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Marriage to the correct person is wonderful. I waited, dated, and found the best man for me. Life became easier. He helped with everything but cooking and cleaning the toilet. He tried to cook, but we decided that it would be best left to me.
Getting sick? Lots easier to get well if there is someone there to help you.
Cornering chickens for slaughter? Definitely easier.
Preparing a garden, harvesting from the garden? Definitely easier.
Truthfully speaking I would probably have remarried, or tried to, had it not been for my daughter and her wonderful husband.
She also waited until she got the best pick! My son-in-law steps in to do many of the tasks my husband did.
I get lonely sometimes. But I made the choice long ago to remain single. I realized that being a husband and father was impossible. I simply lack the instincts to make it work. Just like the lack of instincts to get along with coworkers doomed my chances at having a career. Most likely, I have some sort of autism spectrum disorder.
I'm divorced, I was only married for a few years before we both realized we rushed into the damn thing. Being single again companionship is not an issue for me, I can get on a plane and find 10x women in any country looking for a foreigner. I can swipe all day on dating apps and find someone to date overseas (I travel routinely).
My issue is that I may want to have kids one day, with or without marriage. So I have to accept the fact that even if I find another long term partner one day and get kids, I don't necessarily want to be married. And it's not easy to tell someone that.
Having no kids and only being married for a few years has been a blessing, but accepting that one day I may want to have them is tough because again, I don't plan to be married.
I am approaching my mid-30s and never even kissed a romantic partner. Mostly due to fears that a relationship would interfere with school or career options that require relocation. I think I might start dating in a few years but will be very “ inexperienced” compared to most in the age group. If I had to give you a number, I would say there is a 40% chance of me ever getting married. I won’t pursue a long term relationship unless the person is truly uniquely worth it, enough to compensate for the downsides and risks of getting extra people involved in one’s life.
I'm single and have never wanted to be married or have children. I can honestly say it never occurred to me. Theoretically I suppose I still could (I have nothing against it) but realistically it won't happen, and as that is how I've lived my life, it doesn't bother me at all. Getting married is just something that other people do.
I agree there is a "self-sufficiency" aspect to the OP's question. Not being partnered or having children, I have very different considerations for later in life than most other people do. For instance, if I want to go into old age and death with any dignity, I'm going to need funds, especially at end of life I'll need to possibly have funds for a caregiver or to go into a hospice. I'm currently involved in looking after aging relatives, and I've dealt with having relatives die, and usually family members have to help out with all that. I'm the youngest in my family and very likely to be the last one left. I won't have any family left to care for me. This doesn't frighten me as it's a reality I've lived with all my life. I've been lucky enough to have been able to get a good start on financially preparing for that eventuality. I haven't done all the legal stuff I will need to arrange, however.
It's sobering to think that there are some women out there who would do anything not to "end up" single like me, even to the point of staying with abusive husbands or boyfriends. The idea that I'm living the life that they fear... just really blows my mind sometimes...
I am actually into a (modest) level of self-sufficiency preparedness - I camp, hike, etc and am interested in learning more basic skills because I think everyone should know them. I've camped alone in campgrounds full of RVs and families, and I still really enjoy being by myself to be honest! (I've also been camping with others, it's a different kind of fun.)
was married 3yrs to army girl late 80s. both us too young & in less than 3yrs divorced. dated only since. longterm, short term, etc. but best to find partner somewaht on board & compatilble -- w/ ur goals, ideals, etc.
not easy but then nothin worth having comes easy...
I am approaching my mid-30s and never even kissed a romantic partner. Mostly due to fears that a relationship would interfere with school or career options that require relocation. I think I might start dating in a few years but will be very “ inexperienced” compared to most in the age group. If I had to give you a number, I would say there is a 40% chance of me ever getting married. I won’t pursue a long term relationship unless the person is truly uniquely worth it, enough to compensate for the downsides and risks of getting extra people involved in one’s life.
May I ask what your career is? You sound very dedicated to it!
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