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Old 01-19-2011, 04:58 PM
 
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Jealousy is normal. But it should be channelled into your own success in your own way.
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Old 01-19-2011, 05:16 PM
 
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I thnik if you haven't you need to set some realsitic goals . Meetig thsoe goals can bring real satisfaction. Smoking pot or turning to drink isw just a way to the bottom really as I have seen with many.
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:21 PM
 
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristin85 View Post
Value something other than materialistic things. I am more envious of people who work part-time or work easy, low-paying jobs because they have more downtime than workaholics who live in mansions. Think about what you have that the people who make a lot of money don't have.
Amen to that. I recently reconnected with a guy who was my roomate 20 years ago. He looks great on Facebook, giant house and cute housewife. makes about $200k a year. over drinks he confessed that he is up to his eyeballs in debt, and uses his yearly bonus to pay off the huge credit card bills he and his wife run up every year. we are talking $50k! And he overbought his house, financed during the credit boom, so he's underwater on the mortgage. He is a layoff away from bankruptcy. So the lesson is, never look at what people appear to have more than you with envy. you never know the full story.
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
^^^This.

Happiness comes from being content with what you have.

That doesn't meant you shouldn't have ambition. Just that if you set your own priorities and achieve your own goals for you, what other people make shouldn't matter.

Someone is always going to make more money.

Well, unless you're Carlos Slim Helu.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Amen to that. I recently reconnected with a guy who was my roomate 20 years ago. He looks great on Facebook, giant house and cute housewife. makes about $200k a year. over drinks he confessed that he is up to his eyeballs in debt, and uses his yearly bonus to pay off the huge credit card bills he and his wife run up every year. we are talking $50k! And he overbought his house, financed during the credit boom, so he's underwater on the mortgage. He is a layoff away from bankruptcy. So the lesson is, never look at what people appear to have more than you with envy. you never know the full story.
I completely agree with both of these posts! First, each person is different so the OP comparing his/her success with others is flawed. The best way to be happy and get over jealousy is to focus on your own goals and not on where other people are in their lives. There will always be someone better, so if you try to earn more money than everyone else then you'll end up too stressed to enjoy it.

Also, I know a few wealthy, successful people who are not living the greatest life. Some of them are living it up, but others are starting to suffer from the stress and addictions that follow some wealthy individuals and it's starting to show. Heck, some of the "wealthy" and "successful" people I know are actually just faking it. One is a life coach who claims to make $200,000 which may or may not be true. Then, a friend of mine informed me that he was actually in tons of debt because he's spending like a millionaire.

Yes, you can be wealthy and happy. However, it's not always the case. So, focus on your own happiness and don't concern yourself with the wealth of others.
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Old 01-19-2011, 11:53 PM
JS1
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Amen to that. I recently reconnected with a guy who was my roomate 20 years ago. He looks great on Facebook, giant house and cute housewife. makes about $200k a year. over drinks he confessed that he is up to his eyeballs in debt, and uses his yearly bonus to pay off the huge credit card bills he and his wife run up every year. we are talking $50k! And he overbought his house, financed during the credit boom, so he's underwater on the mortgage. He is a layoff away from bankruptcy. So the lesson is, never look at what people appear to have more than you with envy. you never know the full story.
that's scary, that was me 6 years ago
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Old 01-20-2011, 12:22 AM
 
Location: California
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I'm not sure envy is the correct word, at least not in my world. Most of my so called in-laws travel the world and act like they are so superior. It isn't that I envy their money, as I really don't need a lot, but I don't like the way look down their noses at us. It took them ten years to even acknowledge that I exist and at that point it is too late for me to allow them into my life. Apparently, they have all their money can buy but they can't buy me.
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Old 01-20-2011, 03:09 AM
 
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I'm not envious of anyone with money, to be honest. DH and I just want different things at this point in life. I pretty much have everything I want to be content. An old house (which is paid off), a huge garden, country roads to hike, a lake a few miles from my house to swim every day in the summer, my girls, and a new job I really like that doesn't stress me out or require long hours. It doesn't pay as much as I'm used to making, but I don't care. We have enough to be "comfortable", and plenty of time to enjoy all of the above. Fortunately, I live in an area where no one judges you by your job, whether you wear expensive designer clothes or the car you drive (pick up trucks are the norm here).

The only thing I would like extra money for right now would be my own horse.

EDIT: I wonder sometimes if the Yuppies (or whatever they call them now) in their suburban McMansions know what it's like to swim in a spring-fed lake under the stars? For FREE???? Every evening in the summer?
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Old 01-20-2011, 05:08 AM
 
397 posts, read 448,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
I'm always stressed by that.
Everything is relative. If you have access to a computer, you most likely enjoy a living standard that would make most people in the world envious.

There are hundreds of millions of people in the world working 16 hour days scrapping by. There are 2.8 billion people who live on less than $2 a day. Most people in this world pray that their children will live to see another day. Did you know that six million children worldwide die every year before their fifth birthday as a result of malnutrition.

Be grateful for what you have, and work harder for things that you don't have. Things could be worse. You could be living in North Korea. Talk about stress.
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:04 AM
 
9,856 posts, read 7,816,340 times
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Use any negative emotions as fuel to work harder and make something great of yourself. Learn how money works - how to use it effectively. Teach yourself stock trading, investing, etc.

I know people who could make more money in the long term with a 50k salary than those who make a 200k salary, simply because they understand how money works and how to use it. Study to become one of those people.
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Old 01-20-2011, 07:54 AM
 
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Recognize that money does not buy happiness.

For a time in the 80's I was making a huge amount of money for me anyway. For several years I was hitting the income tax limit for social security in June or July which meant I was earning $45k in six or seven months.

To put it in terms of inflation what cost $45,000.00 in 1987 would cost $83,865.58 in 2009. My best year ever in life, the late 1980's, I had one year where I enjoyed an income of $105,000.00 non adjusted for inflation. It was like $190k today.

I hated my life and you could not pay me enough to go back doing what I was doing. That is the simple truth, I would not re-live 1988 again for $10 million dollars. It seemed I was in a cage (I really was) and all I wanted to do was get out. In 1990 I simply walked away never again to earn half of what I once did but I never had one second of remorse.

Money does not purchase you happiness, son.
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