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“When we asked Seattle Times readers how they meet people, around 100 people wrote in with success stories. Among their varied tales was one common thread: The key to making friends, readers told us again and again, is finding a group of people who both share a passion and meet regularly to pursue it.
Reader Katrina Dohn found that community through pickleball, which she declares to be “the antithesis of the Seattle Freeze.” Olive Minor found it at an open-mic storytelling series where she gained “a sense of belonging in Seattle that I’ve never had before.”
We wanted to know more: Where do Greater Seattle residents discover that special group, venue or activity? That eventual home away from home?
Luckily, readers were generous with sharing what’s worked for them — from ballroom dance classes to atheist book discussions. Most of their suggestions fell into seven categories below.
Put the “active” in “activities”
In a state known for its outdoors obsession, it’s no surprise countless readers recommended active pastimes.
Besides nature-focused groups such as The Mountaineers, they mentioned skate parks, open-water swimming groups, recreational sports teams and more. Check city websites, YMCAs, Facebook groups or organizations including Seattle’s Underdog Sports Leagues for active, inviting places to meet new people.
Options abound, but readers seemed particularly passionate about sports involving nets.
“Seattle is the best — thanks to tennis!” said James Milton Smith, who’s made more than 50 connections through the sport. “They are some of my bestest friends EVER!”
In Dohn’s experience, pickleball, Washington’s official state sport, is the clear winner when it comes to making friends.
“While I am not new in Seattle, I have met and made more new friends in the five months since I took up pickleball than I have in the last many years of being involved in other activities in the region,” she said. “As someone told me when I was first trying out this sport, ‘Pickleball people are almost always nice people.’ ”
Walk your dog (or just yourself)
There are more dogs in this city than children, according to census data from a few years ago. Not only are dogs everywhere and adorable, but they’re also great icebreakers, readers say.
Even Liz Hammel, with a self-described “naturally unsocial temperament,” made herself say hello to every passerby while walking her dog — and it worked!
“I have since made lasting friendships with other dog walkers,” Hammel reports. “I suppose I have melted my own Freeze with this small change in my behavior.”
No dog? No excuses. You can still stop and ask about other people’s canine companions, pointed out a reader named Larry. In fact, the odds of people speaking to you without a dog-based incentive are still quite good.
Harry Kautzman from Bothell estimates that about 80% of people respond to “hello” when strolling by. Stu Haas, who greets passersby while running 6 miles around Magnolia every weekday, says in post-pandemic times, 75%-80% of people respond to “good mornings.”
If that sounds like a lot of exertion, you can also take after David Smail of Rainier Beach: Simply put out a bowl of dog treats, hang out in your yard and chat up the humans while their dogs munch.
“After three months, I have established a rapport with many of the regulars (and their furry friends) that has helped to make me feel welcome here!” Smail said.
Go online to meet people IRL
To be clear, readers are concerned about how technology can exacerbate the city’s anti-socialness.
Hammel, for example, does not appreciate Seattleites who “whip out their phones whenever they accidentally make eye contact.”
But you can also use the digital age to your advantage.
My neighborhood Facebook group has also been a great way to build community and get to know my neighbors,” Sophia Pollock said.
Rita White says Meetup, a digital platform for hosting and attending various types of gatherings, “truly changed my social life.”
“After five years of going to work and going home every day, I joined Meetup to go to restaurants and enjoy the company of like-minded folks who like to eat and cook food … . What better way to meet people in a new environment than through mutual interests that are not work related?” said White, who assures us “I am NOT a Meetup shill.”
Nearly any sort of get-together you can imagine probably exists on Meetup. A quick search in the Seattle area reveals that people nearby would like to meet up to go paddle boarding, read books silently but together, practice facing rejection and learn about artificial intelligence, among other activities.
Become a regular … somewhere
A welcoming cafe or bar just might become your third place, readers attest.
For Tara Kearns, it was Good Weather Bicycle shop and cafe on Capitol Hill, which “became a gathering space” thanks to friendly owners and weekly meetups.
It was a special time and is a special place,” Kearns said.
For Josh Bishop, it’s the bar Diesel with its “surprisingly warm reception.”
Some folks mentioned their favorite spots, like Wallingford’s Sea Monster Lounge and Dimitriou’s Jazz Alley in downtown Seattle. But as one reader said, it’s not so much about the place as it is about the people.
Stephen Schwab offers this introvert-friendly approach: “Go to a coffee house and invite someone to sit next to you while you read your book or newspaper.”
Dance the night away
Whether it’s salsa, swing or some other style, Seattle’s social dance events often encourage participants to mix and mingle between songs. Hello, new dance partners!
I have met tons of new people at dances like this, and I find the experience carries over, making it easier for me to strike up conversations with random strangers,” Peter Shaw said.
Shaw’s favorite is the free Dancing Til Dusk series, which happens every summer in parks throughout Seattle. But there are plenty of options, from Kirkland’s LaVida Studio, which offers private and group classes, to salsa Thursdays at Aurora Borealis Event Center in Shoreline.
Do something kind for the world
After struggling to meet people as a new Seattleite and retiree, Kathy Frank started volunteering at Woodland Park Zoo.
“Being a volunteer at the zoo opened up an entire world,” she said. “It’s a way to meet other volunteers who become instant acquaintances, which often leads to lasting friendships.”
Other readers seconded that volunteering — from helping with park renovations to running summer camps — will get you in touch with other like-minded folks.
Sites including VolunteerMatch and AmeriCorps let you search for opportunities based on your interests. Many city government websites, including those for Seattle, Bellevue, Redmond and Kirkland, can also direct you to volunteer roles.
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