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Thank you in advance for the help. My cousin is getting ready to have a child and is also getting married in about a year. He and I are very close and speak several times during the week and usually on the weekends as well.
While planning for his wedding and those who were going to be involved I have been told several times that I would indeed be in the wedding. He has 10 people on his side as well as does the bride.
At our family Easter yesterday he was asked to name some of the people in the wedding as I was sitting there he never acknowledged me or named me as one of the people. He did name friends and others who are not related to him though.
I went home and thought about things and had a very hard time sleeping. I did text him (almost 20 hours ago) and he has not returned my message. I reminded him that he asked me several times previously to be in the wedding, but that I was looking for an official "yes or no." I told him I was not mentioned in the list of names while I was sitting directly across from him. I did confront the issue and was ignored. I would have called but he ignores my phone calls all the time.
This morning i called a mutual friend who is indeed in the wedding and they were contacted several weeks ago to be in it. He told me the groom stated to him that he and myself have been growing apart and that there is unlikely going to be a spot for me even after I was promised one.
The relationship with me and the future groom has been growing thin, I can agree to this. But, he is very into going out, drinking and he does not have a license due to past alcohol problems. So, if I want to see him I have to go pick him up. We are in different stages in our lives and he and I do argue, which is very awkward for me and I have even posted about him in the past. However, I would be 50% less angry if he was honest with me.
In short I am seeking the advice from this forum. I am find myself in a situation with him that is very hurtful and unforgivable. We are family, but no one seems to have a problem with this but me. I understand that it is HIS wedding but that if you were promised a spot you would wonder where that spot went off to.
Thank you in advance for the help. My cousin is getting ready to have a child and is also getting married in about a year. He and I are very close and speak several times during the week and usually on the weekends as well.
While planning for his wedding and those who were going to be involved I have been told several times that I would indeed be in the wedding. He has 10 people on his side as well as does the bride.
At our family Easter yesterday he was asked to name some of the people in the wedding as I was sitting there he never acknowledged me or named me as one of the people. He did name friends and others who are not related to him though.
I went home and thought about things and had a very hard time sleeping. I did text him (almost 20 hours ago) and he has not returned my message. I reminded him that he asked me several times previously to be in the wedding, but that I was looking for an official "yes or no." I told him I was not mentioned in the list of names while I was sitting directly across from him. I did confront the issue and was ignored. I would have called but he ignores my phone calls all the time.
This morning i called a mutual friend who is indeed in the wedding and they were contacted several weeks ago to be in it. He told me the groom stated to him that he and myself have been growing apart and that there is unlikely going to be a spot for me even after I was promised one.
The relationship with me and the future groom has been growing thin, I can agree to this. But, he is very into going out, drinking and he does not have a license due to past alcohol problems. So, if I want to see him I have to go pick him up. We are in different stages in our lives and he and I do argue, which is very awkward for me and I have even posted about him in the past. However, I would be 50% less angry if he was honest with me.
In short I am seeking the advice from this forum. I am find myself in a situation with him that is very hurtful and unforgivable. We are family, but no one seems to have a problem with this but me. I understand that it is HIS wedding but that if you were promised a spot you would wonder where that spot went off to.
There is no need to "wonder" anything...you know what happened and have already explained it above
Sorry for the tough situation. These sort of issues with weddings do tend to cause very long lasting problems.
I am not sure there is a ton for you to do. It is his decision, and if he doesn't feel close enough to you right now to ask you to be in his wedding party, then I guess there is no way to force him.
I wouldn't handle these issues through text however. Sounds like there is a ton of time for him to get things ready for the wedding, solidify his wedding party, etc. Be patient, maybe go visit him sometime, and bring it up face to face.
I would just chalk it up to a life stage. At least now you know where you stand. Yes I know it hurts but move on and enjoy the rest of your life. If they aren't hurt or grieving over the decision why should you? as you lay awake at night thinking about it they are in deep snore mode so the only person getting hurt is you.
It is what it is and life is short. Go to the wedding, eat the food and wish them well. Now of course if you bring a gift don't go all out..
A 2nd, branch-off issue I have with this is that of course there will be engagment parties, baby showers (Co-ed baby shower has already been announced), holidays as well as birthdays. I cannot see giving my time and money to someone to stabs me in the back like this without any concern for my feelings. I understand the day belongs to him. But I was promised a spot and again am wondering where it wondered off to. So he doesnt have to hold up his promise to me, but I'm suppossed to open up my wallet?
Thank you in advance for the help. My cousin is getting ready to have a child and is also getting married in about a year. He and I are very close and speak several times during the week and usually on the weekends as well.
While planning for his wedding and those who were going to be involved I have been told several times that I would indeed be in the wedding. He has 10 people on his side as well as does the bride.
At our family Easter yesterday he was asked to name some of the people in the wedding as I was sitting there he never acknowledged me or named me as one of the people. He did name friends and others who are not related to him though.
I went home and thought about things and had a very hard time sleeping. I did text him (almost 20 hours ago) and he has not returned my message. I reminded him that he asked me several times previously to be in the wedding, but that I was looking for an official "yes or no." I told him I was not mentioned in the list of names while I was sitting directly across from him. I did confront the issue and was ignored. I would have called but he ignores my phone calls all the time.
This morning i called a mutual friend who is indeed in the wedding and they were contacted several weeks ago to be in it. He told me the groom stated to him that he and myself have been growing apart and that there is unlikely going to be a spot for me even after I was promised one.
The relationship with me and the future groom has been growing thin, I can agree to this. But, he is very into going out, drinking and he does not have a license due to past alcohol problems. So, if I want to see him I have to go pick him up. We are in different stages in our lives and he and I do argue, which is very awkward for me and I have even posted about him in the past. However, I would be 50% less angry if he was honest with me.
In short I am seeking the advice from this forum. I am find myself in a situation with him that is very hurtful and unforgivable. We are family, but no one seems to have a problem with this but me. I understand that it is HIS wedding but that if you were promised a spot you would wonder where that spot went off to.
I'm so glad I haven't spoken to my cousins in at least ten years, barring some little ones who are teenagers. But even when I'm talking to them on the phone, my mind will be fixated on the coffee machine.
If someone does not give you respect, you need to cut them out of your life, dude.
I think the last wedding I attended I was 13 or so. The crocodile didn't humour the fact that neither him nor his tail was the center of attention. I quickly renounced the tradition. I'll attend only my wedding and my brother's.
Thank you in advance for the help. My cousin is getting ready to have a child and is also getting married in about a year. He and I are very close and speak several times during the week and usually on the weekends as well.
While planning for his wedding and those who were going to be involved I have been told several times that I would indeed be in the wedding. He has 10 people on his side as well as does the bride.
At our family Easter yesterday he was asked to name some of the people in the wedding as I was sitting there he never acknowledged me or named me as one of the people. He did name friends and others who are not related to him though.
I went home and thought about things and had a very hard time sleeping. I did text him (almost 20 hours ago) and he has not returned my message. I reminded him that he asked me several times previously to be in the wedding, but that I was looking for an official "yes or no." I told him I was not mentioned in the list of names while I was sitting directly across from him. I did confront the issue and was ignored. I would have called but he ignores my phone calls all the time.
This morning i called a mutual friend who is indeed in the wedding and they were contacted several weeks ago to be in it. He told me the groom stated to him that he and myself have been growing apart and that there is unlikely going to be a spot for me even after I was promised one.
The relationship with me and the future groom has been growing thin, I can agree to this. But, he is very into going out, drinking and he does not have a license due to past alcohol problems. So, if I want to see him I have to go pick him up. We are in different stages in our lives and he and I do argue, which is very awkward for me and I have even posted about him in the past. However, I would be 50% less angry if he was honest with me.
In short I am seeking the advice from this forum. I am find myself in a situation with him that is very hurtful and unforgivable. We are family, but no one seems to have a problem with this but me. I understand that it is HIS wedding but that if you were promised a spot you would wonder where that spot went off to.
@ le roi.. Can you expand? I know the answer to my problem may be in front of my own face, but when dealing with family and someone you're forced to see during the holidays it can be difficult
It seems pretty simple. The groom changed his mind and decided other people were more important to him. I've had similar things happen to me in the past, and of course it hurts..but you get over it and move on. Honestly, I'd be pretty stoked not to be in the wedding party.
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I did confront the issue and was ignored. I would have called but he ignores my phone calls all the time.
