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Growing up being bullied constantly is why I am now a habitual overachiever and professionally aggressive. Under 30 with six figure income, 6 going on 7 collegiate degrees, a distinguished military and civilian career... It also has made me self-centered, arrogant, hyper defensive and obsessively self-conscious.
I guess I should thank bullies for creating the monster that I am today.
I think bullying is a sign of deeply-seeded insecurity. If someone is bullying you, it's probably because something is really bothering them on the inside. How do I deal with it? I ignore it if at all possible. Though it's never escalated to this, I think the next step would be to discuss this with a superior. If that doesn't resolve the issue, it's "sianara, adios, au revoir".
i swear, some people enjoy the drama that comes from being super negative and mean all of the time. either that or they're miserable and they just want to make everyone else around them miserable too.
i used to work with a woman who very strategically gossiped in order to incite drama. i do think she did it for the entertainment value.
i swear, some people enjoy the drama that comes from being super negative and mean all of the time. either that or they're miserable and they just want to make everyone else around them miserable too.
i used to work with a woman who very strategically gossiped in order to incite drama. i do think she did it for the entertainment value.
There was a guy I worked with when I was back at another regional office who was exactly as you describe this woman. Seems they'd be perfect soul mates for one another. Like you said, I think it's for entertainment value to them. It maintains a meager level of intrigue and drama in an otherwise mundane life.
I think bullying is a sign of deeply-seeded insecurity. If someone is bullying you, it's probably because something is really bothering them on the inside. How do I deal with it? I ignore it if at all possible. Though it's never escalated to this, I think the next step would be to discuss this with a superior. If that doesn't resolve the issue, it's "sianara, adios, au revoir".
I agree. And there is proof that a bully usually had abusive parents or parent. It developes low self esteem. So the people who are really mean may have huge doubts about themself.
I agree. And there is proof that a bully usually had abusive parents or parent. It developes low self esteem. So the people who are really mean may have huge doubts about themself.
The problem with bullying is that bullies 'grow out of it', after having reaped the benefits of dominating behavior throughout their adolescent and teenage years. But those on the receiving end of bullying take those scars for life, well into adulthood. It makes them bitter, cynical, destroys any semblance of empathy for humanity, and it could even possibly make these people at risk of becoming bullies themselves. These bully victims grow up and become bullies themselves, but as adults such behavior is not tolerated whatsoever. This, I find hilarious. That there is a duality in how our society treats the concept of bullying. We have traditionally treated bullying by children as something that is insignificant; worthy of being brushed off. What's worse, we use derrogatory terms to classify those that report on bullying as 'tattle talers'. This is entirely reversed as adults: bullies are quick to be fired from a workplace and those that report on bullies are lauded as whistle blowers or of a similar descriptor. On a social level, adult bullies are criticized for being the way they are, and called 'immature' for possessing such character flaws. How ridiculous is this notion? Does one's brain automatically peel away any emotional scars once they are defined as an adult by societal standards? Is there an 'off' switch in the brain at the age of 18? There is not. Psychological issues that arise for bully victims do *not* go away just because one attains a certain age, and if they grow up to become bullies themselves because of these psychological issues it effectively illustrates that these people remain victims their entire lives.
It is not until the last few years where there has been a shift - and a superficial one at that - in realizing the crises in America's public education vis a vis bullying. We need to do more or there will only be more mentally fragile people such as myself that would grow up into adults that would throw people under the bus without a second thought to get ahead professionally at best to having more gun-toting kids inside school halls at worst. It is our responsibility to ensure that bullying is stamped out, once and for all.
At my age, I don't need counseling. I am at peace with my past, and with my current self. I have perservered and succeeded in life despite my adversities. But let me tell you that there this is not one day that passes in which I do not reflect upon the days of horror in which I experienced growing up due to the actions of others.
At a former place of employment, I had a would-be bully to deal with. She told me that I needed to change my personality to be more meek so people would like me better. (While I am assertive and confident in a work setting, I am by no means aggressive, or difficult to get along with. And a good listener to boot.)
After I stopped laughing, I told her that didn't work when I was in junior high, and it certainly wasn't going to work now! BTW: we're both in our mid fifties. A feeble attempt at intimidation on her part.
The lesson for others: try laughing at the bullies of this world. It takes any perceived power away from them.
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