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LOL. Whoever was in charge of setting up the link title needed to double check themselves. I'm pretty certain they aren't keeping track of appropriate relationships. That should have been "in inappropriate". They had trouble within the article too. Nonetheless, that is a dubious trophy to get. I do wonder how they calculated this though. Most likely it is leading the nation in reported cases, which can be different than actual cases.
Now Pinkmani, I don't think I'm being negative about myself when I say I'm plump and middle-aged and I only said it to set myself apart from the idea that I might be one of those cute new teachers fresh out of school. I'm old enough to be this kid's grandmother--around here at least where if you haven't had your baby before you get out of HS you have one soon after. My dd's best friend had a baby over a year ago and she's only 22. But I digress--how many young men are hitting on their grandma's, Harold and Maude aside? So if I'm having this problem, it must be a lot more common than I thought. I don't think that's being negative and I'm actually happier about the way I look than I was at 30 but it's a matter of perception of course.
I've been thinking about how I'll handle this and I think I'll have a private conversation with my mentor teacher, a woman older than I am. I mean, I don't mind going to the beginning teacher workshop and being the oldest one there but if somehow this one gets out into the gossip stream, I'd be mortified and esp b/c I think public opinion would go against me.
It is not uncommon AT ALL, especially in special education, where you are more likely to have exposure to a number of students who have emotional instabilities and attachment problems, and also with students who are highly immature for their age and don't have the social skills to help them in appropriate commenting. When I had a 16-year old with Down Syndrome, who would habitually pat my arm and say, "Oh, I love you," nobody batted an eye, because he did that and said that to everyone in his life, not just me, not just people at school. Everyone. Then again, there was a kid with emotional and behavioral disturbance in my class who formed an inappropriate attachment to his para (who was only a few years older than him, young-looking, very petite and cute), and his behavior was solely focused on her. We did perform behavioral interventions, but she eventually requested a different placement, and rightfully so. It just wasn't a good fit, for that student's needs, and for her own professional comfortability. That student then got a male para.
Don't freak out about it. Just document, keep the appropriate parties informed and in the loop, and protect yourself. What is your home communication with the parents involved like? At mine, we would make a notation of inappropriate commenting that would go to the parents, as would all behavioral information.
Don't freak out about it. Just document, keep the appropriate parties informed and in the loop, and protect yourself. What is your home communication with the parents involved like? At mine, we would make a notation of inappropriate commenting that would go to the parents, as would all behavioral information.
Ah, good question and about all I know is that they didn't attend the last couple of IEP meetings and that tells a lot right there. Tried to go have a talk with mentor teacher but she had a meeting and I have to wait till tomorrow and something must be done b/c he left a heart with an I love you where I would find it. Can't prove it's meant for me of course, but in light of everything else I'll keep it for documentation purposes. But no, I'm not exactly freaking out--this is the lady who got knifed at school a few years ago and I am still choosing to do this lol. But I know these things can be tough navigating and if I had my druthers I'druther be knifed than have my reputation in tatters over something I didn't even do, so I will tread carefully. Also, it's crazy making b/c I literally am a first year teacher with 23 on a caseload, and 6 or those new transfers and having to navigate the paperwork with no help b/c everyone else is busy and trying to figure out how to teach comm arts, math, science, social studies, and life skills all at the same time! And a bunch of IEPs coming up! Wahhh, I want my mommy! The bright side is I get along great with the kids.
BTW, the boy's IQ is in the 70-80 range. I should think he's in a range to know better.
The kid may very well be yanking at the chain---so DOCUMENT and notify admin, the SpEd teacher if the kid has an IEP and the school social worker. Otherwise it might come back to be allegations against you when the kid says--I TOLD MS. X HOW I FELT LAST MONTH AND SHE SAID IT WAS OK...and they ask you and you say Yes..BUT...and it is too late.
The kid may very well be yanking at the chain---so DOCUMENT and notify admin, the SpEd teacher if the kid has an IEP and the school social worker. Otherwise it might come back to be allegations against you when the kid says--I TOLD MS. X HOW I FELT LAST MONTH AND SHE SAID IT WAS OK...and they ask you and you say Yes..BUT...and it is too late.
Well ahem, I am the sped teacher. I am new to the school but it's already obvious to me that I'm not going to get anywhere having a conversation with our counselor b/c I don't trust her at all at all and no one else does either so I'm not alone in that. There are people I can talk to--I just have to find someone who's not busy but I've got an appt with my mentor teacher today. At the last school I worked at when this happened, it was actually worse b/c he made reference to my breasts and I reported it and as far as I know, it just went into his file. I doubt there was ever any follow-up made and I was pretty irritated about that b/c that kid was dangerous I felt and I would not be a bit surprised if I heard he's raped someone. I felt they didn't take it seriously b/c of the age difference and I was a TA at the time and the case manager was much younger than me. My mentor is closer to my age and has been at the school for years so I feel that at least she won't be laughing behind my back at the absurdity of such a situation or thinking that I'm just flattering myself. As if.
This one though--I don't know. He doesn't seem emotionally disturbed at all--he has a group of friends and all are nice kids and all are cooperative in class if a bit silly when it's time to work--normal kid stuff. He's confident and his disability is not apparent at first to anyone talking to him. I highly suspect though with his lack of structure at home that he's been watching too many porn movies and is too immature to realize that this is not real life and people don't really behave like that. Except. . . that often they do or we wouldn't hear so much about this stuff in the news. I guess we can't blame a kid for hoping that we'll be one of the weak ones but I tend to be more attracted to men who are closer to my own age.
My very real personal experience is it doesn't matter if it is taken seriously or what if any action is taken--it is having the documentation that counts.
There was nothing as frightening as being hauled out of my classroom and the school by state police to be questioned about an allegation that a student made and when they ask if I had ever documented any inappropriate behavior by the student all I could say was "I didn't think they (admin) would do anything about it..."
And 6 months and $8000 for a lawyer later I get to come back to work after being cleared of wrong doing--at least it cannot be substantiated--and it just ain't the same as it used to be..
Just saying there is no room for wondering if it was serious or just a passing fad. It is not like it was in the 1970s when kids used to tell their teachers they loved them and it was cute.
My very real personal experience is it doesn't matter if it is taken seriously or what if any action is taken--it is having the documentation that counts.
There was nothing as frightening as being hauled out of my classroom and the school by state police to be questioned about an allegation that a student made and when they ask if I had ever documented any inappropriate behavior by the student all I could say was "I didn't think they (admin) would do anything about it..."
And 6 months and $8000 for a lawyer later I get to come back to work after being cleared of wrong doing--at least it cannot be substantiated--and it just ain't the same as it used to be..
Just saying there is no room for wondering if it was serious or just a passing fad. It is not like it was in the 1970s when kids used to tell their teachers they loved them and it was cute.
Oh my and I thought you were over-reacting a bit but now I see why you said what you did. It is documented--I talked to my mentor teacher but didn't mention names at first and she knew right away who I was talking about so that's a huge relief and I will press forward with speaking to the principal when I can pin him down. Yes, kid has quite a rep and it breaks my heart b/c I worked with him way back in 2nd grade as a sub and he followed me around like a puppy dog and was the cutest little thing. Hopefully we can help him grow out of this but he's had quite a "home" life.
Oh my and I thought you were over-reacting a bit but now I see why you said what you did. It is documented--I talked to my mentor teacher but didn't mention names at first and she knew right away who I was talking about so that's a huge relief and I will press forward with speaking to the principal when I can pin him down. Yes, kid has quite a rep and it breaks my heart b/c I worked with him way back in 2nd grade as a sub and he followed me around like a puppy dog and was the cutest little thing Hopefully we can help him grow out of this but he's had quite a "home" life.
But he's not in 2nd grade anymore.
You need to name names to your mentor teacher and principal.
These days something like this could easily land you in jail or court.
These days the teacher is guilty until proven innocent.
Do not treat this lightly.
Something happened at one school where I sub and this year no adult is allowed to touch a student in any way whatsoever. We even had to sign acknowledgements at sub training.
This is real serious stuff now and the teacher does not have the upper hand if something goes wrong.
Oh my and I thought you were over-reacting a bit but now I see why you said what you did. It is documented--I talked to my mentor teacher but didn't mention names at first and she knew right away who I was talking about so that's a huge relief and I will press forward with speaking to the principal when I can pin him down. Yes, kid has quite a rep and it breaks my heart b/c I worked with him way back in 2nd grade as a sub and he followed me around like a puppy dog and was the cutest little thing. Hopefully we can help him grow out of this but he's had quite a "home" life.
Hopefully it is 100% innocent and just a young boy being normal. The documentation will only protect you and him IF anything goes south or even if a third party (another student) starts spreading rumors based on hearsay.
I was lucky. At one point the accuser had 15 other students making allegations. Once the numbers of accusers reached 30-40 the authorities started questioning how it was possible that 40 students never said a word prior to this going public. That and the fact most of the students were saying the inappropriate behavors all happened on the same 2-3 days. They reasoned I would have had them lined up and just walk down the line to touch all 40 of them.
And this was in a psychiatric hospital where most of the students were medicated...
To this day I am NEVER alone in a room with any student at any time.
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