Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She'd probably make the same money working less hours as a waitress somewhere.
ACA has made those jobs a lot harder to find.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen
Bankruptcy won't remove medical debts, as I recall. A federal law was passed some years ago to prevent medical bills being wiped out by BR.
I thought the only debt that can't be discharged by bankruptcy was student loans, government debt, child/spousal support and malicious/dui lawsuit debts.
I have seen other married women get into similar situations. When they are married, they don't work, don't learn a skill or trade or profession...considering that taking care of the home and the kids is their "work."
I've told some married women (who I knew well) that they should plan to take care of themselves in the future, should their situation change. Every adult needs to be able to take care of himself/herself. But they all poo-pooed that idea, being a tad smug about it (I have been divorced some years). Unfortunately, what could happen did happen a few times, and they were left (after husband's death or departure for greener pastures) with debts and no ability to earn a good living. Not that I liked seeing that happen.
I saw this happen to my mother, is why I think that stay-at-home wives & mothers need to be able to be completely independent, should something happen.
Then, she didn't take an interest at all in her future, it seems. She could have made sure that there was life insurance, insuring her one source of income. She could have made sure her medical insurance had a more manageable cap on out of pocket expenses. (If she had med. ins.)
But...she is where she is.
First, she needs a job that pays better. Whatever she has to do. Does she know computers? Can she type? Does she know any software programs? For a permanent job, she needs something where she sits down most of the time, so she can work in that job until she's 90, if necessary.
I think medical bills cannot be wiped out w/bankruptcy. If she has big bills other than medical, she might consider bankruptcy. This should be a last resort, since it would affect her credit for years to come, and some employers check credit ratings and look for at least decent ratings.
Her 30 year old son needs to get a job making as much as possible, and kick in as much as possible to the household. She's lucky to have him around.
If she has a mortgage (I forget what your OP said)...maybe she can sell that and move into an inexpensive apartment. Maybe that apt can be near public transportation & grocery stores, so she can walk or ride a bike sometimes, instead of using her car.
I don't know if she can stand up for long periods, but being a bar maid can bring in some cash...either as a main (but temporary) job, or part time to supplement her other job. Tips are better than food waitresses. No benefits.
Is she SURE that her husband's company didn't provide life insurance? Many cos. provide a small life insurance policy as a benefit.
Bottom line, being frugal only goes so far. She needs to make more money.
On the expenses side, if she eats beef, she may consider giving that up entirely (and pork). Beef is known to cause cancer. So she will lessen her chances of getting cancer again, and at the same time, cut her food bill. It's a frugal living thing to get your protein from beans w/rice, eggs, cheap forms of cheese, and other things. It's less expensive, and you get more protein bang for your buck.
I feel for her. There is no easy way out. I wish there were an easy answer. But on the positive side, she does have her young son as a roommate, and she does at least have a job.
Is there a way for her to get another older woman roommate, who pays half the mortgage (if the son can't)?
I thought the only debt that can't be discharged by bankruptcy was student loans, government debt, child/spousal support and malicious/dui lawsuit debts.
I may be misremembering. Or maybe it was a state thing. I remember when a law was passed on that....a big brou-ha-ha..Joe Biden was involved with it.
I have seen other married women get into similar situations. When they are married, they don't work, don't learn a skill or trade or profession...considering that taking care of the home and the kids is their "work."
I've told some married women (who I knew well) that they should plan to take care of themselves in the future, should their situation change. Every adult needs to be able to take care of himself/herself. But they all poo-pooed that idea, being a tad smug about it (I have been divorced some years). Unfortunately, what could happen did happen a few times, and they were left (after husband's death or departure for greener pastures) with debts and no ability to earn a good living. Not that I liked seeing that happen.?
The smart women are the ones who took out life insurance policies on their husband, and/or kept their skills and education updated while they were staying home. Being a SAHM is in fact, hard work, but it's a huge financial risk to take unless you plan ahead. Most SAHMs I know at least have college degrees, many have even more education than that, like MBAs. A lot of them go back to work eventually.
However, the person the OP describes did not plan ahead, it seems she just lived for the moment.
I thought the only debt that can't be discharged by bankruptcy was student loans, government debt, child/spousal support and malicious/dui lawsuit debts.
You are correct.
You can discharge (wipe out) medical bills if you file a Chapter 7 type of bankruptcy. (There are other types of bankruptcy, and the requirements for filing a Ch. 7 are strict, but I think the friend of the OP would qualify.)
What I was remembering was that Biden pushed a bill in the Senate that was successful that made it harder for debtors to qualify for bankruptcy, and Warren & others pointed out that most often debtors filed for bankruptcy because of medical bills....not piling on tons of credit for purchases that they knew they couldn't pay for (which was Biden's position of what was happening with BR). It did something in BR law, like giving credit card companies priority over medical bills or something. I'm not clear on that.
But the friend of OP should qualify for the "wipeout" type of Bankruptcy, and that should wipe out ("discharge") the bills.
He's telling this story from a 3rd person perspective, which means there are details that are expected to be off or missing. With 3rd person stories, if you really want to you can find all kinds of supposed contradictions simply because there are inevitable holes. It's pointless to try to psychoanalyze a 3rd person perspective story.
yes I am a 3rd person perspective ............ let me make this as simple as possible.......................
1, This lady is a family friend
2, Shes 49
3, She was married 20 years, husband was the primary worker he was full time 55k a year, her part time 7k a year
4, 3 years ago he passed away suddenly
5, THEY HAD NO LIFE INSURANCE........ I cant believe it but its true so please stop bashing that!! I feel the same they didn't and that was a HUGE mistake.
6, she tried to maintain the home they had and looked for other work but the HUGE bills swallowed up their 45 grand in savings. She then got cancer, and had to stop working for a time, had to run up credit cards to live
6, a year and a half ago had a heart attack and with all that somewhere in there filed bankruptcy. I think she said she did that BEFORE her heart attack.
7........ fast forward to now she works full time as a med tech and cna and is severely underpaid 10.75 a hour I believe...... and with a occasional on call that makes her pay occasionally 11.50 I think?? a hour... I know its under 12 a hour for sure>>>>> so please I may be off a quarter or so but regardless its VERY LOW PAY............
and she lives with her son, she had a lousy car that was costing thousands!!! so my family and I decided to buy for her a reliable car last week that cost us $3000 and we are helping her with any repairs but so far it seems to be a good one
she does not want handouts and even wants to repay the 3000 we said nope... but she wants to thats the kind of person she is!! very nice for sure!! a lovely lady...
PLEASE PEOPLE READ THE POSTS.. I AM NOT RELATED TO HER NOT MARRIED TO HER MY WIFE AND I ARE FRIENDS WITH HER AND FEEL HORRIBLY HOW LIFE HAS KNOCKED OUT SUCH A NICE, SMART ,HARD WORKING HONEST PERSON.....
These are the facts as I best know them AND I TOTALLY AGREE ABOUT BEING IRRESPONSIBLE ABOUT NOT HAVING LIFE INSURANCE >> yes a dumb thing but again, we all are different, they didn't use common sense................... but all that aside...................... with her above situation my main reason was to see if there is anyone with ideas on what she can do to at least have a home of her own
technically her rent should be about 395 a month as thats about 30% of her pay..................
BUT PLEASE PEOPLE,........................ SHES NOT LAZY AND I AGAIN AM ONLY FRIENDS WITH HER.............
we cant have her live here we as she wants her own place........
with her health she cant do alot of hard work like work on a assembly line ect....
and she told me she isnt eligible for SSDI because she doesnt have enough quarters and since shes only 49, and her kids are grown she was told she cannot collect on her deceased husbands social security until shes 62??? because her kids are grown ?? This I am not sure of or if I explained it as she told me....
but again, please........... we know she should have had life insurance,
I may not be 100% correct on some things like the social security thing I am hoping I recalled it correctly as she told me??? what if anything is recommended???
I am going to call HUD tomorrow and see if I can find out something she didn't know...............................
I HOPE NOW MY POST IS MUCH CLEARER................................ THANK YOU
It would be more ideal for her to get two jobs, preferably one of them being a desk job. And get a roommate in a low rent apartment. And also take a Dave Ramsey course to learn how to plan ahead better and take charge of her finances. In fact, you might help her by giving her the Dave Ramsey course as a gift, if you are so inclined. DR has helped many people get back on track.
Bankruptcy does remove medical debts. It does not remove IRS debts, child support, legal fines, or student loan debts.
When one is in a place like this ''want'' and ''need'' are usually two different things. Ya gotta go with what works.
Craigslist is another option for house sharing or roommates. Some older single people want someone just to live on their premises and help out with this and that.
Then there's always match.com....LOL
Last edited by HappyDogToday; 01-11-2017 at 04:23 PM..
It would be more ideal for her to get two jobs, preferably one of them being a desk job. And get a roommate in a low rent apartment. And also take a Dave Ramsey course to learn how to plan ahead better and take charge of her finances. In fact, you might help her by giving her the Dave Ramsey course as a gift, if you are so inclined. DR has helped many people get back on track.
she wants to get a part time job BUT... she has heart issues and may not be able to handle the stress of it. but shes looking... but has to be careful
Personally I feel she works 40 hours a week and should be paid a living wage... I see the work they do, all the reports and even goes in on call or works double shifts....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
