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Good posts. One of my very closest friends was falsely accused of sexual assault, and he was convicted although she was lying. It destroyed him. I have nothing but contempt for women who lie about stuff like this, and who use our legal system to lash out at a man.
Well, the woman in the instance that I talked about is spending the rest of her life in jail. Unfortunately, too little, too late.
There is definitely a double standard domestic violence, stalking, harrassment toward men that probably isn't going to change until more men stand up and say "no, this happened to me, and it's not acceptable or funny or harmless and I'm not weak because I don't like it." Obviously the women who have no boundaries or think that they can get away with bad behavior because they're women are at fault, but the kind of guys who pull the "what, you couldn't stand up to a little woman?" or "I'd love it if women grabbed my butt!" and don't take harassment of other men seriously aren't helping.
I think this is very true. Men are going to have to step up and change things themselves and stop blaming women.
Women had to step up and get laws in place and change the way society dealt with rape, domestic violence and harassment. People forget that these grievances against women were once dismissed, trivialized, and ridiculed.
I think this is very true. Men are going to have to step up and change things themselves and stop blaming women.
Women had to step up and get laws in place and change the way society dealt with rape, domestic violence and harassment. People forget that these grievances against women were once dismissed, trivialized, and ridiculed.
Well, yes and no. Honestly, change only comes about when people come together. Women might have started movements but men had to get behind them as well for things to actually happen. But in this case - the men have to start something in order for women to get on board.
Well, yes and no. Honestly, change only comes about when people come together. Women might have started movements but men had to get behind them as well for things to actually happen. But in this case - the men have to start something in order for women to get on board.
Actually, there are groups of men that have formed with the sole purpose of informing and trying to reduce violence from woman towards men. But you don't hear about it much because of the social stigma around the whole issue.
I really REALLY doubt anyone will sympathize with a man who had their butt grabbed by a woman. "Awe, poor baby" is probably the response he would get.
But a woman complains some guy grabbed her butt, and he is a d-bag.
Actually, there are groups of men that have formed with the sole purpose of informing and trying to reduce violence from woman towards men. But you don't hear about it much because of the social stigma around the whole issue.
I really REALLY doubt anyone will sympathize with a man who had their butt grabbed by a woman. "Awe, poor baby" is probably the response he would get.
But a woman complains some guy grabbed her butt, and he is a d-bag.
Honestly, this comes down to... How can I explain it... I've had my but patted by guys before - and it didn't freak me out. I've never complained to anyone about anything and I've never had anyone fired or thrown out of a bar. But I did have a guy put his hands down the back of my pants onto my butt while I was dancing with him. It really freaked me out but I didn't do anything about it - and one of the reasons was that I was at a gay bar and I wasn't expecting someone to do this to me there. And, no, I don't look like a man so there is no way he could have mistaken me for one. I have no idea why he did this to me and I was able to disentangle myself and get away. But the thing is - it wasn't just about not wanting someone to touch my butt. It was that it was my BARE butt and that he was bigger and stronger than me - and it scared me. It wasn't just that I was uncomfortable with the touching - it was that I was scared. And I think that's a big part of it - the fear. I'm not trying to trivialize women who inappropriately touch men - I think that's unacceptable. I'm just trying to shed some light on why people view these things differently.
Actually, there are groups of men that have formed with the sole purpose of informing and trying to reduce violence from woman towards men. But you don't hear about it much because of the social stigma around the whole issue.
I really REALLY doubt anyone will sympathize with a man who had their butt grabbed by a woman. "Awe, poor baby" is probably the response he would get.
But a woman complains some guy grabbed her butt, and he is a d-bag.
I hear that attitude toward men far, far more from other men ("No one will take you seriously") than I do from women ("Aww, poor baby"). And then you have inevitable comments like these:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99
As far as women harassing men, HARASS ME LADIES, PRETTY PLEASE!?
Well, yes and no. Honestly, change only comes about when people come together. Women might have started movements but men had to get behind them as well for things to actually happen. But in this case - the men have to start something in order for women to get on board.
I'm sure many men got behind the movements because they felt it was right, but did men have to get behind the women in order for changes to be made because it was men in the position to change laws and to see the message got out there thru the media and other avenues. When women started these movements they had no little to no real power to make changes on their own.
The legal and judicial system as well as media is still dominated by men. They are holding themselves back. I think there are plenty women who would support changes to remove these biases.
I'm sure many men got behind the movements because they felt it was right, but did men have to get behind the women in order for changes to be made because it was men in the position to change laws and to see the message got out there thru the media and other avenues. When women started these movements they had no little to no real power to make changes on their own.
The legal and judicial system as well as media is still dominated by men. They are holding themselves back. I think there are plenty women who would support changes to remove these biases.
I agree with that. And then there are the men and women out there that respond to these things by saying things like were are feminizing our men, etc. Human beings are tricky creatures...
Actually, there are groups of men that have formed with the sole purpose of informing and trying to reduce violence from woman towards men. But you don't hear about it much because of the social stigma around the whole issue.
I really REALLY doubt anyone will sympathize with a man who had their butt grabbed by a woman. "Awe, poor baby" is probably the response he would get.
But a woman complains some guy grabbed her butt, and he is a d-bag.
I think that's relatively rare because it necessitates a combination of a guy good looking/powerful enough and a woman who is brash/crude enough to pull that off.
For the guys that happens to on a normal basis, I'd say that the trade off of the attention they get from women is more than fair. I'd imagine those guys get hit on very regularly and have dated many attractive women. Sure, Derek Jeter has to deal with some crazy psychos, but he has his pick of beautiful women. I'm not crying for him.
Most women I know take that kind of stuff in stride. They get propositioned for sex by friend's boyfriends, coworkers boyfriends/husbands, etc. Yea, if you get propositioned by your boss, that really sucks, but I'm sure those women would much rather have to go through that than live a life as an unattractive woman. Again, trade off.
One thing that I have heard from one source that is a bit different is on Indian Reservations. Apparently, rape and sexual assault there is so common that teenage women do sometimes wish they were unattractive.
Honestly, this comes down to... How can I explain it... I've had my but patted by guys before - and it didn't freak me out. I've never complained to anyone about anything and I've never had anyone fired or thrown out of a bar. But I did have a guy put his hands down the back of my pants onto my butt while I was dancing with him. It really freaked me out but I didn't do anything about it - and one of the reasons was that I was at a gay bar and I wasn't expecting someone to do this to me there. And, no, I don't look like a man so there is no way he could have mistaken me for one. I have no idea why he did this to me and I was able to disentangle myself and get away. But the thing is - it wasn't just about not wanting someone to touch my butt. It was that it was my BARE butt and that he was bigger and stronger than me - and it scared me. It wasn't just that I was uncomfortable with the touching - it was that I was scared. And I think that's a big part of it - the fear. I'm not trying to trivialize women who inappropriately touch men - I think that's unacceptable. I'm just trying to shed some light on why people view these things differently.
That is a very good explanation. Men don't have to worry about a being forcibly raped by a woman who makes advances. You guys can just nip it in the bud.
I would dare say if it were another man who grabbed your crotch, men wouldn't be so hesitant to cry foul because there is an element of fear that a man could force unwanted advances on you.
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