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An odd thing happened to me at work today. My "big" boss pulled me aside to tell me that I was getting a bonus. She quickly followed-up that news w/ a quick, but jarring side note: "...from a professional perspective, your dress is a little too on the business casual side. Now that you have this bonus money, you can buy yourself some new clothes. You need to dress for the position you want..." she's telling me this as she's wearing FLARED jeans. I had on a grey sweater, black trousers/jeggings, a long necklace,black suede boots and makeup.
I'm perplexed by her statement for a few reasons:
1- I am 36 and dress pretty much exactly how the other women dress in the office: jeans/slacks/dresses or skirts that pass my fingertips/the occasional thick jegging. blouses, sometimes a button down, sweaters/cardigans/the occasional blazer. suede or leather flat booties. makeup and jewelry.
2- this is a pharma company that runs the gamut of either super dressy or super casual. there are women who dress the full nine,while there are others who wear jeans everyday
3- I looked in the employee handbook and I am not wearing anything out of line. Nothing is ever ripped, frayed or revealing. My cleavage is almost always covered - whatever nature allows, I'm busty.
4- the other day I had something on that I receive multiple compliments from multiple people, including my direct manager
5- why is she telling me this now, after 6 months of working there??
It bothers me because I am conscious of what I wear to work and try to go out of my way to look nice. I'm always groomed and never disheveled. + I just spent $300 on new clothes just for work! One of my main concerns is that no matter how much money I spend on new clothes now, I will always feel uncomfortable and self conscious and in turn, I'm worried that it will ultimately affect my performance.
I'm not sure if this is out of personal preference or she thinks that she mentoring me, but it took the wind out of my sails right after finding out that I was getting a performance based bonus. + I was just downright offended. I've been working my a@#$ off lately. It was very frustrating to me because not only did me and another girl in my dept have almost the same exact outfit on the other day, but she's telling me this as she and multiple ppl in the office are wearing jeans. One woman in my dept dresses my like 65 y.o alcoholic aunt.
I'm not sure what I should do. Should I confront her and ask her if she has spoken to anyone else in the department about the way they dress? should I ask for examples? should I just ignore her?
You probably dress just fine --- to fit in as 'one of the girls.' But, even you pointed out, "This is a pharma company that runs the gamut of either super dressy or super casual. there are women who dress the full nine,while there are others who wear jeans everyday." I know nothing about women's fashions, but, ask yourself this question: "As you move up in the company, do you want to be identified with the women who "dress the full nine" or "others who wear jeans everyday"?
Your "big boss" may see more potential in you than you see in yourself and may be doing you a favor. Given the comment, it may be time to look at those in positions 1-2 levels above you and honestly ask yourself, "Is that how I dress?" (Not, feeling insulted because you are dressing like everyone else at your level) -- While you are at it, -- take a look at how they carry themselves and interact with others.
As a man and past employer, I could clearly see the difference between how those who were looking at the job as a career (versus those only looking for a 'job') dressed for employment interviews. Also, years ago, I worked for IBM years ago - and went through a "dress for success" class. I never again looked at how I dressed in the workplace the same way.
It depends. Is you're boss quirky with clothes? I had a boss who thought a woman wearing a dress (professional suit dress) was inappropriate for the office. She even wrote me up saying I dressed to go out at night. These were dresses from the suiting department, no cleavage and knee length.
She could also be telling you to dress for the job you want. If you want to move up the ladder, dress more professionally. I agree, jeggings don't belong in the office.
An odd thing happened to me at work today. My "big" boss pulled me aside to tell me that I was getting a bonus. She quickly followed-up that news w/ a quick, but jarring side note: "...from a professional perspective, your dress is a little too on the business casual side. Now that you have this bonus money, you can buy yourself some new clothes. You need to dress for the position you want..." she's telling me this as she's wearing FLARED jeans. I had on a grey sweater, black trousers/jeggings, a long necklace,black suede boots and makeup.
I'm perplexed by her statement for a few reasons:
1- I am 36 and dress pretty much exactly how the other women dress in the office: jeans/slacks/dresses or skirts that pass my fingertips/the occasional thick jegging. blouses, sometimes a button down, sweaters/cardigans/the occasional blazer. suede or leather flat booties. makeup and jewelry.
2- this is a pharma company that runs the gamut of either super dressy or super casual. there are women who dress the full nine,while there are others who wear jeans everyday,.....
I'm not sure if this is out of personal preference or she thinks that she mentoring me, but it took the wind out of my sails right after finding out that I was getting a performance based bonus. + I was just downright offended. I've been working my a@#$ off lately. It was very frustrating to me because not only did me and another girl in my dept have almost the same exact outfit on the other day, but she's telling me this as she and multiple ppl in the office are wearing jeans. One woman in my dept dresses my like 65 y.o alcoholic aunt.
...
Any advice would be much appreciated!
She has just done several positive things for you.
a. She, and her managers have recognized that you are a top performer who has "been working your a@#$ off" and they have taken note of you for potential higher level jobs.
b. She is mentoring you by letting you know to "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." That is standard advice that I recall reading at least 30 years ago when I was just starting out. And yes, the author did mention that women have a harder time with this advice than men; that for some reason women tend to dress like secretaries rather than executives, even when they were or wanted to be executives. The point was, that if you want to move up, whether you're a man or woman, you need to dress the part; that if you dress like the secretary, the executives would perceive you that way.
You said yourself you dress pretty much the way the other women in your office dress. She's saying how you can stand out from the crowd. I'd lay odds you are being, or are about to be tested for moving up.
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