local is being obnoxious, like leaving their barking dogs out all day, I will call them out. I don't care who they are and am not going to worship anyone because they own the local gas station. I've heard cases where local lawyers would not take cases against certain people around here because theyre part of the clique... Then I'd just hire a lawyer from Sioux falls then. People can take their clique and shove it.

Dealt with the clique thing in our last place, and that was in a city, albeit a very small one. Hypocrites. But I don't think it was a city vs rural thing. More like a regional attitude.

[OpinionExperience]

To the OP and all the people doing research.

I lived in the Greater Portland are of Maine for several years. I moved there from NJ and the last thing I wanted to do was bring NJ with me so I kept my mouth shut. People called me stand offish with a wall, we'll they were the same, "arms length!"

They can be extremely sarcastic but can't take it. You will get the silent treatment if you give a simple hello. Drugs abound and crime is more robust than you would think, so be ready. Trust is out the window they will turn on you in a heartbeat.

I am not big city a million plus nor Rural under 1,000 but somewhere in between. Same with politics not alt-left or alt-right dead center.

So if you move don't give them too much information because they are looking for something to use against you. I love the serenity of the country and less people but all it takes is one guy to have it in for you with no reason other than to watch you crash.

[Sweaty in Texas]

Where do you live now? Is it better?

[BusyMeAK]

Originally Posted by BingoQueen

.... when someone says "just be yourself" that's exactly what they mean

Your clothing, a nose ring, and what you drive is NOT YOU.

Those are material items you purchased for yourself.

Are you suggesting I have to walk naked in my little village? Clothes didn't grow on me, either.

[OpinionExperience]

Originally Posted by Sweaty in Texas

Where do you live now? Is it better?

NJ, no better no worse than Maine. There are pros and cons in different aspects of each state that balance each other out.

The biggest difference is Maine advertises itself as this postcard state "The way life should be" only until you live there long enough to see the other side of life. I know a few kids that died for sniffing chemicals like gas or paint thinner for a cheap high in the extreme rural areas. I can see why people are lured to the extreme rural areas to have some peace and quiet and live off the land lifestyle which is what I was looking for.

Jersey has the same lifestyle of self sufficiency but it is intertwined with the robust social life style of a bigger city or town.

Politics are the same, there is a concrete wall between the two Maines proven by this past election, NJ it is intertwined throughout the state.

I have met someone in the Witness Protection Program in Portland ME and thought who else is living here. Worked with a guy who was growing pot in his attic and was filled with secrets exposing his hypocritical life.

I have family that lives in rural New Mexico and Los Angeles we have great family gatherings that I can't post here! I am still dead center which I believe most of this country is.

So to everyone doing research into small towns you have to go there and if everyone goes silent and watches when you enter a restaurant, think about how that makes you feel. That would be the indicator if that place is for you. It happens in city restaurants too.

[cattalk1]

Keep most of your history a mystery.

Is trouble to speak out against the farmers except on water-quality issues like fracking sludge wells. Grow own garden and hug own trees all you want. Can sometimes find like-minded people on preserving green spaces or historical spots....

Keep quiet while you learn the town's politics...Use 'grace' when presented with everything rude or off which means better not to answer or complain about it. Keep quiet and most of the odd ball stuff about a small town will be explained if you have good business/work potential. Rumor mill is your friend...Might just watch how different church's members treat different people, will give you good idea which church to skip. Is VERY handy to find out where the most vocal and ugly people go to church.

Minimalist moves are best budget help...All furnishings can be replaced cheaply in most smaller communities by using the local store or resaler. Makes friends to buy locally...Try to ship a lot of stuff and probably find out a ton of stuff gets screwed up or even unusable...Can have private moving company load a U-Haul or Pods if you want on both ends but have been ripped so many times or my belongings subjected to football practice, I just replace stuff furnishings after a couple car moves. Even just moving 3 hours, $800 U-haul + professional help loading/unloading cost more than replacing all the furniture used & new mattress plus nothing is busted. Can leave the little-used rooms like dining, guest room or family room empty for a while until you can afford it.

Good housing deals always have a catch...Take the time to talk to neighbors and show up to view houses 30 minutes early so you can canvas area/inspect outside good if buying. Renting first is HIGHLY recommended as too many situations with dirty sheriff & really touchy town politics unless you are loaded, methies the cops ignore until felonies (so another jail houses these), drug bums trying to bother your daughters....Methie keeps coming back to family after jail...