Troublesome coworker

[Whyrallnamestaken]

I don't like the "don't ruin this guy's career". You have a right to work in a non-hostile environment. It could get worse. Making it clear that you don't like what he is doing and then telling your boss if this nut refuses to quit. You are not ruining his career, he is. The boss doesn't have to fire the guy, he just needs to make it clear that his actions are not okay with you or him.

[arwenmark]

The Boss needs to know immediately, the longer you wait the less credibilty you have, and you are not ruining his career, he is, I am sure the boss and the company do NOT want to deal with Sexual Harrassment charges, Time for some sensitivity classes perhaps.
As to the stuff on the desk, tell the boss about that as well and that if he leaves anything again you will take it to the boss directly, [the stuff, I mean]. I also like the throw it in the trash right in front of him, but more important the boss know any time he does this. Be sure to make it clear to the boss that you are not and have NEVER been in any kind of relationship with this guy no matter what he may think.
Act on this right away.

[revelated]

Originally Posted by Whyrallnamestaken

I don't like the "don't ruin this guy's career". You have a right to work in a non-hostile environment. It could get worse. Making it clear that you don't like what he is doing and then telling your boss if this nut refuses to quit. You are not ruining his career, he is. The boss doesn't have to fire the guy, he just needs to make it clear that his actions are not okay with you or him.

As a male, I find this to be the wrong first approach. Only because the OP hasn't used the "Direct" answer yet. For guys, if a girl is not direct about what they do/don't want, the guy will assume they're just shy. That's not a bad thing, it's a lack of clarity.

1. Tell him DIRECTLY that you are not interested, and he needs to adjust his behavior towards you. Don't use "soft" words. Be DIRECT and firm.
2. If he stops, then leave it be. If he does NOT stop, THEN go to your boss and note the harrassment, being clear that you advised him directly to leave you alone and he ignored that advice.
3. Your boss should handle the complaint from there, likely with a direct conversation with his boss. That's usually enough to stop it.
4. If that doesn't yield any result, report to HR directly, and be clear that you took two steps: you talked to the offender directly AND you talked to your boss about it, and the behavior continues.

What you've done there is you've given every opportunity to diffuse the situation without conflict but the treatment continued. If HR does not act (which is against the law), or the behavior continues and nobody does anything, you have a lawsuit.

In most cases your boss is required to document that you came to him/her with a complaint and what was done. If they failed to do that, they're in hot water.

In every case HR is required to document that you came to them and what they did. If they failed to do that, they're in hot water.

It's a super-sensitive issue, and 96% of the time, reporting to your boss will make the issue go away. Don't go straight to HR, because you won't have anything backing you up.

[hunterseat]

Originally Posted by YaFace

Don't be "that girl" who runs to HR all the time. Deal with him tactfully by saying "dude could you please stop with this $hit?" Something to that effect. Don't knee him in the balls, that will get you charged with assault. If you tell him point blank and he still tries to play with your boobs, then discreetly go to the boss. Don't ruin this guy's career because he thinks it's flirting and you never set boundaries.

This disgusting attitude is why women put up with this kind of malarky. IT'S A WORK PLACE. This guy is a predator. He crosses the line time and time again. We all agree she can't assault him. What's she supposed to do? Reason with him? Keep up a dialogue? How about she focuses on the work she's paid to do and he goes away and leaves her alone.

(Do you think a squirt gun qualifies as assault cuz it works with the dogs. You could aim for his crotch and people will think he wet himself.)