Traumas Over the Years That Continue Today (debt, temporary, employer)

[john.ellis2015]

Although I'm not in dire straits at the moment, my 45-year life has been hard. For one thing, when I was a senior in high school, my father became legally blind and had to go on disability. This sent "shock waves", throughout my family's financial situation.
Even after graduating from college years later, I could not find a sense of job stability or security.

I was briefly in law school, but a professor was very rude to me in front of other students. The embarrassment was so severe that I dropped out.

From then forward, I had a few temporary professional jobs. Ultimately, I had my sights set on becoming an FBI agent. But, I failed the second exam and was not allowed into the Academy.

I have had other personal and job-related issues. Many years ago, after first starting out with my wife in our marriage, I was fired by a state government and was done so right in front of my wife. Emotionally, I will never recover from that.

Often, I have had a hard time holding a job due to mistakes that I've made. In fact, even though I'm a Microsoft Certified Professional and had a career as a Dynamics GP consultant, I always had a hard time understanding the product and therefore could not create a viable career.

To add to my list of failures, I failed at the CPA exam about fifteen years ago. This seriously stymied my career, as an accounting software consultant.

Needless to say, I do not have much money in my retirement fund.

So, my wife and I last fall began to start a new life here in southern California. But, the job that I moved out here for is not going well. And, I can't move on to a different job, because my employer will make me repay the $7,000.00 bonus they gave me to move out here and start this job. With all of the debt that I have and without any money, I cannot repay that.

To top it all off, my wife and I have been unable to have a child. Too, we do not have any family or friends here where we live.

All of this means that I'm always finding myself in trouble, no matter how hard I work or try at something.

[maus]

All I can say is we have ups and downs in life. Maybe your next chapter will be better than some of the low points you shared with us.

I haven't had a similar experience to you, but have had severe disappointments in my life that let me down more often than I care to admit.

You are married and have some important in your life with you right now. Maybe if you focus on building that relationship, it might help you get through some tough times with your disappointing job right now.