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Or see on TV. Right now I am reading 'A Rose for Her Grave' by Ann Rule. This guy named Randy Roth worms his way into a family and destroys them. He has some special liking of destroying families. My emotion is hatred for that guy. I am only part way through so he isn't done yet and there are a few more to go but after about 100 pages I am already feeling a deep hatred for him personally.
@ nickerman : I've seen on YouUbe a film of fiction with the same synopsys (I don't remember the title unfortunately). By the way I learnt that Ann Rule passed away recently ? a big loss!
Mostly amazement and disgust that there are so many sick, stupid, or crazy people among us.
I see patterns in the stories, most notably that people, especially women, need to be very, very careful who they associate with and bring around their families. Most criminal minds seem to be completely narcissistic in nature, with no empathy whatsoever as to the harm they cause to other people and the permanent devastation they cause to lives.
That's my main thought when I watch them too, RogueMom. Pay attention to your gut, because if you think they want you dead, they probably do. Don't stick around for anything. Get yourself and your kids out! It doesn't matter if you're a tough man. Bullets go right through even the toughest of men.
The criminals that bug me the most are the men and women who serial marry, get insurance policies on their spouse, then stage an accident to kill them. That would be just awful to know someone married you whilst planning your demise during the ceremony.
I think they bug me the most because it would be so hard to detect. They act like the perfect spouse, loving and caring. They have to make everyone believe they truly loved you in order to deflect accusations when you die. How would you know you're just dollar signs to them? At least with the other types who kill out of anger or misogyny you can see it in their personalities and avoid them. That's what scares me -- there would be few if any "tells" that that is what they are planning.
Thank goodness for the internet, it's fairly easy to do background checks on any potentially serious partners. See if any exes died in accidents. Find exes on facebook, or their surviving family, and see if they will tell you about the person's temperament, if they were abusive to spouse or kids, etc. etc. etc.
Thank goodness for the internet, it's fairly easy to do background checks on any potentially serious partners. See if any exes died in accidents. Find exes on facebook, or their surviving family, and see if they will tell you about the person's temperament, if they were abusive to spouse or kids, etc. etc. etc.
Exactly. Nothing wrong these days with getting a background check someone - even before date #1.
It seems that many women (and men) are so often so desperate for companionship that they fail to ask and question what should be explained right at the beginning. Right after my divorce, I dated someone who turned out to be a dangerous personality. I was lucky enough to get out of the situation quickly, but a simple background (and credit) check would have told me plenty right away. I think of myself as intelligent and able to spot BS, but this guy was good, and I WANTED it to be what it just wasn't. I'll not hesitate to do a check on the next potential "suitor".
I also see a pattern in crime stories, and on the news, of dangerous "friends of the family". Usually some loser guy (sometimes a woman)that has somehow endeared himself to a family enough that they feel safe around him, but his intentions turn out to be sinister in the long run. The lesson is again, be very careful who you associate with, and who you bring around your family. Forget giving the "benefit of the doubt", make people earn your trust.
I don't watch television nor do I become emotionally invested in a fantasy character.
Real crime stories are not all of the details so again there is no one to become emotionally attached to since I more than likely did not know the person(s) in the stories.
Exactly. Nothing wrong these days with getting a background check someone - even before date #1.
It seems that many women (and men) are so often so desperate for companionship that they fail to ask and question what should be explained right at the beginning. Right after my divorce, I dated someone who turned out to be a dangerous personality. I was lucky enough to get out of the situation quickly, but a simple background (and credit) check would have told me plenty right away. I think of myself as intelligent and able to spot BS, but this guy was good, and I WANTED it to be what it just wasn't. I'll not hesitate to do a check on the next potential "suitor".
I also see a pattern in crime stories, and on the news, of dangerous "friends of the family". Usually some loser guy (sometimes a woman)that has somehow endeared himself to a family enough that they feel safe around him, but his intentions turn out to be sinister in the long run. The lesson is again, be very careful who you associate with, and who you bring around your family. Forget giving the "benefit of the doubt", make people earn your trust.
What will a credit check tell you?
For me it would be good because guys who aren't good with money really irritate me. I could NOT be married to one who insists on spending more than they have. But that's just a personal pet peeve.
Is there an indication about safety issues you can get from a credit report?
In my case, while a background check would have shown me a past dotted with episodes of disorderly conduct, a credit check would have shown me that his past and current financial situation did not match up with what he portrayed.
While I am not a particularly materialistic person, I do expect someone pushing 40 to have achieved some level of financial responsibility. It's one thing for someone to come up against hard times or unexpected job loss and have a bankruptcy or blip on their credit score. It's another to have a repeated pattern of frequent job changes, auto and other repossessions, etc.
I have always been very responsible financially. I think it is a reflection of common sense and maturity. I also know from my former marriage that differences in opinions on how money is handled is a huge factor in harmony in a relationship.
This guy was telling me that he was living at home temporarily with his parents while a realtor was helping him find the "right property". The reality was, his terrible credit history would not have afforded him the opportunity to buy a paper bag to live in. Ultimately, it would have told me he was an outright liar, and that right there is a big red safety flag.
I recently saw a TC show where a guy targeted older women to romance. He told them he was waiting on money from a home sale out of the country and asked for money. They would give it to him with the promise to pay it back in six months when his check came through, and of course he never did. He'd bleed them dry then move on to the next one. Most he would just disappear on, but one he killed. Guess she had insurance or something.
A quick credit check would have told them the guy never had any money in the past and probably never even lived where he claimed the house was.
I see patterns in the stories, most notably that people, especially women, need to be very, very careful who they associate with and bring around their families. Most criminal minds seem to be completely narcissistic in nature, with no empathy whatsoever as to the harm they cause to other people and the permanent devastation they cause to lives.
They're almost never unique in their game, I watch for the patterns of behaviors too in stories that fit narcissistic or malignant narcissist profiles.
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