Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I saw on TV the other day how J.Van Der Sloot was getting marriage proposals left and right since he's been incarcerated. And, on TV the other night, it showed the Night Stalker getting a proposal and marrying a magazine editor while he was in prison for his horrible crimes.
Why are these women doing it? Attraction to the ultimate "bad boy"? Unavailability/safety of marrying a criminal (don't have to worry about being cheated on or picking up their dirty socks, etc.) Mental Illness? Other reasons?
I can not comprehend these women except to give my theories.
1, The ones that you already guessed -attraction to the ultimate bad boy -and I might add a safe bad boy because he is behind bars! Not having to worry about cheating and knowing where your man is at all times - I second all of these thoughts and they have been proposed by others on a television show I have seen a few times by experts on the subject.
2. My guesses are just that- guesses but here is what I will add
insecurity, low self esteem and masochism. Some of these woman travel hundreds of miles just to see these men for an hour or so. Lots of sacrifice involved. others relocate them selves and heir children.
3. Most of the women are of a low socio-economic background
4. MOST but not all are unattractive by most standards and might not be able to "get a man" otherwise.
i think they are nuts!
I think a lot of women want to play social-worker and change the 'bad apples' in society. A prisoner would be a prime target for women like that. The ultimate 'project'. Personally I'd sooner become a nun.
I am certain there are many factors, but for the women who go for men on death row or serving life sentences (or multiple life sentences), I think a big factor is that feeling of certainty that he can't go anywhere. It gives her some control and power. From the interviews I have watched with these women, they often have a history of abusive relationships. So a man locked in a prison cell feels pretty safe to them. They can have a feeling of false intimacy- letters and talking on the phone- which is very euphoric. Its like living in a romance novel. They don't have to deal with the man in real, day-to-day terms- his dirty underwear on the floor, his moodiness, etc. So I believe many of these relationships are based on fantasy. I can see how a women who has been abused, there could be a big draw for a relationship with a man who will be locked up forever.
True it is a fantasy relationship. They do not have to pay bills together and argue about cutting the grass - or dirty laundry as you wrote,
And there is the false intimacy - no sex in many cases.
For some women this could be a good thing.
In order to understand a person's behavior, you have to look for the positives they get out of doing it. When you look at the positives women get out of these types of relationships (men in prison/death row), its not too difficult to understand why they do it. It doesn't mean their motivations are healthy, but for them, there have to be some rewards, otherwise they would not do it.
You wonder if they ever worry about their criminal mates hiring someone to get them, too, if they misstep or divorce them. I guess they like living on the edge anyways, so any added element of fear, anxiety probably is enjoyable!! Interesting the lives people choose for themselves, when there are so many other options available for company)--ie getting a pet, volunteer work, teaching a kid to read, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
