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My glass has always been half-full but sometimes I'm pumped and roaring to go, then other times I doubt myself and start to let the fear of the unknown sink in. (You are not alone there, I do the same thing!!!)
Hi WannaBNorCal that's what I'm trying to do now, get enough to come visit for 2 weeks so that I can use that time to look for a job, network and make face to face contacts.
I've been using alot of craigslist but not getting any responses from the jobs. I think it's because I'm out of state and they have so many people instate vying for the job so it's a bit discouraging. But I'm not giving up on it, nothing in life worth having comes easy. (That could be, it would seem very challenging to be looking for a job, landing it, a place to live, and on top of all that, moving. I don't need to work right now-blessed, but looking for that place to 'land', then start building the life I would like for myself. I think someone had mentioned they worked through a temp agency, would that work for you?)--Sometimes I wish I had a husband who got transferred ya know, now that would be a dream:-) We'd be forced to move, no holes barred. lol
but I know how I lose sight of my goals when I get distracted by new responsibilities. So that will be the final resort. (Again, you're not alone and I'm 37.)
These CityDataforums are the best source of information I have found to date. It's amazing how many people are so helpful and willing to assist.
I agree, don't know how I landed on this site, I think I was looking at Marin County Webcams online one night, thanks to this site is right.
Keep us posted, I'm trying to find a roommate soon so I can go back up there, but I'm in no hurry, still deciding, trying to plan very carefully.
Hope you can do the same, this isn't easy, but what in life worth having is easy....
Tallysmom (and everyone else)- You are very wise, that's EXCELLENT ADVICE.
Face it, if you wanna move from the midwest to Cali it's gonna take discipline and sacrifice. Planning is good too. My wife and I have no kids and dont plan on any but it's still been very rough trying to save for "the move" and pay all our bills both on minimum wage jobs. We want it bad though so we sacrifice alot in the mix. It's ok. You wouldn't believe what you can do with a small amount of money if you just budget and ask yourself "Can I take this to Cali with me? Do I really need this item?" Most the time I say no and set it back on the shelf. You dont NEED cable... that will come in time. You don NEED expensive furniture...thrift shops have 90% of your furnishings, and you can find some unique things there. Those who never sacrifice never learn the true meaning of happiness. Happiness isn't things and money, it's making your dreams come true whatever they may be. Ours is living in sunny ( and smoggy) L.A. and we are half way there.
Just remember, since everyones ideals are different your gonna get different answers from everyone. Go with what you feel and dont give up ok. Good luck!
The people in this SF room seem alot more positive than the ones in the L.A. room. I like it in here
Last edited by Jakehorror; 10-25-2007 at 01:09 PM..
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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I'm glad to see a nice positive thread....especially about California!!
Let me just add that I came to Santa Cruz with a 6-year-old daughter, me as a divorced mom, an education, but no job, and stayed with a friend's mother in a Senior's mobile home park!
I was getting discouraged at not finding a place to live, and I only had one week to get my daughter enrolled in school -- it is the law -- and I was sweating it. I found an ad on the bulletin board of the Unity Church (a liberal place) and got into a roommate situation with a divorced father of two girls. As usual, I did not have a job upon arriving, and I depended on temporary agencies, which nearly always had something right away. I also sweated trying to find a more permanent job, but eventually did as a therapist at a group home. So, I had the job and the place.
Unfortunately, the housing situation didn't work out and after a couple of months I moved...not happily, as the roommate was very difficult but I felt I had to move. And....as often happens....it was just the same time that a little cabin came up for rent not far away. I didn't think they would take a woman and a child, but, ironically, the neighbors wanted a family in the cabin, and they rented it to me. We stayed there for a few years, and eventually I ... believe it or not ... was able to buy a house ... granted a small house away from the ocean and in the mountains, but a house.
I eventually quit the therapist job and took anything I could get at the County -- one can work their way up once they get their foot in the door. I wasn't proud -- I just knew I needed better benefits and more flexibility as a mom. I have been with the County for ten years now and am getting together a nice pension and have all the benefits one normally gets at a government job.
We still have lots of used furniture, we don't have the most expensive computers, neither I nor my daughter have a "real" cell phone -- she just has a pay-as-you-go phone for emergencies. We just got television cable (basic) last year. We have an older car, but it gets us from Point A to Point B. My mortgage eats up most of my pay.
But....the trade-off is that we live in one of the most undeniably beautiful places in the country...maybe the world. We take advantage of the many, many gorgeous hiking places near us: Quail Hollow Ranch with its horse stables and many trails; Henry Cowell Redwood Park, with numerous trails through the redwoods; Santa Cruz beaches -- too numerous to count, and all free to the public. There are many, many amenities nearby. I also teach through the City Parks and Recreation Dept. as an extra job -- but although it doesn't pay a lot, it is fun and my class is very popular.
My daughter frequently thanks me for having the courage to leave the eastcoast and the Rust Belt. The Monterey Bay is where she considers "home." When she looks back on her childhood, she will remember fireworks on the Santa Cruz beach; jumping frogs at Roaring Camp Railroads in the summer; listening and watching just inches away from the sea lions resting on the piles of the wharf and laughing at sea otters as they play nearby. She will remember waking up in the middle of the redwoods, watching blue jays outside her bedroom window as she works on her homework, and her many trips to Japan Town in San Francisco and San Jose. All these are free things. We have many nature walks and talks around. We have free beaches for miles and miles. We have some of the most gorgeous natural scenery in the world.
Our home may not be fancy, and we don't have fancy cell phones, but we have a wealth of natural resources at our fingertips. My daughter is finally at an age that she can compare and realizes now that it has been a big financial struggle for me....but I have done it. I may not be able to afford to retire here, however, this is now her home town. This is where she went to school from 1st through 12th grade. When we return from visiting back east, she will often say to me, "Thank you mom for moving us here. It is so beautiful and everytime I come back I am grateful."
I had fears, too. And I had a child I was responsible for. The only difference is, I would use self-talk and tell myself that "There are millions of others living in that place -- they can fit one more person in -- me."
So you see, if pulled in the right direction, having a good attitude, knowing that somehow things can work out, learning to live without so many material things, and just persisting, one can actually begin to build a life in a new place more easily than often imagined.
I applaud those who are willing and able to make a move to a place where they feel their heart will be happier. As is often said out west, "Go for it!"
My main worry is whether or not I'll gell with them or end up sitting in my room on my computer.
But if you have a couple (2 at least, maybe 3) and don't mind that, you should be able to do fine, even in a more happening area of the city.
Well, that may happen. But, one plus to that, is you won't want to be home much. Which means, you'll get out more. I lived with strangers, and although I liked them, I was out all the time. Since then, I moved in with two friends, who live nextdoor to other friends. It's like Melrose Place. I feel like I'm home all the time, even though I'm having fun.
OK hypothetically speaking WHAT IF you were so fed up and miserable with where you were living that you almost felt SUFFOCATED. So you jumped the gun and quit your too-time-consuming-to-get-anything-else-done job to fully prepare to trek away to what you thought might be heaven in SF.
Well while you were prepping and packing to move, life went on. You had expenses and bills. With a halted income you find that your savings are dwindling massively each month. Your plans are constantly delayed due to life.
Each passing week airline tickets are rising for whatever reason and you're not even sure about the accommodations when you get there. You have no job lined up despite your daily online efforts.
You're kicking yourself for not leaving everything behind and hopping the first red-eye flight with your savings intact OR not keeping the distracting job that never would have given you a free moment to pack or prep to leave in the first place.
Now, in this hypothetical scenario, you're basically broke and overwhelmed soooo what are the odds that you can still go to SF and land a job, secure residence and start the new life you are so very optomistic about with the very little pocket money you have left?
Would it be wiser at this point to just waste more time (months) with a crappy overtime abusing temporary job to build funds back up since all of the prepping and packing is now complete and then move in the new year, despite your gnawing urge to leave immediately? Or could a girl go to SF with a dream and just make it happen?
Again-- What IF? hehe. Humor me.
I think, if there's a will, there's a way. Look on craigslist.org and find a living situation that will allow you to get by for a while, while you find a job. If it doesn't work out...you can always go back. I had a situation once, where I moved from Minneapolis to Seattle, then after a year decided to move back to Minneapolis, then after two months in Minneapolis I realized I made a huge mistake and moved back to Seattle. Minneapolis->Seattle->Minneapolis->Seattle (all within 15 months). I had to endure so many "I told you so" comments (on both ends), but I didn't care. Moving back to Minneapolis was the worst decision of my life. Moving back to Seattle was the best. I learned.
Look at craigslist. It will give you a great idea of what is out there for apartments AND jobs.
It's good to read that someone has luck with temp agencies. Here in Louisiana, I have applied to temp agencies before and it would take months to get a callback for even a 2 week assignment if I get a callback at all. So I was sour on that idea but maybe it's just this particular city. I'll keep that as an option, perhaps I'll have much better luck in the city. (This is what I mean by no opportunities here, everything seems to be like 3 steps behind everyone else.)
Beone, there is definitely a will, still waiting on that way. lol. I can't wait for it. The new life, the social expansion, the independence away from relatives, the natural scenery. OMG, I really need a change of scenery. I don't know how to describe it except that my eyes are hungry for something new. I often lose my breath when I think of what my new life can be.
LOL Jakehorror, I second that-- Wisteria does rock.
My logical mind tells me that it will be hard. There will be adjustments to be made and struggles to be had -- financially, emotionally, maybe even physically with California's different landscape -- until I get settled in. I know that I will have to work hard to have an income. I will have to overcome the fear of trusting strangers (which I will have to do on a daily basis) and I will have to get used to the citys' pace.
But, and I know this sounds cheesy and 'dreamy', in my heart I know that it will be OK. I feel like everything in my life, mistakes included, has pointed me in this direction. And I honestly think that when I arrive I will feel that I am where I am supposed to be.
I am not expecting miracles, pity or hand-outs, I just know that they will work out. Things always have. I just can't get there quick enough. lol.
Also the more I read about roommates, the more I'm inclined to look for one. I ran the figures in my head and it makes so much more sense. I'm not saying that I absolutely couldn't do it alone or that I won't but the potential savings outweigh any imagined threat of possible disaster roommies. I should probably get started on my search now to get to know them beforehand and eliminate the 'stranger' aspect. It seems to be unanimous that craigslist is the best source for setting up shop so fingers crossed.
OK hypothetically speaking WHAT IF you were so fed up and miserable with where you were living that you almost felt SUFFOCATED. So you jumped the gun and quit your too-time-consuming-to-get-anything-else-done job to fully prepare to trek away to what you thought might be heaven in SF.
Well while you were prepping and packing to move, life went on. You had expenses and bills. With a halted income you find that your savings are dwindling massively each month. Your plans are constantly delayed due to life.
Each passing week airline tickets are rising for whatever reason and you're not even sure about the accommodations when you get there. You have no job lined up despite your daily online efforts.
You're kicking yourself for not leaving everything behind and hopping the first red-eye flight with your savings intact OR not keeping the distracting job that never would have given you a free moment to pack or prep to leave in the first place.
Now, in this hypothetical scenario, you're basically broke and overwhelmed soooo what are the odds that you can still go to SF and land a job, secure residence and start the new life you are so very optomistic about with the very little pocket money you have left?
Would it be wiser at this point to just waste more time (months) with a crappy overtime abusing temporary job to build funds back up since all of the prepping and packing is now complete and then move in the new year, despite your gnawing urge to leave immediately? Or could a girl go to SF with a dream and just make it happen?
Again-- What IF? hehe. Humor me.
If you feel this way about life, just move to San Francisco now. I just came back from vacation out there. There are all types of people there and obviously alot of them do not have tons of money. Just pack up and leave. Get some roommates and job and live your life. No need to overanalyze it. You can always go back to where you came from if it doesn't work out. From how it sounds, you are not giving up alot to go out there anyhow.
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and I'm 37.)
