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The grandson & bride of one of my hometown neighbors didn't send out thank you notes for their wedding gifts. My neighbor complained/mentioned to my mother that even TEN years later relatives were stillcomplaining to her about how ungrateful and inconsiderate they were. Now, it is possible that they were not complaining directly to the bride and groom but they certainly were complaining to the parents & grandparents and other people about it.
Remember that promotion that you thought you would be getting but didn't? Maybe your boss decided that if you were not conscientious enough to send a thank you note for his wedding gift perhaps you were not as good as employee as he had originally thought.
Remember how your friends used to get together for parties and dinners and now they aren't calling as often? Maybe they realized how little you really cared about them.
Remember how your favorite aunt used to send you cute little cards and notes for no reason at all and now she stopped doing that. You assumed it was because you were married, well maybe it was because she finally noticed your true colors.
So, you think that no one noticed or cared that you didn't send out Thank You notes. You are wrong.
Since this thread was revived I've gotten some reps for this comment so I thought that others, who may be considering not sending out thank you notes, may benefit from it.
So, future brides & grooms read this and keep those points in mind.
Yes, people do notice when they do not receive thank you notes after a wedding.
Since this thread was revived I've gotten some reps for this comment so I thought that others, who may be considering not sending out thank you notes, may benefit from it.
So, future brides & grooms read this and keep those points in mind.
Yes, people do notice when they do not receive thank you notes after a wedding.
I had friends who did the scroll thing BUT it wasn't in lieu of handwritten notes. They did a number of things like matchbooks, scrolls little goody bags (not Jordan Almonds) tied with printed ribbon -- and all of them were thank you for joining us! Sam and Diane, thank you for being here! Sam and Diane, Sam and Diane welcome you...
it sort of sounds like overkill when you list it out, but in reality, you didn't see it all at once, and each time you came upon it, it sounded like they were really happy to have you there.
They are very sweet people.
BUT -- as bad as those scrolls are -- other friends sent out preprinted notes with a fill in the blank component.
I had friends who did the scroll thing BUT it wasn't in lieu of handwritten notes. They did a number of things like matchbooks, scrolls little goody bags (not Jordan Almonds) tied with printed ribbon -- and all of them were thank you for joining us! Sam and Diane, thank you for being here! Sam and Diane, Sam and Diane welcome you...
it sort of sounds like overkill when you list it out, but in reality, you didn't see it all at once, and each time you came upon it, it sounded like they were really happy to have you there.
They are very sweet people.
BUT -- as bad as those scrolls are -- other friends sent out preprinted notes with a fill in the blank component.
Truly awful.
Wow! I have never even seen "fill in the blank" thank you notes except the ones designed for kindergarten age children to send thank you notes after a birthday party. By any chance, were your friends five year olds? They certainly acted like five year olds if they couldn't even write a couple of sentences for each wedding gift. Sheesh.
We thought the construction paper scrolls were just a table card place setting. Had no idea they were a "gift" and certainly didn't ever consider that they were the "thank you" note for wedding gifts that weren't opened until the day after the wedding.
We thought the construction paper scrolls were just a table card place setting. Had no idea they were a "gift" and certainly didn't ever consider that they were the "thank you" note for wedding gifts that weren't opened until the day after the wedding.
My favorite part of the scroll? The ones I saw were inserted into a Cracker Jack style ring -- and you know EVERYONE put the darn thing on! How can you resist?
Wow! I have never even seen "fill in the blank" thank you notes except the ones designed for kindergarten age children to send thank you notes after a birthday party. By any chance, were your friends five year olds? They certainly acted like five year olds if they couldn't even write a couple of sentences for each wedding gift. Sheesh.
It was a poem of some sort, with the fill in the blank part not in a rhyming area -- and it was atrocious. My friend was in her early 20's (and this was 30 years ago), and I called her on it. She claimed she was confused with all the "advice" she was hearing -- have a year to send the TYs, don't have to send one until you use the item, yada yada -- I remember all that when my friends got married and even then it all sounded like big fat excuses to not send notes.
That's why, in our family, we send gifts rather than take them to the wedding, and when gifts are recieved we OPEN THEM and WRITE THE NOTE. My mother in law got pleasant comments from people who gave us gifts before the day, and got notes right away.
And she said -- I guess I won't have to remind you! Nope, Mom -- Ma raised me right. (Ma was my mother, Mom was his mother.) Which is really funny -- because there are times, etiquette wise, I think my husband was raised by wolves.
And because we send things -- it's nice to get a note as soon as possible, because that way, you know they got it! Things do get lost in the mail, stolen off porches and other mishaps. But I have to say -- I'm not above calling the bride or groom and asking to make sure....
I've never heard of not sending a Thank you note for a Wedding Gift. I've also heard that its standard to allow a year for a Thank you, however, most I've received in a few months. Only one Wedding Thank you note was about 6 months after the wedding. One close guy friend wedding, never received a Thank you note. I called him and asked if they even rec'd the gift and he said oh yes and loved it (a few pieces of high end cookware from registry) so I thought well maybe I'll rec'd a Thank you now - no. It's really rude. He and I are still good lifelong friends, however, I've always remembered.
So, yes if someone takes the time, thought and money for a Wedding gift yes everyone notices if Thank you notes are sent.
I'm of the opinion that it's asinine to have the "one year" rule - what is up with that? Send a thank you as soon as you can (and it certainly should be MUCH less than a year)
I'm of the opinion that it's asinine to have the "one year" rule - what is up with that? Send a thank you as soon as you can (and it certainly should be MUCH less than a year)
I believe that the "one year rule" is from a long time ago (perhaps the 1880s to 1920s) when very, very wealthy couples used to go on extremely long honeymoons, perhaps, six months, or nine months or even a year traveling all around Europe and perhaps also traveling to India or Australia before they returned home. Since they usually left right after the wedding of course it would take a while to finish and send out the Thank You notes.
When was the last time you heard of newly married couple taking a six month, nine month or a year long honeymoon?
Out of curiosity, I'm wondering about the custom of sending thank you notes for gifts. Does this still take place?
Case in point, my DH and I drove from North Carolina to Michigan to attend his niece's wedding. We gifted them from their registry with a pricey set of cookware. We stretched our budget for the trip and the gift.
Three month's later, we've received not a mention of a thank you--from Facebook, email, or mailed.
I feel kind of miffed...but maybe I'm behind the times and couples just take the travel and gift for granted? Please share your thoughts and experience with us.
I guess it depends on the culture. At some weddings in some cultures, the bride and groom make their appearance to each table personally thanking all their guests while each table designates a person to make a speech. They usually do this on camera. That in and of itself is a ceremonial gratitude.
For American weddings, I think it's customary and respectful to send out a thank you card to each guest.
I personally think that's more polite. And, on top of that, the bride and groom could also send a picture that your family took in the beginning when you walk to the reception table to make it even more personable and memorable.
At least that's what I'm used to.
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Had no idea they were a "gift" and certainly didn't ever consider that they were the "thank you" note for wedding gifts that weren't opened until the day after the wedding.
How can you resist?
