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Location: Ft. Washington/Oxon Hill border, MD (Prince George's County)
321 posts, read 813,661 times
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first, you should always be using protection regardless race, socioeconomic status, age, geographic location etc.; there are people that do not have enough self respect for themselves or those they are with across all those categories
yes, there are a lot of whorish men in this area...I dated my share of professional and blue collar before marrying (thank goodness I am so happy not to be out there any more!) and I know from my own experience and those of my girlfriends (and frankly our non-black friends and work colleagues complain of the same infidelity and man ***** stories on the singles scene so it is not exclusively a black issue); I am from the midwest originally and found more black men there were interested in one on one relationships and also into marrying sooner than they are in this area...there were man whores there also but not to the extent that I witnessed in this area so I was equally as surprised as you are when I first moved here...the dating scene is VERY different
yes there are a lot of single (and not single but that is a whole other topic) professional black men juggling multiple women and not consistently protecting themselves and leading many women to believe they are the only one so they can keep the harem going
yes there are a lot of men who are loathe to strap up (yet there are also many that don't play with their health like that...I married one and it was one of the things that I found very attractive about him...that he had the self control to stop and go get something if none were available or forgo it altogether...on his own with out pressing from me...but I have to say he was a rarity and we never were intimate without protection until we got married...the typical scenario for myself and many girlfriends was that we had to insist on it as many guys we encountered would try to get away without using anything..the whole 'feels better' excuse I guess). He also didn't have any kids...which is telling in itself regarding his commitment to not going raw....yet another quality I found attractive as there are plenty of men with kids out of wedlock around here....especially when dating 30somethings.
frankly I think most women know when they are with a man *****...take note and pass them up for someone that shares your philosophy about "single sex in the city"...I know too many women that know they are with a man that has man ***** tendencies but overlook it or try to see if they can change him because they are desperate for love and affection; there are brothas around here that do not want to rush into intimacy when they have found someone special, there are brothas that are seeking a serious relationship or at least a monogamous one, there are brothas here that do not have unprotected sex, there are brothas here that are not man whores, there are even brothas here that are celibate (yep I met a couple of them when I was dating...blew my mind)...seek those guys out and pass up the others and you should be fine
frankly I think most women know when they are with a man *****...take note and pass them up for someone that shares your philosophy about "single sex in the city"...I know too many women that know they are with a man that has man ***** tendencies but overlook it or try to see if they can change him because they are desperate for love and affection; there are brothas around here that do not want to rush into intimacy when they have found someone special, there are brothas that are seeking a serious relationship or at least a monogamous one, there are brothas here that do not have unprotected sex, there are brothas here that are not man whores, there are even brothas here that are celibate (yep I met a couple of them when I was dating...blew my mind)...seek those guys out and pass up the others and you should be fine
AMEN-I don't know how many women I come across who I tell them from JUMP-This man is NO good....you can TELL it, the signs could be as simple as "oh he doesn't help pay for dinner on the first date" or "when it rains he doesnt try to protect me"....just small selfish things a man can do which tells you he does not care about your well-being, he could be dressed in a suit with a ferrari, and a mansion and you can TELL but they just ignore the signs *smh*
and these are the first women who come up to me yelling about black men and their cheating ways and decide to live like Cat-Owner church hermits because they were hurt by a man who wasn't right for them in the FIRST place and they choose to not use their feminine instincts and God-Given Common Sense
Your man sounds like mine, the men we have are "protectors"...they have our best interests at heart and honestly like I said before, I test regularly....
I believe that AIDS education is skewed slightly and the information given is STILL slanted by fear and this is not 1980....I may offend some people right now, but I believe the ONLY true way to fight this disease is through HONESTY and REGULAR Information about you and your partner's bodies..........Helena, did you know A FAST growing group of AIDS victims around the world are ACTUALLY married women?? ....Condoms work with HIV but they don't work with all STDs and abstinence only works before you get married. Inevitably that abstinent woman will need to have sex and she needs to make sure that she has found the right man to sleep with, virgin or not...I sympathize with you because I lost my virginity very late in life but I do not regret it because I made a personal choice and was not fearful....Finding a man who you know will have your back solves majority of the problem right there
Anyways.....AIDS can be spread through many different ways and if you plan on marrying you NEED to make sure that you and your husband regardless are open with each other when talking about what goes on with your bodies. unsterilized needles or blood transfusions can spread it so if your husband goes to the hospital or donates blood you need to honestly make sure he comes home healthy from the visit. Some women I know wouldn't even have a clue if their guy went for a charity blood drive because their communication with each other is just that skewed. If your husband gets a new tattoo again, test him and make sure he's safe during it...if your husband goes to jail for a short time and his behavior seems off, heck he could have been a victim of assault and rape. I don't know how many young black men I met who were victims of some sort of sexual abuse in prison (and even younger men/boys through the horrible foster care system), were infected, and had to deal with the horrible stigma of being "downlow" (even though they were victims)AND having HIV trying to piece their lives together after such trauma.............I'm just being honest on the alternate ways a man can be infected through no fault of his own after you get married...........MOST cases are spread through infidelity , but you're gonna have to trust your husband with your life in most matters.financial, economic, and yes..sexual so choose someone that you can trust in the beginning and make testing a regular practice for your married relationship.... even when you're single (lol even when I was a virgin, I still tested just because)
off topic***I almost like to think that when God mentioned people worshipping "false idols" he meant black women trying to commit to men who weren't good for them in the first place and who thought the piece of mud they had was glittering Gold
*Sigh*
Apparently if you have a problem in you life, find the nearest black male and blame him and it will all be good....what is the rate now for AA males with aids/the gay/ the downlow? After reading and listening to ebony/essence/oprah/tv/radio I would think its hovering at 1 out of 1.5..
*Sigh*
Apparently if you have a problem in you life, find the nearest black male and blame him and it will all be good....what is the rate now for AA males with aids/the gay/ the downlow? After reading and listening to ebony/essence/oprah/tv/radio I would think its hovering at 1 out of 1.5..
To answer your question, according to the DC Dept. of Health, 1 in 15 black men in DC are infected with HIV/AIDS.
Also, let's not pretend that the DC population is not heavily homosexual and/or bisexual.
Presently gay/bisexual black males have the highest rate of HIV (1 in 3) than any other group. I just think more black women need to be aware of this, because their health is definitely in jeopardy.
Please see below. I think this video speaks a lot of truth...
This vid is so sad, but in truth, hollywood needs to make more movies like this, because it actually educates black women about this type of lifestyle and they of course can take corrective action.
You sound very intelligent but at the same time a little misguided. I don't care if you are in Utah or Hell's Kitchen, NY, every person you meet could have HIV. You have to be selective and very particular with the people you date. We know that DC does have a high rate of AIDS cases but so does every major metro area. Stop letting news reports scare you.
Hi Helena...I can certainly understand your fear of dating black men in DC with the high rate of HIV/AIDS...however....most of the men you will meet there will probably be just like you....fresh out the gates in a new city....when I lived in DC years ago...I rarely ever met a guy from DC...and I lived there 3 years....I'm just saying....just have fun and enjoy your experiences there....you don't have to sleep with every guy you meet...or not at all for that matter...and guess what...if you do decide your ready to sleep with a guy....make a date with the clinic and you two just get tested.....Problem Solved!
Thanks for your advice, but I do not plan to sleep with any guys.
On another note, I love DC; It truly has a lot to offer. I'm especially fond of the jazz clubs. The quality of DC Jazz music is unbeatable. Recently I saw Chico Hamilton (a legendary jazz musician) at the bohemian caverns. He's in his late 80's and still performing great swing music. Now that was a real treat!!
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. If your husband gets a new tattoo again, test him and make sure he's safe during it...if your husband goes to jail for a short time and his behavior seems off, heck he could have been a victim of assault and rape. I don't know how many young black men I met who were victims of some sort of sexual abuse in prison (and even younger men/boys through the horrible foster care system), were infected, and had to deal with the horrible stigma of being "downlow" (even though they were victims)AND having HIV trying to piece their lives together after such trauma.............I'm just being honest on the alternate ways a man can be infected through no fault of his own after you get married...........MOST cases are spread through infidelity , but you're gonna have to trust your husband with your life in most matters.financial, economic, and yes..sexual so choose someone that you can trust in the beginning and make testing a regular practice for your married relationship.... even when you're single (lol even when I was a virgin, I still tested just because)
