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Lest people think I'm being negative, I just don't want OP to be distracted by suggestions that won't help her until she is able to function as a socially appropriate, professional adult.
Quite the contrary.
I think you have been extraordinarily helpful, patient, and kind to the OP.
It really is a shame though, as all your encouragement and explanation will go for naught.
The OP has too many excuses and 'buts', which are a hindrance to real and permanent change.
I know this is off the main subject, but I wanted to point out that even in the same area in the same state, the pay scale for aides varies dramatically.
In my district handicapped children's aides, I believe start at $14 or $15 an hour with full benefits and work full time and those who have been with the district more than 15 years make over $20 an hour.
Just one district over (actually a much wealthier district) I believe, that their aides start at $12 an hour, with only part time hours (three to six hours a day) and very, very limited benefits. I believe that their top pay is $14 or $15 an hour.
Obviously, the competition for special education aide jobs is pretty fierce in my district. That is why almost all of the new hires are college graduates, often with teaching degrees. Clerical aides or regular education aides are paid far, far less, have significantly fewer benefits and only work part time (three to six hours a day)
Aides make peanuts where I live, about $60-$70 per day, because they are part-time employeers. I'm sorry, that's not exactly a living wage, and the work is in some cases much harder.
OK, maybe not a lunch lady My point was a way for her to use her education to increase her income. I don't know what a COTA is, but we have classroom aids here who have degrees and work for about $10/hour. They do it because the hours are great.
I've said several times that she needs to get her hygiene issues under control. My post only was to address her income issue.
COTA is Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant, the OT version of a PT assistant. They could work 2 or 3 days a week in nursing homes and make more than they would working 5 days with school pay. Most districts contract out therapy services so it's not a problem, but many districts with large special ed populations (we had 3 Preschool Disabled Classrooms and every elementary school had several self-contained classrooms, aside from the mainstreamed kids) realized it's cheaper to hire their own, so I worked directly for the district and was classified as a teacher, although I started much higher on the scale than actual teachers because they had to do that to hire any OT...unfortunately they weren't able to do that with the COTAs for whatever reason. It ended up being the reason I quit after 5 years, I had 70 kids in 9 schools some 15 miles apart who I had to see every week, some of them twice a week, and it was just way to much for one person and their contract allowed no solution.
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They'll get closed by the Health Department...but that's beside the point, right?
I challenge you to find me a classroom aide or lunch lady at your school who has a Masters in Education. I do not think it exists. But again, that is secondary IMO to why the advice isn't all that helpful to OP as a first step.
The school district I worked in, we had the opposite problem. I was the O.T., and had too big a caseload so they were going to hire a COTA for me. Well COTA is a 2-year degree and the teachers contract (i was under the contract as well) said no one with a 2-year degree could be paid more than a classroom aide, which is also a 2-year degree....so in the "real world" of for-profit health care, COTAs make $30 an hour or more, but we couldn't pay one more than $12 an hour. I would get new grads who just wanted to be trained in working in schools, then they'd quit in the middle of the year We tried, and there was no way around it.
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LOL! Yeah, we've established that I'm pretty bad at food service jobs. I don't know if I'm that bad, but I can certainly imagine insulting my coworkers (accidentally), wearing a dirty uniform, or getting hair in the food. Plus, my executive functioning skills would mean I would get yelled at pretty frequently for messing things up, and it's a low paid profession, much lower than what I'm making now.
There may be an exception, but the aides I've encountered don't make a lot of money. I don't know how they survive off of what they make, but I suspect they are married and their husbands pay the bills. Either that, or they still live at home with family, or maybe draw pensions.
How many hours do you work, and why are you gone for such long hours?
Can you get a second job? School districts have all kinds of positions with low hours - before and after care, classroom aids, lunch ladies, playground helpers. You might even be able to get a job as an aid in a special ed classroom because you "get it."
You still need to work on your hygiene issues, though. That is going to be an obstacle no matter where you work.
I work about 40 hours per week on my first job, and around 5-6 on my second job. I'm also taking a class which takes up about 4 hours per week and about 4-5 hours for study time if you count the online homework, and I go to church about 3 times per week (although this is not technically a necessity as far as work goes, it's a routine I'm quite used to. My therapist and I talked about breaking this routine and maybe cutting down my church attendance, but I just don't think I'm ready for that.) I also do private tutoring on the side, when I can actually find clients, but I guess we won't count that, because so far I've been doing that for less than 1 hour per week.
So, my daily schedule can look like this on some days:
4:30 wake up
5:00 shower and get dressed
5:30 make breakfast
6:00 check email
6:30 go to work
3:00 leave from work
3:30-6:00 attend class
6:00-7:00 attend study group to pass the class
7:00-9:30 attend church
10:00 return home and go to sleep
and like this on other days
4:30 wake up
5:00 shower and get dressed
5:30 make breakfast
6:00 check email
6:30 go to work
3:00 leave work
3:30-4:00 prepare for other job
4:30 go to other job
5:00-8:00 work
8:30-9:30 do homework
10:00 go to sleep
The weekends aren't like this, though, and I do have some free time on Friday and Monday, too, although I'm currently trying to apply for a third job as an online tutor.
She eventually revealed that it was her student loans because I was wondering why she was always looking for more money every year.
Lol, why would you ask a friend why they wanted to make more money? Don't you? She told you 'student loans' to shut you up about the subject, since it's a conversation stopper.
COTA is Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant, the OT version of a PT assistant. They could work 2 or 3 days a week in nursing homes and make more than they would working 5 days with school pay. Most districts contract out therapy services so it's not a problem, but many districts with large special ed populations (we had 3 Preschool Disabled Classrooms and every elementary school had several self-contained classrooms, aside from the mainstreamed kids) realized it's cheaper to hire their own, so I worked directly for the district and was classified as a teacher, although I started much higher on the scale than actual teachers because they had to do that to hire any OT...unfortunately they weren't able to do that with the COTAs for whatever reason. It ended up being the reason I quit after 5 years, I had 70 kids in 9 schools some 15 miles apart who I had to see every week, some of them twice a week, and it was just way to much for one person and their contract allowed no solution.
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I've heard about that happening a lot. Schools do not pay their support staff enough money.
Aides make peanuts where I live, about $60-$70 per day, because they are part-time employeers. I'm sorry, that's not exactly a living wage, and the work is in some cases much harder.
My suggestion was to do it as a second job not an only job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501
I work about 40 hours per week on my first job, and around 5-6 on my second job. I'm also taking a class which takes up about 4 hours per week and about 4-5 hours for study time if you count the online homework, and I go to church about 3 times per week (although this is not technically a necessity as far as work goes, it's a routine I'm quite used to. My therapist and I talked about breaking this routine and maybe cutting down my church attendance, but I just don't think I'm ready for that.) I also do private tutoring on the side, when I can actually find clients, but I guess we won't count that, because so far I've been doing that for less than 1 hour per week.
So, my daily schedule can look like this on some days:
4:30 wake up
5:00 shower and get dressed
5:30 make breakfast
6:00 check email
6:30 go to work
3:00 leave from work
3:30-6:00 attend class
6:00-7:00 attend study group to pass the class
7:00-9:30 attend church
10:00 return home and go to sleep
and like this on other days
4:30 wake up
5:00 shower and get dressed
5:30 make breakfast
6:00 check email
6:30 go to work
3:00 leave work
3:30-4:00 prepare for other job
4:30 go to other job
5:00-8:00 work
8:30-9:30 do homework
10:00 go to sleep
The weekends aren't like this, though, and I do have some free time on Friday and Monday, too, although I'm currently trying to apply for a third job as an online tutor.
I'm not an interviewer, but I think they think that it serves as sort of an "honesty test." Why would you be nervous if you didn't have anything to hide? Well, you and I do have something to hide, but it's not what employers may guess. Ironically, some of these "honesty tests"(especially the personality tests) may result in employers hiring many very good liars. Of course, maybe I'm biased. After all, I used to feel like people were acting when they expressed really clear emotions publicly. For example, I see a salesman smiling I may think, "that person is smiling, because he or she is trying to sell me something; that's all." In my opinion, it should be rude to create a "false" emotional connection (for example, if a person smiles at you, they're just being friendly; they probably don't want to be your friend.), but NTs do it all of the time, and workplaces encourage it!
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy politeness, but sometimes people who are overly polite are annoying because it is so obviously FAKE. Don't annoy me by pretending to be my friend, learning my name and greeting me, and then turn on me! If you make me think you are going to do something, do it. If you tell me, "let's hang out at the library sometimes," you should set a time to meet me at the library and talk to me! Don't just say things to make yourself look good or to make the situation more pleasant. Isn't that almost as bad as playing a joke on someone at their expense? Can you believe how normal it is to hurt people in this society?
In interviews, I will say "it was nice to meet you" because I know that's what I have to do but I hate it because it feels so fake and they must know I don't really mean it so why am I expected to say it? I hate that I have to try to play their game when I'm so bad at it.
I had this with my coach. I tried to give her a chance because I really needed the help but her vibe (I don't know if it was me being observant or it was just an unexplained energy but whatever it was) was way off. I called her and the lady higher up on it. I said you all don't care about me you're just doing this to get your check from social services. They continued to try and tell me that they really do care not only that they tried to get me to believe they UNDERSTOOD. I mean I guess if you had a client and said you're right I don't care about you to their face it would be a bad situation but you don't have to lie to me and say you understood when you didn't because I get that it is hard to understand. Maybe actually try listening to my point of view and here's the thing: why are people like that even hired to do those jobs in the first place if they don't care? They need to evaluate themselves if a client calls them out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
An employer giving you feedback about an interview is a far cry from a co-worker remarking to you that your hair is dirty or that you have B.O.
Yeah I know it's pretty different but I'm saying in general that filters are unnecessary. They don't give honest feedback and even when they do they don't say anything when I explain why it's not a problem.
That's what I had when the one interviewer told me I stuttered and that he'd need to put me as cashier. I said that's okay I'll take anything you have and I believe I said something about how I'd be different on the job (I don't remember exactly after I said that's okay but I know I said something). I figured it wasn't sinking in to him since he got quiet so to protect myself I disclosed but then I didn't get hired.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TGPII
Don't worry, look at Trump he is an ass and became president.
My suggestion was to do it as a second job not an only job.
So you already have 2 jobs...
Yeah, but I need a third one, preferably full-time. I know that's not possible with my current schedule without doing some serious damage to my body and mind, though.
See, though, aides have almost the same schedule as teachers. They're required to be at the school when the kids are. Now, if I had a degree in Occupational or Physical Therapy, that would be different. I don't even have an LVN license, though. I could probably get one, but the hours conflict with my work hours. I seriously should have looked into that when I was an unemployed college student living off of the government...the financial aid office made me think that you couldn't attend two programs at different schools, though.
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My point was a way for her to use her education to increase her income. I don't know what a COTA is, but we have classroom aids here who have degrees and work for about $10/hour. They do it because the hours are great. 
We tried, and there was no way around it.
Plus, my executive functioning skills would mean I would get yelled at pretty frequently for messing things up, and it's a low paid profession, much lower than what I'm making now. 
