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I have a slightly complicated situation, my employer at the moment "likes" the work I produce, and I have very high job security. The only way I could ruin my job security is to do something absolutely stupid, since EVEN if I don't get the job done (I'll be put somewhere else that's on the same level).
My job requires of me for the most part; be a polite, breathing being who can look like they're being productive. So, pretty much, it's fail-proof, but it requires social politics.
The situation is, I feel very guilty, but I feel like I need to keep my eyes on another path until I get my second career going. I need to do my best of course, but some of the managers expect me to work off-duty hours. Now, it's up to me if I do that or not, and if I do that; great. If I don't do that; I am still employed. As long as they like me, they (in general) don't care what I really do. The people I truly respect aren't going to be there 6 months from now, and so if I don't accomplish what I need to do... then it doesn't matter because those people are gone. I just want to try my best for them, but I could care less for myself.
Should I be driven to go after what I really want in life?
Or should I give them my 100% devotion, knowing I won't be in this field any longer than I have too?
It's really just a huge guilt on my head, since I am the type of person who wants to give 100% dedication workaholic attitude.
What is stopping you from going after what you really want? I'm not really understanding your issue. Why would you feel guilty?
Well my job expects me to get certifications, so I could do more work for them in the future. It's more of an investment for myself in the long run, but doing it for myself, enables me to do more for them.
I only have to work with them for 10 months... all the major people I like are leaving in 2-3 months. So I have to ride out 7-8 months with them after that.
I just don't want to do it... I study for it sometimes, but it's just so tedious... and I have such good job security. Actually, to secure my job more, I could do other things that have a stronger effect; like looking good, more people skills, more smiling.... that plays a bigger role in securing my job.
I am going to say screw it pretty soon, and just focus on my professionalism and myself.
Full time work with benefits doesn't grow on trees anymore. Have another offer before you give up a sure thing!
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