suggestions on loving san francisco (Oakland, Stockton: how much, neighborhoods, living in)

[fedupnomad]

a while back i posted about sf not having a soul. i've decided to change my approach and see if, by december, i can develop some affection for the city.

so, keeping in mind the following, what suggestions do you sf lovers have for me -
1. i'm not a yuppie or hipster but a nerdy bookish writer
2. i like it when different ethnic groups interact
3. i'm 40ish
4. it be great to have a real neighborhood
5. i'm not really chatty, but i do love real conversation. i'm from the south - people there can blather on for hours.
6. my sense of humor tends to the dry and sarcastic (not mean)

so, please help me love sf!

thanks

[Boompa]

Originally Posted by fedupnomad

a while back i posted about sf not having a soul. i've decided to change my approach and see if, by december, i can develop some affection for the city.

so, keeping in mind the following, what suggestions do you sf lovers have for me -
1. i'm not a yuppie or hipster but a nerdy bookish writer
2. i like it when different ethnic groups interact
3. i'm 40ish
4. it be great to have a real neighborhood
5. i'm not really chatty, but i do love real conversation. i'm from the south - people there can blather on for hours.
6. my sense of humor tends to the dry and sarcastic (not mean)

so, please help me love sf!

thanks

Seems to me that your problems are about you and you would be just as unhappy somewhere else

[Bulldogdad]

Quite frankly I think Boompa is right. Your post has more to do with you than The City. I can't think of any American city that has more soul than S.F. Granted I also think its over run by liberal freakos but that also has a certain appeal for me in a Circus Side Show freakish bearded lady kind of way.

I was just there yesterday with my two teenagers. We spent the day at the California Academy of Sciences (ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE) the Planetarium and the Rain Forest exhibits were out of this world, walked around the concourse for a while, headed over to Ocean Beach, walked along the shore watching the surfers and families enjoying the early evening. The sublime atmosphere of the fog enveloping that part of the city with the fog horn sounding in the distance was beyond the pale. then we headed over to Lombard and Filmore to enjoy a great Chicago Style pizza at Patxi's. Afterwards we walked around the neighborhood interacting with the locals and doing some early evening window shopping. Then at about 8:45pm we jetted over to Ghirardelli Square for some hot chocolate, walked down to the San Francisco Maritime Park and watched the fog pour in through the Golden Gate until dark. Went back to the SUV, climbed in and were back in Stockton in the Central Valley 90 minutes later.

We talked with about 10 people during the day from different countries that were there visiting asking us questions about living in California, which they considered their number one vacation destination in the World. Now these are world travelers from Europe and Asia mind you who travel all over the world. They were absolutely enthralled with San Francisco and California.

I'd say San Franfreako, as I like to call it, has more soul (some what odd may it be) than you know what to do with and maybe it is overwhelming you. Have a glass of wine get out and explore damn it. You live in the Paris of America, find an English or European pub and hang out there for a few hours getting shnockered talking with the locals. You ought to be over yourself by then.

Good Luck.

[rah]

Originally Posted by fedupnomad

a while back i posted about sf not having a soul. i've decided to change my approach and see if, by december, i can develop some affection for the city.

so, keeping in mind the following, what suggestions do you sf lovers have for me -
1. i'm not a yuppie or hipster but a nerdy bookish writer

There are definitely "bookish writers" in SF, look harder.

2. i like it when different ethnic groups interact

This definitely exists in SF, look harder.

3. i'm 40ish

Good for you! There are lots of other 40ish people in SF too.

4. it be great to have a real neighborhood

Last i checked, SF had dozens of neighborhoods, and they are all "real". Why wouldn't they be "real"?

5. i'm not really chatty, but i do love real conversation. i'm from the south - people there can blather on for hours.

There are talkative and non-talkative people everywhere. Most people here aren't as outwardly friendly as people in the south (so i'm told at least), but people are still pretty nice overall. I've had lots of spontaneous conversations with strangers in SF...some at bars, some at parks, some at the bus stop, etc. Sometimes it's a crazy homeless guy conversing with me, sometimes it's a normal dude, or an old hippie dude (who then offers to smoke you out at the bus stop), or it's a hot chick, or an old lady, or some creepy old man hitting on me...it's definitely not unheard of and it involves all types of people. I once got a free sandwich at 11 at night, from a girl who had just closed up at Starbucks and was taking a giant bag of left over sandwiches home, after she struck up a conversation with me. Point being, you shouldn't have a problem meeting people and having an interesting conversation, and you might even get a friend/sandwich/hippie stories/weed out of it .

6. my sense of humor tends to the dry and sarcastic (not mean)

You can find that here too...it's not like everyone in a given region has the same sense of humor. Sarcasm is definitely not lost on most people here, i find.

It really does sound like the thing holding you back is probably yourself. You must be depressed or stuck in some sort of rut or something (or you've somehow had really bad luck with the people you meet) if you can honestly believe that SF has no soul.

[clongirl]

If you don't like it, you don't like it...move on. Not anybody's job to convince you otherwise.

[OakAve2OakLand]

Originally Posted by fedupnomad

a while back i posted about sf not having a soul. i've decided to change my approach and see if, by december, i can develop some affection for the city.

so, keeping in mind the following, what suggestions do you sf lovers have for me -
1. i'm not a yuppie or hipster but a nerdy bookish writer
2. i like it when different ethnic groups interact
3. i'm 40ish
4. it be great to have a real neighborhood
5. i'm not really chatty, but i do love real conversation. i'm from the south - people there can blather on for hours.
6. my sense of humor tends to the dry and sarcastic (not mean)

so, please help me love sf!

thanks

As I read your post, I can't help wondering what have YOU done to try and interact with the city?

I think it's hard for random C-D posters to give you personalized advice in this area because they don't know what you like to do, what level of involvement you're looking for, or what you enjoy about a city that would make you "develop some affection fore the city".

Maybe give the board more to go on in terms of your interests, passions, affinities, etc...your 6 points above really don't say much other than you're a somewhat introverted writer who is tolerant of diversity. Your comments about wanting a "real neighborhood" and "real conversation" implies that you're at least seeking more genuine social interaction on some level. Good for you...that's a start. Now, let go of all your preconceptions about SF and ACT on it. As has been discussed in other threads on here, it is up to YOU to get involved...people aren't going to knock on your door one day and offer you a personalized, guided tour of the city and all its charms.

Enjoy writing? Join a writers club. Enjoy sports? Go hit a Giants / A's, Niners / Raiders, Sharks game, etc. Enjoy being outdoors and being active? Go check out Golden Gate park, Muir Woods / Mt. Tam, or the Oakland Hills. Wine lover? Of course, Napa and Sonoma are within a couple hours. etc..etc..etc.. In short, if you can't find something to love about the Bay Area, then you really do need to do some introspection, because there's something else going on that has nothing to do with the area.

Be proactive, have an open mind and explore the area (start with the basics i.e. ideas above)...and go from there.

btw - what happens in December if you and SF haven't made that "special connection" by then? Pack up and head down the road to the next town where you go through this process all over again? Just going by your screen name...it sounds like that pattern is wearing on you. Just my $0.02 Good luck.

[jman650]

Originally Posted by Boompa

Seems to me that your problems are about you and you would be just as unhappy somewhere else

Lol I was just about to say that ha!

To the OP: Just forget about SF. Its not for you (you have already decided this) and we are hardly in need of any more people, let alone depressed, hypercritical people. You'd do well by yourself to just stay in the South and pretend SF doesn't even exist. Actually we would all do well by you doing that. I don't think any of us from here are interested in trying to sway your opinion of SF or hear your take on it. Just give up.

Side note: Why are there so many people that are under the impression that people out here are at all interested to hear some outsiders' negative opinions/rants about SF? What is it about SF that prompts people to report to us and voice their opinions so often when we haven't asked? I don't see a ton of people flocking to the Boston or Minneapolis forums to go on and on about how much they either love or hate the place. Why is SF so "lucky?"

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by Bulldogdad

The sublime atmosphere of the fog enveloping that part of the city with the fog horn sounding in the distance was beyond the pale.

You will sing a different tune about the fog if you have to live in it day after day

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by clongirl

If you don't like it, you don't like it...move on. Not anybody's job to convince you otherwise.

Of course the most constructive comment so far from the expected source!

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by jman650

What is it about SF that prompts people to report to us and voice their opinions so often when we haven't asked? I don't see a ton of people flocking to the Boston or Minneapolis forums to go on and on about how much they either love or hate the place.

Probably because SF sucks way more than those other places!