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This past week, since the 19th, has likely been the most difficult week in my life. On the 19th, I was laid off from a company I had been with for 6 years. I did receive a very small severance package, but nothing else besides that. To complicate matters even worse, I had just bought a house back in April, so I am still in the process of recovering from all the moving expenses and whatnot.
I am a single 31 year old IT Professional Male who has lived in the same area my entire life, this area is all I've ever known. I live in a very small beach community which is nearly all military, tourism, and retirement, there is very little in terms of employment (other than medical, military, and tourism) and the cost of living, in relation to the average salary in this area, is very expensive. I lived alone, paid child support, pay for private schooling for my daughter, etc. My salary, before being laid off, was much greater than the average household income for this area and it's extremely unlikely that I'll be able to find another job that has close to the same salary. There is also nowhere for me to cut back, I have no car payment, no cable/sat TV, etc.
I receive a call today that the one job (which had 150 applicants) fell through, which was pretty much all my eggs in one basket as I haven't been able to find much else in terms of employment. We have 4 military bases in this area, and nearly all of the IT jobs are on base and require clearance (which is great if you just got out of the military and need and job here) but I cannot get clearance due to past financial issues.
So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am now considering moving in with my dad, who lives in a major city which on many news sites is ranked as one of the best towns for tech jobs (and employment in general) and has one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country. I even had a local employment recruiter told me that corporate IT jobs in this area are very scarce and many people have had to move away to find employment, and she has clients who want to move here but are unable to find employment. It also doesn't help that one of our only/largest IT companies shut down which had over 300 employees recently.
The issue I am struggling with is leaving my daughter and mom (which is really the only reason why I am even here as while living on the beach is nice, being here my entire life has made this area rather boring). Sure, there is facetime and whatnot now which helps greatly, but not the same seeing your daughter on a regular basis. I don't have much of a support network here, or a social life, and the dating scene is rather poor.
Anyway... Just curious, have any of you had to move due to employment options? Did you leave family and if so, how did you cope? Thankfully I have my brother, dad, and step mom to look forward to and even have some other family around the area as well whom I've never met.
I honestly want to move because I know I won't be able to find another IT position that has the same salary as before, I'm bored of this area and the long, hot, humid summers and no seasons. I also have never had much luck with the dating scene here since most women in my area date military men, or "beach buffs". The mean age in this area is well over my age whereas in my dads city, the mean age is 31 as there is a major college and the city is geared towards young professionals. The IT market grew by 37% since 2010 there. The city is very appealing, would be nice to have four seasons as I've never lived in an area with snow or an actual fall, and I wouldn't constantly be worrying "what if" should anything happen to my job as there are a lot more options there. If I stay here, I will most definitely have to rent my house out, and move in with my mom/grandma (they live together) and wouldn't really have a life. I've been torn on relocating for nearly 10 years now, long before I had my daughter, but now that I have her, child support, private school, etc... It's a bit more of a priority I have decent employment where I can support myself as well as her.
Sounds like you need affirmation for what you already know.
The only problem you have is your daughter. You can send for her on a monthly basis, or take a plane trip back (if its that far). You gotta make a living,...and you won't do her much good moping around. Just get to it, and maybe your ex and daughter will follow.
Do what's best for you right now---that's all you can do.
Sounds like you need affirmation for what you already know.
The only problem you have is your daughter. You can send for her on a monthly basis, or take a plane trip back (if its that far). You gotta make a living,...and you won't do her much good moping around. Just get to it, and maybe your ex and daughter will follow.
Do what's best for you right now---that's all you can do.
Thanks. It's a rather long distance move, 850 miles or so, 15-16 hours one way. I always drive straight through so it's simply a day of driving which isn't terrible. If I got 3 weeks of vacation a year, I could make 3 visits a year which isn't terrible. I could leave early Saturday Morning, be back home late that evening, spend Sunday-Saturday, and drive back Sunday and go back to work Monday. It'll be a little tough, but would give me a lot of time. I could also simply fly which is only 3-4 hours, but I'm not a big fan of flying and it's a lot more expensive than driving is as I have a rather small car so it only costs me around $60 one way ($120 round trip) whereas a plane ride would be $350 or so and that's if I plan months in advance, otherwise it's closer to $500 to $600.
My ex-wife currently lives a little over an hour away from me now, and she also doesn't like this area and has talked on and off about moving away too, mainly because of the cost of living/employment in this area. She has a bachelor's degree in nursing as an RN, I have no college background, nor any type of certifications, but due to experience, etc... I've always had a higher salary than her which is why she wants to move, because she could make 50% to 100% more elsewhere. Her mom lives in CA and her mom keeps trying to get her to move out there. However, I honestly can't see her moving because her son from a previous marriage has severe autism and she has a great support network here for him and my mom has always been there for our daughter so even if I left, my mom would at least be here for my daughter and them two have an extremely close bond as she's been there for her more than my ex-wife and I ever have been due to work, separation, divorce, and other factors.
It's pretty apparent to me that you need to move. You ex wife may not like the idea, but if she expects you to continue to pay child support and schooling then you need to go to a place with better career prospects. It's a shame that you have to be so far from your daughter but you'll have to do the best you can. If you can make more money, maybe you can spring for a plane ticket so that your daughter can visit(in addition to you visiting her a few times a year) -- if you can work that out with your ex.
You also need an area where you have better choices to date. Otherwise, there is a danger that you'll settle and end up with someone that you really won't be happy with.
Is there a reason that you are limiting yourself to your current city and the one your dad live in? Could you find something less than 15 hours away? Atlanta, New Orleans, Charlotte, Orlando, etc... are all much closer. Not to mention medium-sized cities.
Quicken Loans is always recruiting IT heavily. I know dozens of people working in the company, although no one in IT. Anyway, I know you earn 200 hours off PTO in your first year (5 weeks), and go up to 240 hours in your second year. Most positions can also work remotely at times. Detroit wouldn't be much farther than the 15 hours you are considering. And the cost of living is very low. Everyone I know working for QL is paid very well, most making six figures. Just an idea as it may offer you more flexibility with the extra PTO and the ability to work from home at times. They have a much smaller office in Charlotte, but I'm not sure if they have much IT there.
Have you looked in to IT consulting? Often the assignments are out of town and you fly to the client during the week and can fly home on the weekends. There is also the option of work partially at home for many of the jobs when not at the client's site. The pay is usually pretty great considering it is not a life style most people want. Not sure what your expertise is in but I think it is worth exploring.
In 2013, I was working at a local helpdesk for about $22,000 per year. I moved and immediately made $50,000 with benefits. I moved back to where I was at three years ago and make about $60k.
Don't rush into the first thing you can find. You've only been looking 2 weeks and that's not really enough time for most companies to look at your resume an interview, much less make an offer. While it may be true that there isn't much in Pensacola, there are plenty of other cities much nearer than 15-16 hour drives away. Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, Atlanta, New Orleans, and Nashville are bigger cities. Heck, even Tallahassee has a large young professional population with tons of single women in your age bracket, but my understanding is that it's kind of a difficult IT market. The COL is low and the schools are good, however.
FL has a reputation for being a tough job market. I can't add much OP as I myself am in a similar position and similar age to you. I chose to move away and so far it's been mostly fun. I am currently 2000 miles away and working a temp job for short term cash. Once the temp job is over I will head to a few more cities to sight see while I put in apps. I rented out my house and sold my belongings. I now live in a trailer and to be honest, it's not that bad! I wish you luck and may our generation pull out of this employment rut!
Btw, I vote for move now!
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