Texas endearments -- Ladies opinions welcome fer shore! (transplants, restaurants)

[TexasReb]

Fellow Texans...especially the lovely wimmin folk amongst us...

I have been meaning to ask this one for quite a while. That is, all of us natives at least over the age of 30 know that the use of terms like "hon" and "darlin" and "sweetheart" are oft used in Texas between strangers, male and female. It is just the Texas/Southern way.

Very common in small cafes and restaurants, especially...the "big-haired" waitress comes up and asks "you need some more tea, hon?" Or a man refers to a close female friend as "sweetheart" or whatever.

ANYWAY, it has been MY experience that this natural fact (use of endearments) is insulting to many women who have moved down here from the North.

What do y'all think?

[NOTAM]

if they are insulted, then they can head back Nawth or from wherever they came from..unless they are incarcerated in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, they aint here against their will, and if they are incarcerated, they sure aint bein' called hon or darlin ha ha!

[TexasReb]

Originally Posted by bellestaroftexas

if they are insulted, then they can head back Nawth or from wherever they came from..unless they are incarcerated in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, they aint here against their will, and if they are incarcerated, they sure aint bein' called hon or darlin ha ha!

You ain't gonna get no argument out of ME, Miss Belle...darlin'!

[TexasHorseLady]

I think it's a matter of taking oneself too seriously, or coming from a place where such terms are used to denigrate one's competence and not being confident enough to realize that such terms when used that way are essentially powerless and say more about the speaker than the one spoken to.

Doesn't bother me, as I'm capable of telling the difference and dealing with it when it's the latter. In a ladylike manner, of course. (Think Lady Bird.)

[blueskies49]

I don't think anything of it, it's a way of life in Texas. I do know some women here from CA or the north don't like it. It's not just men using these terms with women, it's women, too, of all ages. I've had teen girls call me "hon" a time or two! And judging from their accents, they are originally from a small town. The city girls don't do that. At least not until they get older.

I've been called hon, darlin, doll, sweetheart, etc., both from guys I know as well as those I don't know. In fact, whenever I DO hear it, it reminds me that it's less frequently due to the many transplants.

[Mom2Feebs]

I love it. It's something that in my travels around this fine country, you don't get in many places. I always equate it with a sense of friendliness and honesty. Now, when you start using it like, "Heya, sweetheart, nice *insert body part here*..." then we've got a problem.

I hear them more from women though, I think, than men, unless those men are over a certain age (60+).

[TexasReb]

Great observations and posts from the Texas ladies here.

I think that, as you alluded to, Mom2, that the intention has a lot to do with whether or not is is acceptable. AND the age of the parties involved, if I can add TO that.

*struggling for the right words* It has to do with a "right raising" as to instinctively know whether it is proper or not. A certain Southern social osmosis, if you will. LOL

A 20 year old kid doesnt directly address a 40 year old woman as "sugar"...but SHE might refer to HIM that way!

Oh hell...as I said...there are just certain things that make sense only if known!

[case44]

The way I look at it, from a guy's perspective, I have to be careful nowadays wherever I go. In my workplace, it's not allowed at all. But in a lot of other places I frequent (restaurants, shops, etc), it's a common practice to use "sweetie" and "hon", and such. At least, that's where it's happening and you do hear it. It depends on where you are. Some places, it's just not proper.

But when she calls me sweetie, baby, or hon, it's always a great feeling!

[TexasReb]

Originally Posted by case44

But when she calls me sweetie, baby, or hon, it's always a great feeling!

*grins* And gets more and more flattering the older we get, right Case?

[Topaz]

Anything but "ma'am" as it makes me feel ancient.