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I'm now the step-parent to a 27 year old autistic man and he still loves Halloween. But, he wants to go trick or treating around his neighborhood. Should we let him continue in blissful ignorance because in his heart he is six years old or tell him that it's probably best if he just hands out candy somewhere and still dress up? When you see him in a costume it's obvious that he is an adult, however once he says something and looks in your direction you can tell that he is autistic.
Our concern is that someday a parent of a small child might not understand why he is out going door to door.
Why not let him dress up at home to hand out the candy? I used to work with a few people who'd dress up for Halloween and they said the kids at the door got a kick out of it. Take your stepson to the store to pick out the candy, too; I bet he'll enjoy that.
I wouldn't worry about other parents. Aren't your neighbors quite aware of his autism by this point? If he's been participating in trick or treating for 26 years without any backlash, why stop now?
We have no problem with him dressing up and passing out candy. He lives in an apartment complex on his own, so will walk over to some of the neighborhoods that are close by. Because he is mentally and emotionally six years old he prefers the company of children. His actions are innocuous but have had a couple of incidents where the police were called because a parent couldn't understand why he was hanging out in the play area of the local pizza place. This doesn't happen often, only 1-2 times over the past decade. But being interviewed by police makes him very upset.
Now that he is putting on weight and getting a bald spot we are afraid that another parent might get upset because he looks a lot older than he did a few years ago.
I am sorry, but yes, I do have a problem with it. Since you are asking opinions, right?
A lot of people don't feel safe answering the door and there is a man wearing a mask and costume standing there. Especially if it's a person who lives alone.
I was a woman living alone for many years, and would appreciate people taking my feelings into consideration before deciding it's okay for a strange man wearing a mask to come to my door on Halloween.
If he lived with you and knew the neighbors his entire life I would have no problem with it. Otherwise I agree with post #5.
Your stepson is a grown man. He may think he is 6 but he shouldn't be around 6 year olds. I am surprised the police haven't been called more often. He could always be accused of something that never happened or was taken the wrong way. To me this is a much bigger deal than Halloween.
Are there any group events he could trick or treat at instead? Like a community trunk or treat sort of thing where the people in charge could be given a heads up about him? Or maybe he could go with a group, and thus be perceived as less threatening?
If he lived with you and knew the neighbors his entire life I would have no problem with it. Otherwise I agree with post #5.
Your stepson is a grown man. He may think he is 6 but he shouldn't be around 6 year olds. I am surprised the police haven't been called more often. He could always be accused of something that never happened or was taken the wrong way. To me this is a much bigger deal than Halloween.
We do our best to remind him to stay away from kids and 99% of the time he listens. However, because he does live independently it's tough to monitor him 24/7. He still watches Sesame Street and Barney on TV and is harmless. Already he is going to the Halloween store on a weekly basis because he is all fired up to get ready. This is a tough call for us.
I will have to see if one of the agencies that works with disabled adults is having any kind of Halloween party.
I'm now the step-parent to a 27 year old autistic man and he still loves Halloween. But, he wants to go trick or treating around his neighborhood. Should we let him continue in blissful ignorance because in his heart he is six years old or tell him that it's probably best if he just hands out candy somewhere and still dress up? When you see him in a costume it's obvious that he is an adult, however once he says something and looks in your direction you can tell that he is autistic.
Our concern is that someday a parent of a small child might not understand why he is out going door to door.
I worked for years at a specialized school for students with autism. Our program incorporated much practice in the areas of social skills and community-based interaction.our students were K-21. Every year, we would do Halloween "practice," to help the younger children run through the social skills needed to trick or treat. The older students would distribute the treats, dressing in costume if they chose.
Walking the line between age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate can be tough.
If he enjoys going door to door, is there a way you could arrange for him to "visit" known neighbors, and trick or treat, letting them know in advance? Or relatives? Then, after a preordained number of stops, he can be prepared to help distribute? A grown man truck or treating at strangers' doors can cause situations that could be hurtful to him, or even dangerous. I have seen community interactions with grown men with autism spiral into bad territory when strangers in the community fail to recognize that the individual has special needs, and wind up triggering aggressive behavior through their actions.Even if nothing that extreme occurs, people'say reactions can still be hurtful.
As others have mentioned, seeking out age-appropriate holiday functions put on by agencies that serve special needs populations, if you are in an area with such resources, would be good.
It is very important for his wellbeing and his safety to work with him to understand that grownups don't generally play with children they don't know. He could volunteer to help out in things like scouts or Sunday school programs, or even get a job in a school. One of my former students is a young woman, now, and enjoys helping children. She works three days a week as a lunchroom monitor at the elementary school she attended. This is an age-appropriate pursuit.
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