Texas endearments -- Ladies opinions welcome fer shore!

[TexasHorseLady]

Interesting. I'm much more concerned with the true attitude of the person I'm socializing OR doing business with, rather than the particular words they use (which may or may not be indicative of that attitude). I don't tend to use those terms myself, professionally or socially, but if a person treats me with respect, if they call me "hon", I'm not likely to take offense - in fact, I'd feel that I was trying very hard to find something to be offended by, if I did.

[GayleTX]

Seems like Texans (or maybe southerners in general) call people by their names in conversation more than some people do........and if we don't know their name we just feel the 'need' to call them something.....so it usually comes out as sweetie or babe or hon.

[CallMeLaura]

Originally Posted by TexasHorseLady

Interesting. I'm much more concerned with the true attitude of the person I'm socializing OR doing business with, rather than the particular words they use (which may or may not be indicative of that attitude). I don't tend to use those terms myself, professionally or socially, but if a person treats me with respect, if they call me "hon", I'm not likely to take offense - in fact, I'd feel that I was trying very hard to find something to be offended by, if I did.

While it's true that people have slightly different interpretations of the meanings of words, your subconscious plays a big role in your diction. I would say that it's easier to get someone's true attitude from their word choice than any demeanor they temporarily don. Almost every word or phrase out there has a synonym or two, and the connotation of the one you choose speaks volumes, as it were.

If you could only mean what was said, irony wouldn't exist. Since irony is well defined, it should be obvious that meaning can be conveyed beyond the specific words used. (Or, don't try to tell me it's respectful to be called Hon in a business setting...)

[blueskies49]

Originally Posted by case44

Problem here is that I've been on the wrong end of it.

Aw, case, I'm sorry!

Originally Posted by tstone

In the Houston-Galveston area, I notice ma'am and sir are used fairly regularly. I use it every so often out of politeness. However, I rarely ever hear the shug, sweetheart, hun, or dear stuff, nor do I very often hear "bless your heart." (Same goes for San Antonio when I visit.) I actually look to that as somewhat impolite, passive-aggressive or uneducated behavior, but it's nothing to be bothered about. When I do hear it, I know I'm out in the country or close to it. Or maybe somewhere in DFW. I hear it there (and the whole Southern accent) a lot more than in Houston or SA. That's not to say I don't hear it - it's just a bit more neutral-diluted down here.

What CallMeLaura, Gretchen and others have said - I agree, too, that it's not appropriate in a business setting, especially a meeting; however, I'll qualify that by saying it depends what kind of a setting, IMO anyway. I work in a very informal industry, construction materials testing to be exact, and consequently alot of the men are your good ol' boys, country and redneck types. I once had a boss from Arkansas, an engineer no less, call me doll or babe and my current boss is a few years younger than me and he's from Mississippi, he calls me dear or babe. Contractors on the phone will sometimes call me sweetheart, hon, etc. But these are the guys you can tell are Texan/Southern by their accents.

If we're not in a meeting or I know they're not coming on to me, etc., it doesn't bother me.

[Gretchen_SDCA]

Originally Posted by blueskies49

Aw, case, I'm sorry!



What CallMeLaura, Gretchen and others have said - I agree, too, that it's not appropriate in a business setting, especially a meeting; however, I'll qualify that by saying it depends what kind of a setting, IMO anyway. I work in a very informal industry, construction materials testing to be exact, and consequently alot of the men are your good ol' boys, country and redneck types. I once had a boss from Arkansas, an engineer no less, call me doll or babe and my current boss is a few years younger than me and he's from Mississippi, he calls me dear or babe. Contractors on the phone will sometimes call me sweetheart, hon, etc. But these are the guys you can tell are Texan/Southern by their accents.

If we're not in a meeting or I know they're not coming on to me, etc., it doesn't bother me.

I think I know what you mean, and they may not mean badly by it, but I think these good ol' boys types often use it because (1) they have never been educated otherwise or (2) because they still harbor some sexist notions towards women. I just don't think it has a place in the business world - an engineer should know better.

This problem, BTW, is not unique to TX. We have some clients in Bakersfield, CA [where there are lots of these good ol' boy types] who also do this type of thing over the phone. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming that they are not being sexist, but simply have not been raised any better, and so I will usually say something like "feel free to address me as Ms. ...." They usually get it quickly, and the problem is solved.

[blueskies49]

Bakersfield, huh? If I remember correctly, that town historically had a great number of migrants from Texas, Oklahoma and Arkansas after the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. Would make sense! But, and this is just what I see on tv, not from experience, it seems as if your average, blue-collar New Yorker addresses women in the same way. Have you noticed that?

[Gretchen_SDCA]

Originally Posted by blueskies49

Bakersfield, huh? If I remember correctly, that town historically had a great number of migrants from Texas, Oklahoma and Arkansas after the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. Would make sense! But, and this is just what I see on tv, not from experience, it seems as if your average, blue-collar New Yorker addresses women in the same way. Have you noticed that?

Yep, I think you are right. Just as I said, this is not a TX problem. Incidentally, you are right about Bakersfield. Many who live there absolutely love it. I find it hard to share their passion for it, and luckily I can do most of my work with clients there by teleconferencing from San Diego. I think if I were Texan, and lived there, I'd consider moving back lol! It has, of course, some of the cheapest real estate in CA, but that wouldn't lure me there for the world.