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You menitoned about getting a bike. Get one and come join us at SF bike party and you will experience what SF is all about. We go through interesting neighborhoods with all senses around you with music keep beating and other people with common interest which is riding with wind in your face. The best way to experience SF. I fell in love with SF because of riding. This is my sincere suggestion. Another one would be come over to the Ferry Bldging on a Saturday morning and stroll along the Embarcadero. You'll wonder why people love SF.
That sounds like a lot of fun and a great way to meet people. I'm just not a very experienced biker, but it is something I'll look into just to get into something new. I really would also like to get into shape... not that I'm outta shape, its just that I'd like to be a bit more active.
The glue that holds many people to SF is mainly self-delusion about what SF has to offer its residents. There are many attractions for visitors, but those offerings are not something upon which to build a life. When you live here every day, as I have for 26 years, you come to realize that the city has depressing weather, overpriced housing, unavoidable panhandlers/bums, and a dysfunctional borderline socialistic city government. There is also no place to park.
You said it perfectly! The city has nothing to offer for living long term, unless you are a multi-millionaire with a house in Pacific heights and live here solely for the bragging rights.
Someone asked me what I'll do if I don't like it here by December - maybe I'll move to Austin!
It's not all about 'feeling good" or liking SF. My parents are in the south - they're getting older. I think a lot about being closer to them....and there are a few other practical reasons to be closer
to my family.
Someone asked me what I'll do if I don't like it here by December - maybe I'll move to Austin!
Austin seems to be a town with a lot going for it right now, and you would certainly appreciate the much lower COL than in the BA. I had it on my "short list" at one point, but had to DQ it mostly due to the oppressively hot and long summers...even worse than where I am now. Plus, no matter how "hip" Austin might be, it's still in Texas, which fries people on a daily basis, and supplied us with the 2 worst president's of the past 100 years IMO (LBJ and Dubya). To each their own, just sayin' not the kinda place I personally would be proud to call "home".
Maybe hit up the Austin C-D boards...if you haven't done so already.
Quite frankly I think Boompa is right. Your post has more to do with you than The City. I can't think of any American city that has more soul than S.F. Granted I also think its over run by liberal freakos but that also has a certain appeal for me in a Circus Side Show freakish bearded lady kind of way.
I was just there yesterday with my two teenagers. We spent the day at the California Academy of Sciences (ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE) the Planetarium and the Rain Forest exhibits were out of this world, walked around the concourse for a while, headed over to Ocean Beach, walked along the shore watching the surfers and families enjoying the early evening. The sublime atmosphere of the fog enveloping that part of the city with the fog horn sounding in the distance was beyond the pale. then we headed over to Lombard and Filmore to enjoy a great Chicago Style pizza at Patxi's. Afterwards we walked around the neighborhood interacting with the locals and doing some early evening window shopping. Then at about 8:45pm we jetted over to Ghirardelli Square for some hot chocolate, walked down to the San Francisco Maritime Park and watched the fog pour in through the Golden Gate until dark. Went back to the SUV, climbed in and were back in Stockton in the Central Valley 90 minutes later.
We talked with about 10 people during the day from different countries that were there visiting asking us questions about living in California, which they considered their number one vacation destination in the World. Now these are world travelers from Europe and Asia mind you who travel all over the world. They were absolutely enthralled with San Francisco and California.
I'd say San Franfreako, as I like to call it, has more soul (some what odd may it be) than you know what to do with and maybe it is overwhelming you. Have a glass of wine get out and explore damn it. You live in the Paris of America, find an English or European pub and hang out there for a few hours getting shnockered talking with the locals. You ought to be over yourself by then.
Good Luck.
what does your post say about actually living here? i agree talking to tourists is amazing - i came here as a tourist, met cool people and loved it.
but no one can spend everyday talking to tourists (maybe they like it on the surface, but they don't really know the city). also, i find that people who work at these tourist places - museums and whatever tend to be friendly. that's not necessarily how it is in less 'hot' parts of the city.
As I read your post, I can't help wondering what have YOU done to try and interact with the city?
I think it's hard for random C-D posters to give you personalized advice in this area because they don't know what you like to do, what level of involvement you're looking for, or what you enjoy about a city that would make you "develop some affection fore the city".
Maybe give the board more to go on in terms of your interests, passions, affinities, etc...your 6 points above really don't say much other than you're a somewhat introverted writer who is tolerant of diversity. Your comments about wanting a "real neighborhood" and "real conversation" implies that you're at least seeking more genuine social interaction on some level. Good for you...that's a start. Now, let go of all your preconceptions about SF and ACT on it. As has been discussed in other threads on here, it is up to YOU to get involved...people aren't going to knock on your door one day and offer you a personalized, guided tour of the city and all its charms.
Enjoy writing? Join a writers club. Enjoy sports? Go hit a Giants / A's, Niners / Raiders, Sharks game, etc. Enjoy being outdoors and being active? Go check out Golden Gate park, Muir Woods / Mt. Tam, or the Oakland Hills. Wine lover? Of course, Napa and Sonoma are within a couple hours. etc..etc..etc.. In short, if you can't find something to love about the Bay Area, then you really do need to do some introspection, because there's something else going on that has nothing to do with the area.
Be proactive, have an open mind and explore the area (start with the basics i.e. ideas above)...and go from there.
btw - what happens in December if you and SF haven't made that "special connection" by then? Pack up and head down the road to the next town where you go through this process all over again? Just going by your screen name...it sounds like that pattern is wearing on you. Just my $0.02 Good luck.
i've seen all the sites, gone to churches, i'm part of several writers groups. i meet people but there's just never a connection.
and i do see somethings to like about the area - it is very beautiful but i've traveled so much...i've seen so much...........for me, it's ALL about forming good connections. that always takes work but here, it seems like a monumental effort. i could live in siberia if i just had people. i'm getting older - i have very little family. i just feel a real need to make connections that are likely to last.
and i have moved a lot - some for work, some my choice. my handle is a little negative i guess but it's more to do with that i just want to stop. i have liked some places - NYC was great - I had friends there, but left b/c of a job. Even Miami was ok. LA was hard though I was in love with the weather.
it's all a little more complicated than just not liking san francisco. it's beautiful.....i want to like it. but i'm not sure it's what i NEED. does that make sense?
I just came from Los Angeles, before that Portland.
I can guarantee you San Francisco has a soul.
Have you been to other cities?
Actually, have you been San Francisco? Lol. There are lots of bookish nerdy types here. This is the most educated city in the United States. Whites are not the majority here. Asians, African-Americans, Native Americans, and Latinos make up more of the population than whites. If you haven't seen them interacting w/ one another, then I again have to ask: have you been to San Francisco?
As far as real neighborhoods go? Um... this city is made up of close-knit neighborhoods. Even the Tenderloin has a community feel. Granted, not a community I want to belong to (lol), but it's still a neighborhood -- a real one, even.
I think maybe San Francisco just isn't the city for you. You shouldn't have to be convinced. In fact, San Francisco is one of those cities that you should immediately fall in love with -- if you don't, it's not the city for you. Los Angeles on the other hand -- now that's a tough city to appreciate. LA is definitely a grower -- it takes some time to see it's beauty. Not San Francisco, though.
I'm also curious as to what you write about? Your observations seem to be... a little off.
i did love SF at first but cities are like people, you have to be in a ltr relationship with them before you really know them. i've fallen out of love.
and as for neighborhoods, maybe i should have been more explicit. obviously, SF has physical neighborhoods. but where is a neighborhood where people know their neighbors, have block parties etc. i'm not saying there aren't any - i really am asking. where? (i do know one)
same with racial interaction - where? seriously, where? and i mean really interact and hang out. i see many colors of people, but they seem to move in clusters (and I've lived in other mega cities - that's true everywhere, but it SEEMS more so here.
i've seen all the sites, gone to churches, i'm part of several writers groups. i meet people but there's just never a connection.
and i do see somethings to like about the area - it is very beautiful but i've traveled so much...i've seen so much...........for me, it's ALL about forming good connections. that always takes work but here, it seems like a monumental effort. i could live in siberia if i just had people. i'm getting older - i have very little family. i just feel a real need to make connections that are likely to last.
Sounds like a legitimate concern, but clearly a different question than your original post. I can relate to what you're saying, as someone who is getting older and has moved around a bit myself. I'm hoping my next move will be the place I put down roots permanently and be a vital member of the community, and the ability (or lack thereof) to make real friends and connections will be a big part of success (or failure).
From what I've learned, the Bay Area may be somewhat challenging in that regard, but really not much different than any major, expensive, fast-paced city where people are very busy. I think, at the end of the day, one needs to decide if all the great things that the Bay Area has to offer are worth the challenges. For me, I think the answer is Yes. It's still expensive as hell, though...which to me means that one really needs to be firing on all cylinders career-wise and money-wise upon hitting the ground there. Thus, the move is still a work-in-progress for yours truly.
Anyway...in case you missed it, there was heavily-populated thread a while back on this same issue:
Threads like this puzzle me, I suppose because I fell in love with SF immediately after moving here. It took no "warming up to." Within a day or two after moving I already knew I made the right choice.
Aside from the natural beauty of the city, one of the best things about SF is that it is so incredibly easy here to find social events, festivals, concerts, street-fairs, etc...that fit your personality. For every possible hobby, interest, or vice you have, whether it be fairly common or obscure, there's people here that will embrace it with you.
For evidence of this, spend a few days at Dolores or Wash Sq or Golden Gate park. Of the many things I've witnessed at the parks, they include:
-Hundreds of grown men dressed up in ridiculous Lord-of-the-Rings-type costumes, acting out battle scenes
-People skipping around in unison, playing instruments I've never seen before (and I'm a musician!) in funny outfits waiving handkerchiefs around (some sort of traditional Eastern European dance, I presumed...)
-Born-again Christians doing interpretive dance and hand-signals (a la Napoleon Dynamite) to Christian Rock music
-Performance by an all-lesbian drumline (seriously).
-Approximately 100 people that did nothing but hula-hoop for hours.
If you can't find something to love here, maybe you need to ask yourself "is there anything that I'm passionate about??" Because if not, you are going to be pretty miserable anywhere.
So basically my advice is to "get a hobby." Seriously. And find people that share that hobby. Such a high proportion of people here are transplants that its really easy to make new friends. If you don't know where to start, try a website like meetup.com. There's no excuse not to put yourself out there. Good luck!
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