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Before you left did you really... I mean.. REALLY think long and hard that you were making a life-changing move that would separate you from your family and friends and what used to be the norm?
You made the choice... you should stick it out... especially if you really truly haven't "tried" to adapt to your new location and the new life you are now living.
Let me ask you.. since you moved, have friends or family even considered visiting or kept in touch? When YOU make a life changing decision like this... it's much harder for you (especially in the short-term) to consistently visit and be able to constantly keep in touch. Have those close to you been keeping in touch?
Listen... my wife and I along with my 2 year old daughter moved across the country from Eastern Pennsylvania to Las Vegas, NV because I had a job relocation opportunity. However, we both discussed a lot about it and thought very hard before making the final decision to go for it. We both grew up on the East Coast (NY NJ PA) our whole lives... and this incredible opportunity came about to go.... and we went for it, and so far we've been here since February and haven't turned back.
We of course miss home because just like you all our friends and family are there... heck we're lucky enough to be living in Vegas for the fact that it's one of the most sought out tourist destinations in the world, so in 5 months we've already had friends and family visit. But... at the end of the day... you have to do what's best for you and you seem to have done that. Now do yourself a favor and do whatever it takes to MAKE IT WORK... and "distract" yourself from getting down about being away from what used to be your normal life and all your friends and family. You have one life to live.... this is now your "new normal".... do whatever it takes to absolutely enjoy every minute of it.
Look.. one final thing.. in my opinion I think the hardest part of this whole thing is the fact that you moved far away and YOU DO LOVE YOUR JOB! So... the "hardest part" is over... go out and LOVE YOUR LIFE! =) .... I honestly think you'd regret 100x more leaving your job and going back home...
I think you need to have a frank discussion with your brothers about your concerns. You are making assumptions about what they can and can't do without speaking to them. Sure they have kids but don't they also have wives/girlfriends that take care of the children too? Depending on the age of the children, they may need less care and supervision than your mother.
I also think you need to talk to management about the possibility of working remotely. If they're completely and totally against you moving away permanently, would they allow you to take a sabbatical? Could you go look after your mom for one or two months without pay and then return to your job? If not, could you and your brothers pool some money and hire a home health aide to check in on her when they can't be there?
I do wonder if the urge to move back home wouldn't be so strong if you had a vibrant social life in your own city. Sometimes we have to be deliberate in creating the life we want and going out and pursuing friends just like we would a job.
It sounds to me like all you are doing is looking for an excuse to go back home because you haven't made many friends.
Get out of your apartment and go looking for stuff to do, and do it alone. Once people see you are comfortable in your own skin and in your own life, people will gravitate towards you.
Join a bowling league or a dart tournament. Go sing Karaoke. Check out the music scene. Volunteer for a rescue mission. Go to church.
Actually, yes I have been debating to go back for the past year but with my mother falling ill, it only pushes me even more to go back. And I have tried to attend meetup groups and put myself out there but at this age (25), alot of ppl are settled down with their bf/gf, or they just try to hit on me and I'm just like.. dude.. I don't want a bf, I want friends! Lol.. sounds really lane but thats how it is
Hey All,
So long story short.. I relocated last year to a new city due to a job offer I couldn't refuse. And the work really is great. Awesome pay, super flexible schedule, great managers..
But even 1.5 year later, I am still very unhappy in this new city Nothing wrong with the city but I miss my friends and family back home..
And recently, my mom had gotten very ill and is now in rehab. I want to move back to be able to care for her or at least be close to her. I don't trust my brothers taking care of her as they have their own family to deal with and my younger brother is going off to college soon.
I thought for the sake of my career I should just try to stick it out but after 1.5 year and I'm still unhappy as ever.. I'm thinking of perhaps resigning? I know my managers and the company wouldn't be happy and wouldn't want me to leave but I feel like I'm at a dead end
What would you guys do in my shoes and/ have any of you been in a similar situation? I'm just so torn because I know if I give up this job, I doubt another company would give me an opportunity as great as this one
Quote:
Originally Posted by K.Uni
I know if I give up this job, I doubt another company would give me an opportunity as great as this one
You're exactly right. Remember, in today's employment competition:
A Job In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush.
A Job Saved Is A Job Earned.
Early To Bed And Early To Rise Makes A Promotion Healthy Wealthy And Wise.
You Can Lead A Horse To The Watering Cooler But You Can't Make Him Drink:
Give A Man A Job And You Feed Him For Life. Teach A Man How To Apply For A Job And You Feed Him For 1 Day.
There Is More Than One Job Opening To Skin A Cat.
You Can Teach A Dog New Job Skills.
and I recommend you move her in with you or in the same city you are in so that she is nearby.
Last edited by In_Correct; 08-04-2015 at 11:37 PM..
If not, get yourself out there, join a site like meetup.com - I've made so many friends from meetup and I've even made my own group. It's great for really getting out there and meeting people. So many different groups depending on what you are interested in. When I moved to a new state in 2011 I was determined to make friends and that's how I did it. Joined a book club, a meditation club, etc.
Sorry. But people on those sites have their own problems as well. Then you run across a nutcase who knows you are all alone in a new city. Plus it's cool for temporary aquaintances but not full blown friends. If moms is sick then it may be time to call it quits or take a leave of absence. It's easier for guys to relocate to a new city than it is for gals. I would have op go to where she feels more safe and loved and connected. Or I would tell op to move her mom out there with her. Jmo
Hey All,
So long story short.. I relocated last year to a new city due to a job offer I couldn't refuse. And the work really is great. Awesome pay, super flexible schedule, great managers..
But even 1.5 year later, I am still very unhappy in this new city Nothing wrong with the city but I miss my friends and family back home..
And recently, my mom had gotten very ill and is now in rehab. I want to move back to be able to care for her or at least be close to her. I don't trust my brothers taking care of her as they have their own family to deal with and my younger brother is going off to college soon.
I thought for the sake of my career I should just try to stick it out but after 1.5 year and I'm still unhappy as ever.. I'm thinking of perhaps resigning? I know my managers and the company wouldn't be happy and wouldn't want me to leave but I feel like I'm at a dead end
What would you guys do in my shoes and/ have any of you been in a similar situation? I'm just so torn because I know if I give up this job, I doubt another company would give me an opportunity as great as this one
Long story short:
Your geographic location is not what is making you unhappy. Your situation and your attitude (meaning how you interpret the situation) is what is making you unhappy.
It is hard for me to not think that you will bring your problems & issues with you wherever you go. I understand missing your friends, but when you move that means you have to make new ones eventually. Until then, you have skype (which wasn't an option not so long ago). Money isn't everything, but life is too short to not make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in. Find some interesting activities or meet up groups and try to network.
Don't run for home until you've made an earnest effort to improve your life where you are. Nostalgia frequently makes things seem better than they were after the fact. Even if you move back, i very much doubt that all of your problems will disappear.
You guys seem to think a job where you can be happy at is a unicorn and would kill to keep it
Truthfully, work and happiness do not often hold hands. I know some people are just naturally happy and some people aren't, but in today's world, the work culture is all about doing more with less. And if, for all practical purposes, the work cannot be shouldered by one employee, that hapless individual is fired or let go with another poor sucker taking their place. No wonder so many people are stressed out, trying to attain impossible goals.
According to a recent report, 52% of workers in the US are unhappy at work. Worldwide, Gallup says employees unhappy with their jobs outnumber those who are happy with their work by 2 to 1. Another more recent survey indicates an even higher percentage of job dissatisfaction - 70%.
I know polls and survey results can vary, but I have yet to come across anything that says the majority of the workforce is happy with their current work situation. So yeah, if you find a job where you feel engaged and satisfied, it's not the norm. This does not mean that the OP cannot find a job she enjoys if she moves back home, but she should be aware that odds are not in her favor, at least initially. She may have to look for awhile to find something similar to what she has in terms of job satisfaction.
I still find it odd that so many people think the OP won't find another job of similar type that she won't enjoy...
You guys seem to think a job where you can be happy at is a unicorn and would kill to keep it
Not just a unicorn a purple unicorn! Don't underestimate how many awful; abusive companies are out there nor how difficult it is to get a job at one that is not.
It's hard to find a job you can often simply tolerate, much less love. You need to make the location work.
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Stay Put:
Nothing wrong with the city but I miss my friends and family back home..
