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Good luck with that. I'm not just saying this because you are UrbanCheetah, but a leopard doesn't change his spots.
Even if he vows that this will never happen again, it more than likely will. Time to find a new job.
Yeah it's such a tough spot to be in. It's literally just me and him. If there were more people on the team, I wouldn't feel as bad, but me leaving him leaves a HUGE hole, I am half the company. I really want him and his company to succeed. Even though he has his spoiled brat attitude he is a real good person and he sees me being an integral part of team, and has hopes, future for this place and I think he sees me as part of that. Sometimes I think he wants to get rid of me. That's the thing I can't even tell! I have brought a lot to this company (and I am a very likeable person as they say ).
Part of the reason I am reconsidering is, I have lost 90% of my motivation. I don't know if it's because I am burned out or just not feeling it anymore. I am starting to think startup life is just not for me. This is my first startup that I ever have joined. I took a huge pay cut, living in my dad's basement and working 60+ hours every week. Sure it was easier said than done at the moment, but once I got into it, not enjoying it as much anymore. Just exhausted. For example this weekend I worked Saturday from 10am to midnight and then Sunday 6am-10pm. My friends wanted to hangout on Saturday, I couldn't. Sunday my friend wanted to do brunch and I couldn't and couldn't even watch the Bears game.
Yeah it's such a tough spot to be in. It's literally just me and him. If there were more people on the team, I wouldn't feel as bad, but me leaving him leaves a HUGE hole, I am half the company. NOT your problem. I really want him and his company to succeed. That's kind of you but if HE wants his company to succeed he shouldn't abuse the only employee he has. Even though he has his spoiled brat attitude he is a real good person and he sees me being an integral part of , and has hopes, future for this place and I think he sees me as part of that. Don't be so sure about the future. People like this often get to a level of success and then cut loose the people who helped them get there. And if he was truly a good person, he wouldn't treat you the way he does. Sometimes I think he wants to get rid of me. That may be true, but he's not in a position to get rid of you yet. That's the thing I can't even tell! I have brought a lot to this company (and I am a very likeable person as they say ).
Part of the reason I am reconsidering is, I have lost 90% of my motivation. I don't know if it's because I am burned out or just not feeling it anymore. I am starting to think startup life is just not for me. This is my first startup that I ever have joined. I took a huge pay cut, living in my dad's basement and working 60+ hours every week. Sure it was easier said than done at the moment, but once I got into it, not enjoying it as much anymore. Just exhausted. For example this weekend I worked Saturday from 10am to midnight and then Sunday 6am-10pm. My friends wanted to hangout on Saturday, I couldn't. Sunday my friend wanted to do brunch and I couldn't and couldn't even watch the Bears game.
Then his personality doesn't help either.
See some of my responses above in red.
If he was treating you well, if he was a motivating leader and you were having fun, you wouldn't be burned out. You took a pay cut, and are not living the life you want to live. And exhausted, because it's emotionally draining. Anyone would be exhausted given your situation.
Your first obligation in life is to yourself. He's not respecting you, and there is no gain for you in staying there. Was he working over the weekend while you were working? I doubt it.
You're trying to be a nice guy, but there's a difference between being nice and being a fool. Don't be a fool. Go get a job where you earn the pay your deserve, are afforded the respect you deserve, and work reasonable hours so you can have the social life you should have. This guy would cut you loose in a second. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for you. It's obvious he doesn't appreciate it, so why continue?
If he was treating you well, if he was a motivating leader and you were having fun, you wouldn't be burned out. You took a pay cut, and are not living the life you want to live. And exhausted, because it's emotionally draining. Anyone would be exhausted given your situation.
Your first obligation in life is to yourself. He's not respecting you, and there is no gain for you in staying there. Was he working over the weekend while you were working? I doubt it.
You're trying to be a nice guy, but there's a difference between being nice and being a fool. Don't be a fool. Go get a job where you earn the pay your deserve, are afforded the respect you deserve, and work reasonable hours so you can have the social life you should have. This guy would cut you loose in a second. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for you. It's obvious he doesn't appreciate it, so why continue?
Well he does appreciate me when I do a good job and he has told me this. The problem again is he is too impulsive. He doesn't think before he speaks. So if I do a fantastic job, he jumps in joy and praises me, tells me that he will give me a raise when he can. If I make mistake or he doesn't like something I do (even if it's not work related) I get scolded like a child. The problem with him is he doesn't know how to control himself and filter what he says. He is a nice guy and doesn't mean to be an *******, he really just doesn't know any better. Based on comments/jokes he has made, he doesn't get it. They aren't ******* comments but ones a leader should not make in front of employees. Which is still a problem and I am not excusing. It just makes it a little harder for me because he has been a real nice person to me overall. I know in my first description he sounded BAD like a bad person/*******, but I don't think it's so much bad, but more so very annoying and disheartnening the way he behaves.
I am out of here be it voluntarily our involuntarily. It's just a matter of when. I just don't want to go from one undesirable position to another. Tonight I am brushing off that resume and starting to decide where I can go from here.
So I decided I am going to leave and have begun to make connections and search. My boss is too unstable as is the company. We had our talk, and the following day he told me that he is going to seek therapy as he feels he really has some issues with his self control. While I appreciate that he is willing to do all that, I feel the damage has already been done. All my life every job I have had I have felt great about myself, and complaints about me were almost non-existent. Here I feel has I am a bad child, spoiled goods, and I go home and actually feel bad about myself. My confidence has plummeted. I feel a big part of it is all the nitpicking he does on me. I am too slow. I eat too slow. I am not aware of my surroundings. I should take notes in a laptop instead of a computer. I turn the page in my notebook too loudly. I don't think critically. I have attention problems. These types of things and more I am told on a daily basis. The funny thing is in all my previous jobs, these criticisms NEVER came about to me.
I feel bad now because it looks like he is going to try, but these are personality issues that he has, and they don't take two weeks to fix. I have no benefits, I took a HUGE pay cut to come work here, and now live with my dad in a basement. I gave up a cushy job, benefits, my apartment, buying a car, etc. to come work here. I was willing to sacrifice all that because of the opportunity and ability to work with such a great boss. But I am seeing that is not the case. He is a good person, but has some personality issues that need to be fixed.
Am I doing the right thing by deciding to move on? Do you agree or disagree with my choice? It's a tough decision because I love the work I do, but right now my happiness is a 6/10 which is not good.
Last edited by UrbanCheetah; 09-14-2014 at 10:14 PM..
Am I doing the right thing by deciding to move on? Do you agree or disagree with my choice? It's a tough decision because I love the work I do, but right now my happiness is a 6/10 which is not good.
I think quite a few have been recommending from the beginning that you move on.
Yet you seem to keep wavering on this, and surely no one who advised you as such is going to change their minds?
Seems like you are more venting out your frustrations and anxieties on this thread, than really seeking advice. Which is not meant as a criticism against you, because I'm sure all of us have gone through similar things in the past. The internet has become our defacto way to interact with others and vent out our daily anger, fears, and frustrations (especially being anonymous and all).
Anyways, I'm looking for another job myself even though I have not been on the job long. I simply cannot get along with some co-workers. I tried my best to be nice to them yet nothing works. I have had enough of their disrespect and condescending attitudes towards me.
I actually like the work and find it very satisfying, even though there are long hours involved. But I am not happy, and why should I have to put up with this nonsense.
Thanks and you are right. I think the challenge I am having internally, is that I had so many hopes and dreams with this place and this boss. So it's very hard to move one. But my friends, family and everyone on this board is telling me to move on. On the contrary I don't think there is a single person that has told me to stay (other than a couple of other people). It's just a very hard decision and I think venting it out here, and just trying to really confirm that the decision is right is very difficult.
I had never felt so passionate, motivated and excited about a job or company. I was like that until a month and half ago, and it just came crashing down. Inside I keep telling myself maybe I should give it more time, but I am starting to dread the work and I prefer when my boss isn't around and not in the office. Big problem which is why I should leave.
I decided that tomorrow I am putting in a notice. I have nothing else lined up, but today I was criticized and scolded over the phone for an hour. For an HOUR!
I never cry ( I am guy btw) but I feel like s*** and I can't take it anymore and feel like I am on the verge of crying. I am done. I have already reached out to my network for opportunities.
I decided that tomorrow I am putting in a notice. I have nothing else lined up, but today I was criticized and scolded over the phone for an hour. For an HOUR!
I never cry ( I am guy btw) but I feel like s*** and I can't take it anymore and feel like I am on the verge of crying. I am done. I have already reached out to my network for opportunities.
When you give notice, don't give the actual reason. He might use it against you if you need a reference.
Because when you are interviewing, you never want to say anything a bad about a former company. So your reason for leaving might be because you had reduced your salary significantly for this 'start up' and after living on that salary for 9 months, you realize you are making well under market rate and you don't see the start-up paying any more salary because they aren't doing that well. Or make it shorter. But just DON'T badmouth the situation with your boss either TO your boss or TO any future employers/interviewers.
When you give notice, don't give the actual reason. He might use it against you if you need a reference.
Because when you are interviewing, you never want to say anything a bad about a former company. So your reason for leaving might be because you had reduced your salary significantly for this 'start up' and after living on that salary for 9 months, you realize you are making well under market rate and you don't see the start-up paying any more salary because they aren't doing that well. Or make it shorter. But just DON'T badmouth the situation with your boss either TO your boss or TO any future employers/interviewers.
Here is what I am planning on saying. That I don't believe I am the right fit for what he needs and that this has made me want to move on (which this is true, but not the primary reason). I am obviously not going go on the offense, but I just to let him know that I am feeling disengaged, and that he deserves to have an employee that is a better fit as does the company. That I want to see the company succeed, as well as him. In order for that to happen it's probably best that I move out of the way, and go somewhere where my talents are better matched.
Is that good?
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