A Bit Of Fun Rivalry!!! Texas V Uk

[979Texan]

Originally Posted by Texas never leaves you!

Despite living many happy years in Texas I am also very proud of being British. In many ways the US of A is very much like Europe with Texas being like the UK. As British we much prefer being British as opposed to being European. I believe Texans have their own identity and although they are Americans they are Texan first and their culture and personality is a million miles away from, lets say a New Yorker's.
Through all my worldly travels and experiences I was wondering if the UK might be a little bit better than Texas. I'm sure one or two of you may not agree so I've composed a list of 99 good British things to assist in the debate;

1. The English Language
(The obvious)

2. The British Empire
(Ok, so it brought some bad things (and good), but expanding from a little tiny island to covering over ¼ of the world’s landmass is pretty good.)

3. World Wide Web (1989)
(A British person invented it then decided to build three WWW Headquarters in North America, Asia, and Europe so we can all comminute and tell the whole world 101 reasons to proud of being British)

4. Worlds Oldest Democracy
(Don’t know if its true, but I’ve read and heard that many times)

5. Soccer
(We invented it)

6. Rugby
(We invented that too)

7. Golf
(The home of Golf is in Scotland, and although the Americans seem to love that sport, we invented it for them)

8. Australia
(We are so good, that we even exported our lowest form of dead beats, murderers, rapists, and bread stealers and made a country out of them.)

9. Celebration of Independence
(We once owned so many countries that nearly every day some country celebrates independence from us)

10. Music
(Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd the list goes on)

11. Burger King
(I actually like Burger King more than McDonalds since it’s British owned)

12. Industrial Revolution
(I don’t have to explain how important this was to the modern world, but we started it)

Really important Inventions and Discoveries
13. Penicillin
14. Formulated Nuclear Model of the Atom
15. The Modern Atomic Theory
16. Antiseptic
17. Bar Codes (Industrial Use)
18. First modern model of the Bicycle
19. Circulation of Blood
20. Cells
21. Cement
22. Dye (started synthetic Dye Industry)
23. First electric cooking utensil
24. Electric Generator (lab model)
25. Arc Lamp
26. Electromagnet
27. Electrons
28. Theory of Evolution by natural selection
29. Fiber Optics
30. The Laws of Gravitation
31. Halley’s Comet
32. Helium first observed on the sun
33. Holograph
34. Interferon
35. Isotopes
36. Jet Propulsion (engine)
37. Lawn Mower
38. Nature of Light (Electromagnetic Theory)
39. Locomotive (steam powered) (first practical, due to multiple-fire-tube boiler)
40. Power driven Loom
41. The Earth is Magnet
42. Microphone
43. Laws of Motion
44. Electric Motor
45. Motor Tricycle
46. Neutron
47. Photography (discovery of fixative powers of hyposulfite of soda)
48. Piano (pianoforte with sustaining and damper pedals)
49. Plastics (first material, nitrocellulose softened by vegetable oil, camphor, precursor to Celluloid)
50. Proton (Ernest Rutherford, 1919)
51. Pulsars (Anthony Hewish and Jocelyn Bell Burnel, 1967
52. Radio (vacuum electron tube, basis for radio telephony) Sir John Fleming, 1904)
53. Breech Loaded Rifle
54. Royal Observatory (established in 1675 by Charles II)
55. Screw Propeller (Sir Francis P. Smith, 1836)
56. First accurate Seismograph (John Milne, 1880)
57. Spectrum (heterogeneity of light) Sir Isaac Newton, 1665–1666
58. Spinning Wheel (Saxony wheel, continuous spinning of wool or cotton yarn)
59. Spinning Jenny (James Hargreaves, 1764)
60. Spinning frame (Sir Richard Arkwright, 1769)
61. Steam Engine (first commercial Thomas Savery, 1639)
62. Atmospheric Steam Engine (Thomas Newcomen, 1705)
63. Symbolic Logic (Bertrand Russell, Alfred North Whitehead, 1910–1913)
64. Military Tank (Sir Ernest Swinton, 1914)
65. Reflecting Telescope (Isaac Newton, 1668)
66. Television (mechanical disk-scanning method) 1926
67. Tire (Pneumatic) Robert W. Thompson,1845
68. Bicycle Tire John B. Dunlop, 1888.
69. Uranus (first planet discovered in recorded history by William Herschel, 1781)
70. Vaccination (Edward Jenner, England, 1796)
71. Vacuum Cleaner (manually operated) Ives W. McGaffey, 1869;
72. Vacuum Cleaner (Electric) Hubert C. Booth, 1901

73. English Breakfast
(Eggs, Bacon, sausages, beans, chips, mushrooms, black pudding, all fried. Toast) Excellent!

74. S.A.S
(Best in the world! Ever! But that goes for most of our armed forces)

75. British Police
(We invented modern policing and can still do it with out guns)

76. Page Three
(How many daily newspapers around the world can you open that has a half naked woman at page 3?)

77. Humour
(We’ve got good humour)

78. Tea
(Milk, two sugars, water and a tea bag) (Coffee is for girls)

79. Sir Isaac Newton

80. Asylum Seekers
(We either give them a house, food, and clothes or give them £2,500 to go back and come again)

81. The Weakest Link, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Pop Idol,
(They’re British and International hits and we spread them like the horrible disease that they are. Ha Ha)

82. Dance music
(A lot of people apparently think that’s the best thing we’ve ever created)

83. Sky Sports News
(Any channel that’s sole purpose is showing soccerl news 24 hours a day must be good)

84. The freedom to right a cheque in any form
(Americans spell it as check even though they can’t differentiate between the other word meaning “Check” as in “Okay/Right/understood”) But anyway, you can write a cheque in this country on toilet paper and it is considered a perfect legal document.

85. Cut your Bill Rates
(Its true, in England you can cut your bill rates by demolishing your house. If you can only afford half of your council tax, then just demolish half of your house.)

86. Pay in Stamps
(You can pay for a taxi using stamps in England, and you can also sue him if he refuses).

87. Criminal Sentences
(What ever Criminal sentence you receive in England, chances are they will be cut by half).

History of executing Kings and Queens (badly)

88. Mary Queen of Scots execution was a good example. She was taken from her cell into the Great Hall of Fotheringaym Castle and prepared for her decapitation. Infront of a crowd of around a hundred people, the 44-year-old Queen knelt with her head on a block ready for the axeman’s blade. Wallop. There then followed a groan from the victim followed by the words “Sweat Jesus” Apparently the executioner had missed his target, only grazing the side of Mary’s skull. Trying again to server Mary’s head, he failed again and admitted defeat by finishing the job with a shaw!

89. Edward II
Edward the II was a homosexual, and when he abdicated as King, he was murdered by having a red-hot poker thrust repeatedly up his anus.

90. Charles II
When he suffered what is now thought of as a stroke in 1685, Charlies team of physicians were summoned to cure him. First they extracted a quarter of his blood and then drained him using powerful emetics and enemas. Then they shaved his scalp, singed it with hot irons, filled his nose with sneezing powder, covered him in hot plasters then ripped them off. All that failed too, so did rubbing his feet with a mixture of resin and pigeon droppings. Charles finally died after they trepanned his head.

91. Inventions
Over the past 50 years according to Japanese research, more than 40% of discoveries taken up on a worldwide basis originated in the United Kingdom.

Other inventions

92. Dog Bell
(When your dog wants to come in, he scratches the door, if you have a dog bell connected to it, you’ll hear the bell ring).

93. Self Sprinkling Armchair
(A North Yorkshire upholstery company had the perfect solution for those people who fall asleep in front of the TV with a lighted cigarette - an armchair that puts out fires.
The armchair was to be fitted with heat sensors and a pair of multi-head sprinkler nozzles. As soon as the heat detectors sensed a fire they activated the sprinkler system, which immediately blanketed the chair in foam).

94. Grand Theft Auto
(The British thought of this game, originally designed for the Commodore Amiga. It is the best).

95. Winston Churchill, being a drunk, educated and escape from a Prisoner of War camp is pretty good.

96. The English channel
(That little channel make us 1,000 miles away from Mainland Europe, which is a good thing).

97. Crop Circles.

98. The word "muppet"

99. Kilts
(No other men can wear skirts like us Scots)