Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i was here a while back--the girl that tanked every interview she went on. since then, i've done better at not tanking--asking questions, doing more research on places i was going to be interviewed for, but now i have encountered more problems.
in the last two interviews i went to, i have been told that i don't have enough personality--a point that is laughable. i'm a musician and i would not have fans or a following without personality. i am in an industry that heavily relies on personality to set myself apart from others. in my day job, at a dysfunctional retail store, most of our customers are regulars and live in the area, and really like me. i don't think it's possible to like someone without personality and rely on them to help you shop or style outfits without personality.
in an interview, i try to be as clear and concise and as NOT shy as possible. in reality i really am not shy, i just get extremely unsure of myself when i'm being interviewed because i know that in their heads, they've made up their minds. no matter how nicely i dress (i work in retail so it's always designer clothing) or how polite i am, the decision is made. and to some extent, i don't blame them. it's been years since i've had to polish my interview skills or try to tone down my personality. which leads me to my next issue...
i've been at my dead-end job for five years. at first, the plan was to finish school and leave, but i changed my major so many times i ran out of financial aid. i paid for two semesters of school, but just lost interest completely. i planned to leave after i got promoted to a supervisor, but then management changed and so, due to issues between the operations manager, store manager and I, that didn't happen. so ever since i wasn't promoted and three (three!) other people were, i decided that i would have better luck elsewhere.
i've been looking for a job on and off for over a year. and while interviews are few and far between (as of late 2014), i just feel like my desperation to get out of my current environment is being conveyed as entitlement. i know i can do my job and do it well. i know i can communicate effectively but when i feel as if i am not being listened to (which happened in an interview last month), i don't know where to go to move past that. i can no longer tolerate my current work environment--there are days when i call in sick or try to leave early because i can't take the insanity that has taken over the current climate. ever since management changed, there has been more of a dog-eat-dog mentality. i see girls crying in bathroom stalls or passing out on the sales floor and plots to backdoor people all the time. a few coworkers have had nervous breakdowns because of the environment. management is the source of the dysfunction, because until about three years ago, things were great. currently, there is a plan to backdoor whoever is left from the old management (75% of them quit or were fired already). i fall in to the remaining 25% and it's starting already. i cannot express how much i would like to leave this job because it stresses me out and raises my blood pressure and how much energy i have to expend to make it through a shift, but my friends are starting to think that my eagerness to leave is being viewed as entitlement. i don't feel entitled, not in the least. i feel like everyone else is more qualified than me and has stellar references and is much more educated and has more connections than me. i feel like i can't express all of these things in an interview and it's 'entitlement'....
i need a lot of help. they want me gone at my current job and if i'm not being told that i 'don't have enough personality' i'm not getting called for an interview at all, and it's scary and disheartening. i don't get interviews that often anyway, because there's often 200 applicants for 25 jobs.
anyone care to offer an opinion? i need a new job and need to leave before i am fired for nonsense because the current management does so out of spite (my old managers did not like the new managers and vice versa and we, the employees, suffer).
*Hug* I know exactly how you feel- it can suck to know that you're capable of so much more than where you're at, yet others won't hire you. I sometimes wonder about the "entitlement" issue; why can't I be happy with what I have? There's nothing at all wrong with wanting more out of life. If you're miserable in your job, then you should do all that you can to leave. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are, and all I can say is to spend most of your free time job hunting. As other threads here say, a lot of online job postings are for jobs that have been filled, but still apply because you never know. If you have to, take out the phone book or the online Yellow Pages and call companies/stores that you might be interested in. It might be a matter of getting another retail job which might pay less than you make now, to at least get out of the toxic environment that you're in. And then try to keep your head up while doing that job, and continue applying elsewhere. Always follow up on your applications- make them remember your name and know that you're tenacious in wanting to work there.
i was here a while back--the girl that tanked every interview she went on. since then, i've done better at not tanking--asking questions, doing more research on places i was going to be interviewed for, but now i have encountered more problems.
in the last two interviews i went to, i have been told that i don't have enough personality--a point that is laughable. i'm a musician and i would not have fans or a following without personality. i am in an industry that heavily relies on personality to set myself apart from others. in my day job, at a dysfunctional retail store, most of our customers are regulars and live in the area, and really like me. i don't think it's possible to like someone without personality and rely on them to help you shop or style outfits without personality.
--snip--
As laughable as you find it, that's the reality. No matter how much you disagree, you've been told multiples times that your personality is keeping you from being hired. As they say - perception is reality.
I also think you need to figure out what you want. If you can't do that, you'll project that uncertainty through your demeanor. Making it very hard for potential employers to have confidence in you to do the job they need you to.
Trust me, you need to show confidence when you interview. Any negative attitude and they won't consider you. I'm shy too, but I'm working on my interview skills.
You sound desperate. You sound like you are running away from your current job and not to a great opportunity that you have been working towards and that comes through in your interviews. IMO
The fact that you feel like "everyone else is more qualified than me and has stellar references and is much more educated and has more connections than me." Is also evident in your interviews. Even if you don't realize it!
An interviewer wants to hear about what excites you about your career, what you BELIEVE, not FEEL, you can bring to Company X that no other applicant can bring.
Just reading your intro was enough to tell me why you are not getting interviews and why people say you don't have enough "personality."
Interviewers aren't looking for stand up comedians or musician*slash*nice saleslady. They are looking for someone who is excited about the company, the job and the opportunity. They are looking for someone who is engaged in the process and is looking to contribute overall to the company.
All I got from your intro was: "Hi, I am miserable at my current job and desperate to leave before I am shoved out the door. I am a musician, so this is just something to do to make money. I communicate effectively, if people would just listen to me. I'm sure everyone else you interview is more skilled, qualified, has better references, and is probably looking for an actual job and not a paycheck, but hey, I can't stand my current income producing hellhole, so I figured I would see if this was any better."
I wouldn't hire you either. You need to stop and really take some time to think about where you are going and why. Introspection about your career and your future goals are in order if you really want to project the personality of a candidate that wants to be hired and that someone wants to hire. IMO
in the last two interviews i went to, i have been told that i don't have enough personality--a point that is laughable. i'm a musician and i would not have fans or a following without personality.
1) Puzzled as to your reaction! You are being told you don't have the personality for the job... and you consider that laughable?? Really?
2) I know plenty of musicians (dad was a popular one in my area). Many have fans and a following because of their musical talent, not their personality.
i found it laughable because they weren't commission based, i.e. no hard selling. there is upselling involved, which i currently do. i don't know how to show my personality AND be professional, so i tone it way down. outside of work i jump around a lot and use sarcasm and curse like a sailor and make facial expressions at the end of every statement. no way would i do that in an interview. i'm very over the top and most people would grow tired of it quickly.
i don't know how to bring out that in a positive way in an interview. that's what i think i'm having a hard time doing. i do know how to smile and nod and be polite and answer questions concisely and pretend to not be nervous. but i'm also not good when i'm being placed in a situation where i'm being peppered with questions, one right after another. i tend to sound like im blabbing, and hence, feel defeated. how is this employer going to see anything but some babbling girl with a baby voice?
i don't walk in feeling defeated. it's usually setting in as soon as the interview ends.
also, i'm not running away, but i don't believe i should stay where i am not wanted.
should i stop saying that i'm a musician when i get asked 'what are your hobbies'? previously i would tell hiring managers that i read a lot and listened to music, but i felt that was boring and not really accurate. that is what i picture not enough personality as--someone who is infinitely and utterly boring. i find it laughable because i don't understand and have never heard this until now. i usually hear 'you're not a good fit' which i can kind of understand. that leaves much less to be desired than 'you don't have enough personality'. what does that even mean????
yeah, i'm extremely desperate to leave.
i don't know how to sum up what makes me different from other applicants and therefore special. i think i need help quantifying my skills and leaving behind a trail of glitter. i can talk about myself and my music and my hobbies and interests but i get in front of someone who has the ability to hire me and i'm immediately like, no, i can't talk about any of this....it has to be work and work related only. none of that stuff about throwing demos at people and giving hugs to fans and countless hours i spent promoting myself and blah blah blah.
i want to advance in my career but i know that i have to have something to rely on in the event that music doesn't work out. i'm really interested in high end retail, and have been for a long time. it still probably sounds like i don't care/am not interested but i do, otherwise i wouldn't be here asking the help of others.
should i stop saying that i'm a musician when i get asked 'what are your hobbies'? previously i would tell hiring managers that i read a lot and listened to music, but i felt that was boring and not really accurate. that is what i picture not enough personality as--someone who is infinitely and utterly boring.
Don't bring up your not-related-to-work hobbies was the advice my dad gave me years back. If you're interviewing for a people-related position (like customer service), maybe mention the music hobby as part of, "I love interacting with my fans after I perform!".
You mentioned promoting yourself- maybe apply to marketing jobs and talk about your music hobby as part of, "I love to talk to people about my music, promoting my demo, listening to the feedback of my street team," etc.
Maybe sit down and make a list of how you can relate your hobbies/skills to different jobs that you're applying to.
Last edited by t1nkerbell24; 02-03-2015 at 01:37 PM..
Reason: clarification
I think you need to find some friends who would give you honest feedback, set up some mock interviews (with your friends doing the interview), and have someone video tape it. It will be a harsh wake-up call (just like hearing one's voice recorded for the first time can be), but I am sure it will help you get a better sense of your demeanor in these interviews.
If I were feeling as desperate as you, I would do this. You need to be able to see how you appear to others in order to figure out where you might be going wrong.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
