Angry Rebuffed Coworker (job, company, interest, office)

[BigBadCoworkerProblem]

Please help me. I'm working with a coworker on a project at work that I ASKED to work on. I'm interested in the work, but not the coworker. She is not the type of person I'd volunteer to spend time with. Very loud and obnoxious.

For some reason, she asked to accompany her to the gym last week so that I could show her around. I had NO desire to do this, but she kind of caught me by surprise. She said it loud and rudely, and I tried to demur. I definitely did NOT say yes, but she left before I could say NO. I left to go to the gym without her. She saw me and got VERY VERY angry. She is now interfering with my work on the project..has come to my desk TWICE to be nasty and rude etc.

What should I do? I want to make it CLEAR that I do not plan to spend any of my time outside of work with her, but I also want us to get our work done and help with the new process. Should I have a meeting? I'm planning to continue to be pleasant to her, but let it be clear that work is work.

[veuvegirl]

From the sound of it, you came off extremely rude to her. While she may not be your cup of tea, you handled the initial situation very poorly. She was reaching out trying to get to know you. Instead of being honest with her upfront and saying "I like to keep the gym and working separate, I am sure someone at the gym can help you. Thanks for understanding." You just went to the gym. So you were obnoxious.

Now you'll have to back pedal. I would suggest talking to her now. Apologize for your behavior. Tell her you like to keep work/personal separate and want to work with her to do a great job on the project. Ask if you can both leave the past in the past and move on.

[CapsChick]

Although the co-worker is not someone you want to be friends with, you did ask to work on this project and you should make an effort to have a collegial working relationship. If this is a gym at your office, what's the big deal showing it to her, anyway? It doesn't mean she wants to be daily gym buddies. You should try to meet her halfway since you are working closely together.

[Suburban_Guy]

Hr?

[D. Scott]

I think also just showing her around the gym and meeting her halfway would have been best in this case. You were not required to spend all your free time with her. The small effort would have been worth it. You can apologize but there will likely be friction due to the rejection remaining . Sometimes at work making small sacrifices are necessary. Hope things smooth out somehow here.

[elliotgb]

Shut her big pie hole with a big 'ol pie or a dozen donuts.

Apologize and kill her with kindness while making a point about separation of work and outside activities.