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So, today in a facebook group for bridal info, I read this lady go on a meltdown because her mom was paying 80% of the wedding but they got into a fight and now won't pay... she asked how does she go about suing her mother for the promised gift!
And then a lady said, "Don't do that, just ask your guests to pay for their own dinner! I am having my reception at a local restaurant that is okay with us making a large dinner reservation and having the guests split checks. We made sure to include it on our invitation and many are loving the idea."
SMH!
I understand the sticker shock of a wedding. In fact, without connections my brother has being a vendor himself, I couldn't afford the wedding I am having but if he backed out I couldn't imagine suing him, nor could I imagine who thinks it is a lovely idea to have your guests pay and is then asking about RSVPs and if people RSVP no aren't they still supposed to send a gift and how do you manage that because she is asking for their honeymoon paid for bc they can't afford one....
SMH again!
I am all for realizing that you can scale back a wedding and don't need everything the wedding industry says you need, so I think all of this is just a lil cray-cray.
With all of my wedding costs, even with the help from my brother, I can't afford a honeymoon....so I'm not going on one until we can!
Another thing about weddings that make me shake my head are the amount of people who get upset that they're not in your wedding party. I have a group of three close friends I consider my family away from family and included my sister/niece as matron/maid of honor. I have a sister-in-law who refuses to talk to me or my family when they are visiting and has tried for years to alienate my brother from us. She got mad that he offered to help/do things for me, but he only did it because we are close and I was going to push it all back to 2016 where my grandmas might not be there since they are 88 right now and he said, "Don't do that, I will do this, this, and this." She is mad she isn't in the wedding and yelled at him over it. I probably would have included her had she talked to me at all in the past three years. The last time I dropped by my brother's house to just pick something up, she had a cow and yelled at him.
With your first example, how horrible to have the mom back out of paying. No, you can't sue her or ask guests to pay their way, but I hope things aren't so solidified that she couldn't alter her sit down dinner to something more affordable like a cocktail hour with finger foods.
In the second example, I don't know people who would love the idea of having to pay their own way a wedding reception unless it was understood that you then weren't required to bring a gift.
I'm amazed at the upset created, often self-created, when people have expectations of other people's weddings. When it's not your wedding day you don't get to decide the terms of someone else's choices, expenses, etc. My best friend got married 17 years ago. I wasn't in the wedding party because she had to have a cousin in it or it would have created a huge rift between her mom and aunt. 17 years later, she's still my best friend, and hasn't seen the cousin in years. If someone truly cares for you, they will be happy for you whether or not they were in the wedding party or even invited to the wedding.
Yes! The person who is having everyone pay for their own meals is also hoping everyone foots the bill for her honeymoon, too, even those who RSVP no! It is so bizarre that I am like, "Where do people get these ideas or think people like that and aren't just being nice to their face!"
I made a small registry but certainly have no expectations about it. If people choose to give us cash, I am hoping we can pool it together to buy a new mattress.... but I am certainly not going to ask for cash so we can buy a new bed.
Yes! My brother is a vendor for the venue we are at and he gave them a discount on trade for 85% of its cost, gave us a day of coordinator because he knew a girl who has a coordinator where he wanted her business so he traded his trade for a couple of weddings for her to do mine for free (hoping that solidifies their working relationship), and was able to get transportation for us to leave for free as long as we handsomely tip the driver. All of these were lovely gestures. If he took them back, I'd figure it all out, but they were all more extravagant than I would have chosen had they not been gifts! I would then choose a cheaper place, but I also know I thank him all of the time, specifically chose a Friday since it was cheaper, do favors for him when he needs them, and appreciate that he has given me the ability to have a beautiful wedding with my grandmas there.
I can't imagine getting to a point where I would imagine suing family or being ungrateful for anything! I am not entitled to his help, nor did I ask... but he got mad when I booked some folks without consulting him first because he always knew someone where he could get it much cheaper!
I can't imagine asking guests to pay their own way at an event I invited them to, nor asking them to pay for something I don't need. Craziness!!!
My husband had to pay a dog sitter because the groom wanted to bring his dog to the wedding. Mind you the dog was not part of the wedding--my husband didn't even know until the last minute. Why my husband had to pay is still beyond me because he is the father of the bride. He also had to pay for the groom's ring--the bride didn't understand that she should set aside money for it.
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