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Its hard work taking the kid(s) to a McDonald's three times a day, it really is. I can see why some use the drive thru so often in order to relieve their workload.
I think the point of some dislike for SAHM's who claim they "work" so hard is that I really don't consider housework actual work.
I come home from work and do my laundry, cook, shop, eat, clean, run errands etc...That's just part of my daily life. It's not earning me any money or furthering my career. Just like when I go outside to fix my wife's car or mow the lawn, I'm not working. I'm doing chores like everyone else on the planet.
Work is when I go to my employer and provide a service in exchange for my pay check. The rest is just part of life.
Let's put it this way, if my SAHM friends stopped "working" they would still be able to eat and have a roof over their heads. The house may get messy and the husband may get mad, but no real consequences. If I stop work, my wife and I can't pay the bills or mortgage.
If you're going out to work part time then you're not a SAHM.
Yes, you're right. At THIS time, I am only working outside the home, part time. I was a "near" full-time SAHM for years.
For me, having worked for many years, (sometimes multiple jobs), it was the most natural thing in the world to me. I loved work and even more, I loved always having "my own" money and the freedom to do with it what I wished......no one to ask for anything. The hardest thing in the world for me to do, was make the co-decision for me to stay at home with the kids. The panic was unbelievable. I worked that decision in my head for a good month. Numbers didn't lie. It would have cost us too much money, for me to continue to work.
It's a long story....with little time...but if time is spent wisely and you can make it work, it's fabulous if one of the parents stays home. If done right, the person who IS working all day/night, has a warm cocoon to retreat to at the end of a long day....and is a content and happy provider, who treats his/her mate with love, gratitude and generosity. Ahhhhhhhh......one can dream, right?
I know a lot of women who gave up pesky careers to be SAHMs. Now, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't dump a high paying stressful job to get a zero paying job that is hard work or less rewarding. Just saying.
At the same time, I think that a lot of people do best when they feel productive, and the merry go round of being a stay at home mom is probably not a rewarding career for a person who likes to reflect on their accomplishments, on a frequent basis.
Its hard work taking the kid(s) to a McDonald's three times a day, it really is. I can see why some use the drive thru so often in order to relieve their workload.
Yep I have seen moms with their kids at the mall playing on the playground and moms taking their kids swimming at local pool but yeah keep telling your self it is so hard.
Yep I have seen moms with their kids at the mall playing on the playground and moms taking their kids swimming at local pool but yeah keep telling your self it is so hard.
Good grief, you have NO idea how much work it actually takes or even what you're talking about. Your experience comes from "watching", not "doing". You already confessed to being in your mid-20s (hmm...1984?)
Try coming back when you actually have some real "personal" experience and share your views with the ones who've actually walked the walk.
Good grief, you have NO idea how much work it actually takes or even what you're talking about. Your experience comes from "watching", not "doing". You already confessed to being in your mid-20s (hmm...1984?)
Try coming back when you actually have some real "personal" experience and share your views with the ones who've actually walked the walk.
no kidding...god, I dread taking DS to the pool. I do it because it's good for him, but god - the getting ready, all the gear, holding him the entire time in the pool because he can't swim yet, trying to entertain him and play with him while making sure he doesn't gulp water, dragging him out, changing, showering, trying to change myself while keeping an eye on him, it is so.much.work., and is sooo not my idea of fun in any way.
Same for the playground - all these things ARE like work to me because they're 100% for him, my idea of fun in no way involves running, swing-pushing, or monkey bars, really.
no kidding...god, I dread taking DS to the pool. I do it because it's good for him, but god - the getting ready, all the gear, holding him the entire time in the pool because he can't swim yet, trying to entertain him and play with him while making sure he doesn't gulp water, dragging him out, changing, showering, trying to change myself while keeping an eye on him, it is so.much.work., and is sooo not my idea of fun in any way.
Same for the playground - all these things ARE like work to me because they're 100% for him, my idea of fun in no way involves running, swing-pushing, or monkey bars, really.
OH my gosh...have a few more kids. Kids aren't WORK!? Haha. Taking them all, ANYWHERE, if you're going to have a good time and don't want to spend a fortune, can take HOURS of preparation and that means "work"! Thank goodness, if the kids are spread out a little bit, you end up getting a little help from the oldest....in keeping an eye on the littlest ones...IF they're capable and willing.
MOM--"Okay, Mommy has to take these clothes out to the clothes line. Watch your little brother for me, please. After I hang out the clothes, we'll go to the park"
KIDS--"Yaaaayyyyyy we're gonna go to the park! Can we have a picnic there?''
MOM--Goes out to hang clothes off line....all while, contemplating what's handy for a picnic lunch....plans out what to make, while hanging clothes out. Comes back in to find that older child was so engrossed with his cartoon, that younger child got mom's cold coffee and spilled it all over himself and a 10' long stretch of flooring. "Crap, gotta clean that up!" Mom now spends time cleaning up floor and small child, then tries to remember WTH she was going to do when she got into the house!!!!!! Oh YEAH, look for stuff for lunch! Do the kids even DESERVE to go to the park? All you asked that older one to do, was WATCH the younger one....keep them out of mischief......but NOOOOOO!!!
Soooo mom goes on to the kitchen, frantically searching to figure out what is good, easy, healthy...to take to the park to eat. All in all......this can take a good 90 min of work...the hunting, the plan changing, due to supply on hand...the prep, the cleanup, then the youngest has managed to find something ELSE to get in to......another clothes change....damn it, the next one up has decided to strip down to underwear....clothes strung around the house...(apparently spilled something on their clothes, too!). Mom now has to go through and change 2 more kids, BEFORE taking them to the park to get dirty. Sooooo, in just a COUPLE of hours, mom has swept and mopped the floor (because there's no sense in having a 12" x 10' clean area on the floor...might as well do the whole thing, cuz it needed it anyway).
Yeah...unless you're in the thick of it and living it yourself, there is NO way that you can possibly imagine just how much work staying at home with children can be!
We've already discussed, in various threads, how differently people parent. Due to family interests, living arrangements, financial situations, individual personalities, it's pretty silly to make general statements regarding how hard SAHPs work or how lazy they are.
I think the point of some dislike for SAHM's who claim they "work" so hard is that I really don't consider housework actual work.
I come home from work and do my laundry, cook, shop, eat, clean, run errands etc...That's just part of my daily life. It's not earning me any money or furthering my career. Just like when I go outside to fix my wife's car or mow the lawn, I'm not working. I'm doing chores like everyone else on the planet.
Work is when I go to my employer and provide a service in exchange for my pay check. The rest is just part of life.
Let's put it this way, if my SAHM friends stopped "working" they would still be able to eat and have a roof over their heads. The house may get messy and the husband may get mad, but no real consequences. If I stop work, my wife and I can't pay the bills or mortgage.
does this stuff become work when people get paid for it? because plenty of people are paid to take care of kids, cook, clean, etc.
i started a community organization on my own time, wrote a startup grant, wrote bylaws and created the entire organizational structure, recruited and managed volunteers, raised funds, coordinated events, communicated with nonprofit partners, resolved disputes, did a bunch of physical labor, etc. but i didn't get paid for that, so i guess it's not work either? but when i did some of the exact same things at my last job, it was work? that's a pretty bizarre way to look at things.
does this stuff become work when people get paid for it? because plenty of people are paid to take care of kids, cook, clean, etc.
Well if they're getting paid, that's there job. I'd venture a guess and say they do the same things at home for themselves.
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i started a community organization on my own time, wrote a startup grant, wrote bylaws and created the entire organizational structure, recruited and managed volunteers, raised funds, coordinated events, communicated with nonprofit partners, resolved disputes, did a bunch of physical labor, etc.
That's wonderful. I've done the same. It's called VOLUNTEERING not working.
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but i didn't get paid for that, so i guess it's not work either?
No, it's volunteering.
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but when i did some of the exact same things at my last job, it was work? that's a pretty bizarre way to look at things.
Yes, because the company was paying you for the service.
You're missing the comparison of a SAHM stopping "work". If a working husband stops working or takes a day off the mortgage payment won't be made.
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Kids aren't WORK!? Haha. Taking them all, ANYWHERE, if you're going to have a good time and don't want to spend a fortune, can take HOURS of preparation and that means "work"! Thank goodness, if the kids are spread out a little bit, you end up getting a little help from the oldest....in keeping an eye on the littlest ones...IF they're capable and willing. 
