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One of my good friends got married about a week ago. Everyone knew he was engaged and the original plan was to have the wedding in the summer when everyone could attend. I was informally invited to that.
I find out over facebook that he got married and has left for his honeymoon. I find it odd that there was no ceremony and no one I know was invited. My guess is his fiance got pregnant so they moved the wedding up.
Should I still get them something? I feel as a general rule if I'm not invited I'm not giving a gift and I apply that to most things. At the same time the wedding was moved up and I don't think anyone outside of the families were invited.
We are also in college and his hometown is on the other side of the country. They got married there so its unlikely anyone from school would be able to attend during the holidays on short notice anyway.
Last edited by Skinnyfat; 01-10-2014 at 04:24 PM..
A gift is not payment for admission to the wedding and vice versa. Then again, you weren't informed they eloped and only found out through Facebook, so maybe they are not such "good friends." But if you didn't know about the wedding beforehand and your friend called you to say, "Guess what? I got married over the weekend," would you begrudge a gift? I'd give one to a good friend.
Do you know if they're having a small ceremony when they get back? I don't always not give a gift if I'm not invited. It depends on the circumstances and how close I am to them. In this case, I don't think it was a matter of not being invited--they just haven't had a ceremony. Talk with your friend when he gets back. Maybe they'll have a small gathering. If they don't, then I think it's up to you. I've had very close friends get married at city hall and not have ceremonies but I gave them a gift because we're close.
A gift is not payment for admission to the wedding and vice versa. Then again, you weren't informed they eloped and only found out through Facebook, so maybe they are not such "good friends." But if you didn't know about the wedding beforehand and your friend called you to say, "Guess what? I got married over the weekend," would you begrudge a gift? I'd give one to a good friend.
He is my friend, we normally give each other things for birthdays, I don't know his wife at all really. I can say it seems like this whole thing was put together between about the middle of December and when it happened last weekend. So that's not even a month. I do not feel like he just didn't want to invite me given the original plan was to have it much later and I was invited to that.
I'll rephrase what I said about gifts. If there is a birthday party or wedding I'm not invited to I will not give a gift, we're obviously not close enough friends for that to be appropriate. I'm wondering if this is the same kind of thing as when someone just doesn't do anything for their birthday and there is no party to not be invited to.
Last edited by Skinnyfat; 01-10-2014 at 04:57 PM..
If he is such a good friend, I would think you'd WANT to give a gift!
I don't want to sound like an ass but I don't really think I should give him a gift unless I'm "supposed to". He's not my best friend or in my close circle of really great friends, he's just a good friend and was a roommate at one time. I mean this is the sort of situation where if I was invited to a "real" ceremony I'd be giving them a $50 gift card to sears with some cupcakes and a nice card.
I just looked through some more photos on his wife's Facebook. It sounds like they are doing another thing in the summer that I'm probably still invited to that. If they're not doing that I think I'll just give them a gift card when I find out what the plan is.
Also turns out they made plans for this in a week. So really am thinking she got pregnant, or they did this for tax reasons.
id just get him a card, and something small, maybe earplugs,,, for when she has pms ..
Lol, in that case the man better be prepared for divorce. Not many women will put up with that chit.
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