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There's another thing to think about too, a house that is less than 1000 square feet is likely in a subpar area crime and school wise - today - to raise kids in. I live in a fairly low cost area, with zero car payments, and a conservative mortgage, family of 5. We can't make it without two incomes of some sort. I cannot not work.
MY neighborhood is middle to upper middle class and most of the houses average at or just above 1000 sq.ft.,(sure we have the development McMansions too, 2,000 sq.ft. plus) the local school system is very good, and our police and fire/EMS services are EXCELLENT, we do just fine on one income.
A couple generations ago families with Dad,Mom, and two or three kid did fine living in a house 1,000 sq.ft. and less.
I think the Internet is also severely isolating us. I remember when I was a kid I would walk down the street to visit my best friend. We would talk to each other on the phone (land line) to meet up or go to a movie/the beach/just hang out at the house or whatever. We also played outside a lot, building forts and whatnot. I have a half-brother who is in junior high school now and most of the time he will just text on his iPhone or write messages to his friends' Facebook "walls." Also they do the Skype video chatting thing sometimes. Whenever his friends do come over, they just sit in front of the idiot box and play video games. Whatever happened to physically leaving the house and going down the road to hang out? Nothing beats face-to-face interaction.
I could write paragraphs about cell phones too, but it's late and I'm tired. I actually remember a time when I could not be reached every damned waking hour of the day and half of the people in public didn't walk around with electronic devices held up to their heads. That sure was nice.
Ugh....technology. Walk anywhere and you'll see people with their heads down or yapping or texting away on their smartphones, totally oblivious to the world around them. Don't get me started on the people who use internet slang in workplace emails.
Technology certainly has its pros, but it hasn't done anything for the way we interact with each other. Caller ID and voicemail let us ignore those we dont want to talk to, texting has replaced phone calls, webcam has replaced face to face interaction, internet lingo has taken over etc etc. I have a coworker who admits that when in a situation where he doesnt want to interact with anyone, he just pulls out his phone, keeps his head down and pretends he's texting or flips through apps.
We've all gotten caught in the web( pun intended).
You can have all of that on one income too, as long as you have a good job.
Some people just need to have something other than staying at home all day to feel useful, and avoid boredom, whether they need the money or not.
^^^
This.
My husband and I are both unable to do nothing. Even when we go on vacation we prefer non-stop Europe to laying on a beach in Destin. I suspect that when we eventually retire, we will both remain very active in volunteer work. Hanging out around the house will not be an option.
We were a one-income family for about 8 years, because I was the full-time SAHM. Now I still stay home, but I run a business part-time from home while homeschooling the kids. My in-laws say that we're retired (we're in our mid-30s, LOL) because neither of us works full-time... I work under 20 hours per week, and DH works about 35 hours. It works for us to split it up this way. Previously, he worked 60-hour weeks while I stayed home, and neither of us was thrilled with the arrangement.
It's definitely doable, and if you have a high-paying job that allows you to support a growing family working just 40 or 50 hours, then that's even better. It is about choices, though, too... when DH was working lots of overtime, we still didn't have a lot of money to spend on expensive clothing or fancy vacations every year. If we'd wanted those things, then I'd have had to go to work while putting the kids in daycare (another huge expense). I can see how the "you need two incomes" theory started; once you get on that roller coaster, it's hard to get off, I imagine!
This is one of those topics that will just keep going and going with no ground gained either way.
We had dual incomes with no children, then after years of trying for children we had twins...wife was enjoying a great career and we were both putting away a good bit towards retirement. Once they were born all of this changed...she is on her fourth year of being a SAHM. We plan on her going back to work in another year.
For some reason we always lived below our means...mostly one income with the rest going for travel and the other going towards retirement. If we had lived based on both incomes in the sense of vehicles and homes we would be in really bad times now, there would be no way we could live on one income. We get along fine, Craigslist for the cribs, clothes, and toys has been one of the best things going along with yard sales. The one big thing is we have to save for things (never liked credit) such as appliances, repairs, or big ticket items where before we just paid cash.
Now I have friends who have children and both parents work, some of them are always complaining how they can not make ends meet, these same friends have bigger homes than they need (my opinion) and have debt out their butts. Their wife's salaries seem to pay for all the bells and whistles, motorcycles, new cars, stainless, and granite makeovers for their kitchens.
Everyone has their own idea of how to live the American dream and it is not for me to judge them for it, but we are in the midst of a terrific economic downturn that was brought on by a huge expansion based on credit. Larger homes, bigger SUV's and the like have brought many families to their knees.
A luxury once tasted soon becomes a necessity and Americans have an appetite for the best of everything. I hope our children will see the true meaning of what is truly important in life.
I am not talking about Minimum Wage Jobs, but if a spouse wants to stay at home and raise the kids, there should be no problem. You just downsize your housing (rent or mortgage), downsize your vehicle, entertainment, vacations. Many say it takes two incomes to get by today, BS, it only takes two incomes if you want to have the three bedroom, two bath, two car garage home in the subs, a boat or jet skis, along with the big Toyota SUV, 46 in Flat Screen TV with 3,500 channels, surround sound, high speed internet connection ($135 month or more), I phone, oh, and the daily Latte Frappe at Starbucks at $5.00 a pop.
Get it?
When you look at all of the costs of staying home, it's not worth it unless you're giving up a minimum wage job. The spouse who stays home gives up more than just wages. They give up experience, promotions, retirement savings and pension vesting as well. And then there's the peace of mind from having college savings for the kids and 6 months income in the bank (while some can maintain this on one income, most cannot) to guard against a rainy day.
Also, you cannot plan on working later. Sometimes later doesn't come. Look at this economy. How do you think stay at home parents trying to return to the work force are faring? They may find, as my SIL did that their skills are too old and the only think open to them are low paying entry level jobs. My SIL was gung ho SAH when she stayed home with her kids but she'll tell you today that this was a mistake. They are looking at never retiring because of those years she took off. They counted on the economy staying good. It didn't.
I am SO GLAD I worked when my kids were little. The nest egg we saved then may be all we have for college/retirement now. Even with two incomes, we're not able to save right now. We have two teenaged kids who are into sports and band and music lessons. They're taking ACT prep programs at $500/pop. Senior pictures, band camp and senior trips...oh my....increased auto insurance, increased gas usage....and we don't have enough in the bank to send them to college. It's really sad but we're counting on dh's retirement next year lowering our income bracket enough for our kids to get financial aid. I'm embarassed that this is where we are. And we both worked and saved. I can imagine where we'd be if I'd taken off several years to stay home. I probably wouldn't even have a job now.
I am glad I stayed in the work force. The pension I earned is going to be small beause it was small and the company went bankrupt so i'm expecting only half but it's something I will have in retirement that I would not otherwise have. So is the money I saved in my 401K. We are in much better shape than friends and relatives who stayed home with their kids. We're in better shape than some who didn't too. We're about middle of the pack for the couples we know who are dual wage earners. I'm under employed but I'm employed. Some lost jobs and coudln't find another. Some lost homes.
I have never understood why people derail careers to stay home when kids are little for such a short period of time and this is the one time in their lives when good other care is available. Seriously, if I were inclined to stay home, I'd do it during the teen years. I'm fortunate in that when I lost my engineering job, I took a job teaching so I'm home most of the time my kids are. With the exception of one year, dd#1 has commuted to school with me. I don't see dd#2 as much because she stayed in our home district instead of transferring to the school where I teach but she's a good kid who is very mature for her age and seeks her parents advice so I don't worry about her too much.
I am not talking about Minimum Wage Jobs, but if a spouse wants to stay at home and raise the kids, there should be no problem. You just downsize your housing (rent or mortgage), downsize your vehicle, entertainment, vacations. Many say it takes two incomes to get by today, BS, it only takes two incomes if you want to have the three bedroom, two bath, two car garage home in the subs, a boat or jet skis, along with the big Toyota SUV, 46 in Flat Screen TV with 3,500 channels, surround sound, high speed internet connection ($135 month or more), I phone, oh, and the daily Latte Frappe at Starbucks at $5.00 a pop.
Get it?
Easy to say when it does not affect the way you want to live your life.
Not so easy when some stranger or anyone tells you that you MUST downsize and QUIT living your life the way you want to because THEY think you can do with less.
I am not talking about Minimum Wage Jobs, but if a spouse wants to stay at home and raise the kids, there should be no problem. You just downsize your housing (rent or mortgage), downsize your vehicle, entertainment, vacations. Many say it takes two incomes to get by today, BS, it only takes two incomes if you want to have the three bedroom, two bath, two car garage home in the subs, a boat or jet skis, along with the big Toyota SUV, 46 in Flat Screen TV with 3,500 channels, surround sound, high speed internet connection ($135 month or more), I phone, oh, and the daily Latte Frappe at Starbucks at $5.00 a pop.
Get it?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better than "get by." There is nothing wrong with having 2 incomes if that's what a couple wants. Get it?
People should not be in 2 income families to maintain a lifestyle, bit I favor mainly periods of 2 incomes for all families due to a high divorce rate. Going back after being a longtime SAHM means McJob's for life , at best, for 9 of 10 in that boat.
Now I'm not talking SAHM's for a year or two, or those who worked professionally , even part time, most of the time, but for the long-term SAHM, its a tremendous risk today.
Good point. I found out first hand that taking even a few years off work can set you back a decade. I went back at a huge pay cut. The main reason I went back to work is to save for retirement. I wonder if the OP is thinking that far ahead.
You can have all of that on one income too, as long as you have a good job.
The key here of course is good jobs are hard to come by these days.
And in some cases maybe the wife also wants their own career.
Finally, some may want to live some place other than the ghetto, where the public schools perform well and they receive sufficient services. In 2012 you're going to need to make a little more than $10-$12/hr to do that.
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